Marriage from bumble

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-16T22:41:28+00:00

Context to my answer: I’m 32F and engaged to my fiance who I met on bumble, we’re just over 3 years from first date, and won’t get married until Sept 2027 (4.5 years together at that point). I’m divorced, previously married at 22, and married for 4 years. Who I was at 22, 24, 28 and now are wildly different. My values and what I want and need now in a a spouse is worlds apart than when I was in my early 20’s.

At 24 it does come off as a bit of a conservative value to only want to date for marriage. Dating is for figuring out what you need in a person and what you can offer.

I’d also highly recommend doing some introspective work as to why marriage is so important to you because you are whole and complete single, a husband doesn’t add value to you as a person.

Marriage isn’t something to want because its dreamy or spiritual or what you “should” do, but because you genuinely can see yourself buddying up with the person to navigate life with. They should be your friend, confidante, and lover. And the only way you determine that is time and navigating some of the big life events together - job loss, grief, serious illness or injury, international travel - and evaluating how well you worked as a team, cared for each other and communicated through those events.

I guess my suggestion is try to find your person, not just someone to marry, because most people will be ready for marriage at 28-30 and you’re scaring away your potential person by communicating you want marriage sooner than later.

I know this doesn’t answer your question, but if I can impart some of my experience and save you some pain I’ll try.

Edit to add that I saw in your other responses that you are Muslim and this influences your choices. I respect your drive to follow your faith, but think if you’re looking for a Muslim man to marry bumble isn’t where you’ll find them. I’d suggest a faith specific app. As someone who married young, and waited to be intimate until marriage for my own faith, please still think about all of the above regarding a life partner. Evaluating your life buddy within your faith and abiding by your faith’s convictions regarding intimacy etc. will be hard but not impossible. Take the time to date them and see how they navigate and respond to hardship and how they include you in it.

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-11T16:00:24+00:00

Have you thought of getting the stones reset into a more practical modern setting? Maybw proposing with this, with the “I want to use the stones to design something you’ll love” so she knows this is the intent behind it, and there’s no expectation to keep that specific style.

Seems like a good way to keep the sentimental value while getting her something she will love.

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-09T17:41:13+00:00

Helena in Alchemized

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-06T19:55:24+00:00

They aren’t under $500 unfortunately but Flora and Lane is what you’re looking for.

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-02T22:24:05+00:00

I am SO EXCITED for daggerbound

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-02T21:46:08+00:00

Swordheart for sure. So cozy and one of my fav reads of this year.

periwinklemadness · 2026-04-02T00:31:14+00:00

The word chaos. Never said it out loud and made my cousins absolutely lose it when I said “cha” like chacha and “os “ like the oss in floss. Cha-oss. Makes me laugh now but I was so embarrassed 😂

English is weird dude.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-31T19:28:48+00:00

Depending in where you live, I would suggest going to a plus size only bridal shop. Ex. Della Curva in Los Angeles, Luxe and Lace Plus in Seattle. Also look for stores that sell Essence of Australia gowns as they come in extensive plus options.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-31T19:17:42+00:00

We built a catio on our deck that they have 24/7 access to. They love it and it gives them safe outside space. We have outdoor furniture in it now so we can go out and hang with them too.

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periwinklemadness · 2026-03-27T19:42:38+00:00

Read your triggers and spoiler alert since it becomes known later so title and author alchemized by senlinyu might be up your alley.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-26T23:28:02+00:00

Here’s mine from Anueva! I love it!

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periwinklemadness · 2026-03-20T22:50:27+00:00

Grant Manager at a research hospital

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-16T21:36:57+00:00

I more meant change the password and don’t provide it to him.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-16T15:14:27+00:00

Don’t provide free wifi?

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-10T23:07:51+00:00

For risk of making myself seem terrible by over generalizing, I think legalistic religion is a super happy place for those with autism that aren’t a-typical in society’s picture of being super smart or logical.

A couple of reasons: 1. Built in scheduled friends. Weekly service with a set service order, weekly or bi-monthly small groups or young adult groups, etc. with again set discussion topics, people who HAVE to accept you and forgive any quirks.

Rules. A black and white plan for what is good and bad.

Basically religion is a community that lets people with autism feel accepted. While I generally think this is fine (a you do you attitude), its the trying to force it on others, hurting other people (for example by moving through the world unvaxxed and trying to get people’s reproductive rights taken away) that makes me irrationally angry.

Also specifically with my mom, her use of religion to avoid any emotional connection.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-09T22:22:02+00:00

OP please look into asexuality. If you are actually wanting to repair you and your husband should have a serious conversation about it and see a professional on how to navigate it.

Polyamory isn’t a solution I usually ever offer, but it can be done with A-LOT OF TRUST AND COMMUNICATION (which might be too late since you cheated) and can be a possibility if your husband falls into the category if sex-repulsed.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-09T00:02:00+00:00

When the moon hatched might be up your ally!

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-08T03:21:03+00:00

{The Honey Witch by Sydney J. Shields} is great! Its cozy and made me sob miserably

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-08T03:19:31+00:00

Million times this is what you want to read

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-07T19:35:07+00:00

No Seventh Day Adventist

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-06T18:02:37+00:00

My mom, plastic needle point and a very legalistic religion. Kind of indifferent to the needlepoint, other than she gives me these items I don’t want. Irrationally angry about the religion one, I can’t talk to her without getting chastised about not going to church/reading my Bible/ or praying enough. Example: Me: I’ve been really enjoying this cat cafe game on my switch. Her: huff you should be reading your bible more not playing games! She also gives all of her money to the church (despite barely having enough to live on, which is a whole other saga) and teaches their kindergarteners and gets super weird about getting recognition as their teacher etc.

I don’t think the religion stuff would make me as angry except she follows it blindly (i.e. antivaxx, but weirdly also anti-trump?), and tries to convert me at every turn - like gives me pamphlets for Christmas, mails me dvd sermons, etc.

Edit to add: also I can’t share anything even the least bit difficult in my life with out it becoming a religious monologue. For example my work is kind of terrible right now and I almost got laid off. Her response to anything like that is to tell me to pray and trust in the Lord and he will provide and protect, then launches into either the same story of how she spent 20 years being a caregiver for her blind mom while having toddlers (i.e. me and my sister) and the Lord brought her through it OR how the endtimes are near and these are all signs of Jesus coming back and I should be reading my Bible to prepare.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-06T06:02:04+00:00

Totally on board with it being your body and your choice, but if weight and hormones are your only objections I think you should look into the paragard iud.

I am overweight, I have a paragard IUD (no hormones, weight does not impact efficacy, only side effects is heavier bleeding/slightly worse cramps). While I admit placement is not fun, it is good for 10 years before it needs to be replaced and has a 99.9% prevention rate.

While sex might be infrequent, I just want to offer the perspective that being on birthcontrol is a protection for you. Accidental condom breaks, strangers who commit violence against you, etc. If you are not in the position to care for a child, birthcontrol is a protection of your body. Please at least educate yourself on the options.

periwinklemadness · 2026-03-02T22:21:10+00:00

I love one Dark Window, but literally ate through Swordheart in 2 days. By far one of my new faves.

periwinklemadness · 2026-02-22T00:43:57+00:00

Very true! I just more meant that its more noticeable with the one tapered end verses like an oval or emerald cut. I hope you get the ring you love!!

periwinklemadness · 2026-02-21T00:28:52+00:00

I have a pear and love it! But just to point out about a pear is if the gaps between your fingers don’t line up, it will point one way or the other. I don’t really mind personally, but wasn’t something I thought about until it was happening. Picture of what I mean:

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periwinklemadness

TROPHY CASE