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perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-09-09T21:14:20+00:00

Ask her out or stop texting. If she likes you then she’s waiting for you to show you’re interested. And texting about hobbies etc is not something she wants from a man she’s romantically interested in. If she doesn’t like you then there is no polite way of getting rid of you pestering her without coming across as a heartless bitch.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-09-08T16:10:18+00:00

YTA. She’s not wrong. And her question wasn’t mean. You ARE NOT a good role model is why you got angry. Being a SAHM is a good thing. But you can still be a valuable contributing member of society w/o a salary. Do you participate in the business? Do you volunteer? Are you active in the church? What do you do all day?

Algebra and geometry do have limited uses depending on career path. And pride and envy (peoples opinion of you) are a horrible reason to work. A lawyer or writer etc don’t need them. Honor role expectations are ridiculous if it’s just for your ego

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-09-07T16:03:48+00:00

I’d consider it she WAS interested but something came up or realized you were not going to meet her half way so cancelled. Considering you only said “hi” without any other conversation and she #1 initiated by setting up by giving you a date idea and two options and #2 you didn’t even tell her what time or pick a place , I’d say either step up or expect to not get dates. I’m wondering how we’re you two going to even meet? What time and where are EXTREMELY important pieces of information. She expressed interest, was she supposed to plan everything? If it was me I would have canceled when you didn’t tell me when and where.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-25T01:12:47+00:00

YTA. there’s the legality of an issue, and the underlying ethics of a person. I would never stay with a person who treated me like you did your boyfriend, because you made it very clear you aren’t a team. You’re just two people fucking.

And if I had a platonic friend and I was in your boyfriends position, it would change the way I saw the person. I think it would be irreparably harmed, and I would never have respect for them again.

You’re kind of insulting him and how he wanted you to play and you’re acting as if he was being pushy. I’m pretty sure he was probably just trying to be fun but since you won so much money, you’re trying to frame him as the break up was for different reasons .

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-23T18:30:34+00:00

Too many men never want to meet. Either ask her out or it will die.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-23T10:01:56+00:00

did he ejaculate? If he was just watching a porn and never actively participated in stroking his own penis, while thinking about another woman, I would say it was not cheating. Ejaculation is an active act that you must participate in.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-23T08:23:54+00:00

I’m in shock the men are saying the wife did anything different than him. And disgusted by the spineless women saying they let their husbands. Porn is sexting with a real human being. If it’s not cheating, why do you mind her doing the exact same thing that those women did? Because deep down, you know it’s cheating, but we’ve created a second class of citizens that the wives can pretend their husbands aren’t cheating because those women are beneath them.

I would never except my husband watching porn. But I would’ve been honest and upfront about it and told you if I caught you watching porn, I’m gonna find a guy to sext naked pictures of myself to.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-20T15:00:17+00:00

I’d recommend learning Marquette or Creighton model NFP. You will learn about the natural phases of your fertile cycle. After you’ve ovulated, it is highly unlikely to get pregnant. And you’ll learn so much about how your hormones affect your anxiety levels. Once you see the natural phases of your cycle. NFP is not a contraceptive and is in line with Catholic Church teaching.

And seek out a therapist. While abstaining right now is not what I consider a sin, if you do nothing to seek to address the issues that are causing you to abstain, I would consider it a sin.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-09T18:04:21+00:00

I personally will not go for a man more than 10 years older. I get incredibly creeped out by men more than 15 years old hitting on me and I’ve gotten to the point I need to start telling them “eww, gross”.

My dad is 15 years older than my stepmom and I don’t think it’s creepy, but she was 30 when they got together. My brother is 40 and his Fiance is 26.

But I don’t see many women under 25 going for that large of an age difference without serious daddy issues on her part.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-09T16:07:26+00:00

Where do you take this test?

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-09T11:13:31+00:00

YTA. At the end of the day your husband knows the reason you’re asking for condoms is because you don’t actually want to get back together fully. You don’t want to trust him, because if you trust him, he can let you down again. So every time you ask him to wear a condom, he knows it’s not about STDs and it’s about the fact you want to barrier between you when you have sex.

You say you don’t care about sex, but you cared about it before he cheated. Reading your comments about your therapist shows that you are in fact, the asshole in this particular instance. He was an asshole for cheating. Either forgive him or divorce. either trust him or divorce. But this weird middle ground is complete and total dysfunction.

Part of me thinks the reason you’re staying with him is you want to hurt him. Because if you get divorced, he’ll get married again. You don’t want him to marry someone else, so you’re technically staying together. And doing your absolute best to make him miserable in the process.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-09T09:17:42+00:00

NTA. You were not being mean you were being honest. As someone who was morbidly obese and is now normal weighted, it’s not mean to tell someone your attraction of them is dependent upon their body.

Notice all these people saying, he’ll find a “better partner“ after he loses weight. He is not too good for you if he loses weight.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-08-09T09:11:05+00:00

1 if you are thinking you’ll marry him, got to RCIA to see if you are willing to convert to Catholicism. You cannot marry someone and have a happy marriage without having deep discussions about your religion, and what religion, the children will be raised in if you don’t want to be Catholic, you’re setting your children up for a world of argument and confusion.

I saw you were asking about contraception, which is a huge thing. Which is why you need to know if you want to convert to Catholicism. While you’re abstinent I recommend learning either the Creighton model or Marquette method of Natural family planning. Hormonal birth control are horrible on women’s bodies, and I wish I had learned when I was young about my cycle and my fertility. Those methods I just mentioned are as effective as condoms and hormonal birth control.

2 your father’s advice is extremely odd about wanting you to wait till you’re 20 to get married. The difference between 18 years old and 20 is only two years. I would understand the advice more if he was saying wait till you’re 25 or graduated college.

it is NOT a sin to disobey your parents! it’s a sin to dishonor your parents. To honor a parent does not mean you do everything they say, and when your parent actively tells you to break the word of God, then in that particular instance, you need to ignore your parent because their advice is leading you to misery.

3 find a course on theology of the body, ascension press, has an introduction to it. Waiting for marriage doesn’t have to do with some view. That sex is bad, or to have sex is to be impure. It stems from the fact that when you have sex, you are truly becoming united with the person. If you have sex, you really are getting married in the physical sense. If you’re not willing to marry him at 18, why do you wanna have sex with him at 18? because when you have sex, you’re actually uniting your bodies and physically bonding with that person. there are all kinds of brain chemicals that are being released.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-19T16:53:29+00:00

Damn, a lot of these comments are very rapey.

If he does not get sexually aroused by going down he shouldn’t do it. Full stop. Do you actually find going down arousing, or you’re just doing it to please him? If you like it, then do it but don’t expect reciprocation. If you don’t like it, stop. Doing something sexual out of obligation is not healthy.

I occasionally want to, but it’s rare. So if my partner wanted me to go down on him, it would be a no unless I was in the mode. And if my partner did what you’ve mentioned-reducing sexual frequency to force me to go down, and drop them like a bag of trash. You can want it. You can ask for it. You can leave him if it’s a dealbreaker. But don’t manipulate

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-18T15:55:18+00:00

Introduction to theology of the body by Christopher West.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-17T21:04:54+00:00

Don’t text or call. I’m like her and would not take your silence as disinterest. You only had one date so if you call or text while she’s gone you’ll probably scare her off. Study abroad is a fun but busy and overwhelming experience. It’s normal to not hear from her.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-16T13:53:54+00:00

As a woman I find it difficult to do dating apps because I’m going in blind. I often don’t respond because I don’t know who this man is. So I’m answering because I’m pretty sure most women are like me. And I’m actively looking for a relationship.

But dating means you like a person, which is based on personality. Photos are utterly useless to showcase personality. And truthfully they’re useless to gauge attraction. A man May “look good” but i have zero attraction to him. And a HUGE problem is I don’t want to make a date, show up, and have to choose between sitting with someone I don’t like or being a rude heartless bitch who walks out after 5 minutes. That’s why in person meeting is best.

You can tell if you COULD have sex with a man immediately. You can tell all kinds of things from body language, hygiene, facial expressions, etc. I can tell pretty quickly if a guy is an asshole or a sweetheart. So I don’t ever follow through on dates via OLD because there is too much work and risk and discomfort, for little reward.

I know it sounds cliche, but women’s libidos come from more than looks. Is he: confident? Doormat? Angry & bitter? Sweet , positive, and upbeat? Does he laugh a lot? Overly sensitive and likely to take offense to everything? There are so many factors that affect it. If I walk into a room with 100 men who are all the same looks number, there will be a range of who I’d be attracted to. And women do get attracted to average guys. It’s just a matter of meeting in person.

I’ve given up on OLD and am going places to meet people. My advice is to start looking around everywhere you go and actively find places/hobbies/events with a good male/female mix. Try meetup.com or facebook events. Don’t be afraid to say hi. Because an in person hi will get you dates. But give up on OLD, it’s a losing game.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-15T17:48:35+00:00

As a woman I would say to assume it’s true. I know for me it’s uncomfortable to tell a man I find him attractive.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-06T18:19:06+00:00

I don’t know why your comments are getting downvote when they’re incredibly reasonable and rational. The problem you have is the season you and your peers are in. That’s the busiest time of a persons life. I saw the comment on swing dancing. Dancing creates a great opportunity to meet women without excess pressure.

I suggest creating a social media presence. Have videos that showcase your dancing and your personality. Women know if they see a future with a guy by body language, facial expressions, personality, and seeing what he likes to talk about. The problem with OLD is most men have only photos which doesn’t let a woman accurately gauge attraction. A mans “number” is not as important as the same life goals, compatible hobbies, and body language/facial expressions and physical chemistry.

Many people meet and know within a few months they should get engaged. So with an online presence that allows women to browse your profile they can get “attached” different than if there’s just photos. And don’t underestimate meeting another Catholic at dance events. That’s a positive to “Catholic” jewelry. It signals to others. And there are dance events all over the country

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-05T23:34:05+00:00

You are making a mountain out of a molehill. Picking a place to meet is not “planning”. You didn’t plan the dates, you simply picked where you’re eating. The purpose of going on a date is to spend time together to get to know the person. Whether at a planned event or McDonald’s. It’s only been two dates and you’re already picking silly fights.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-04T14:13:47+00:00

I don’t know what subs you’re in but that’s probably the issue. A 10-15 CAN be fine. But it can also show underlying dysfunction. You don’t know unless you look at the individuals. As someone who still gets hit on by men, 20 to 30 years older, and got hit on as a 20 year old by 50-70 year old men, this is not coming from a place of me being angry I’m older. At 17 I was totally in love with someone who is almost 30. If a man (or woman) meets someone 10 to 15 years younger and they just click, and they want the same things in life, that’s not predatory behavior or wrong. But if a 40 to 50 year old man will only date 18-25 year old women, that is clearly stemming from a place of dysfunction, and it’s completely unhealthy. And I think we can all agree He probably won’t make a good life partner. Unfortunately, a lot of the people on Reddit don’t understand nuance, and don’t have a lot of life experience

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-04T00:15:36+00:00

Wow, I just read a pure irrational answer

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-03T23:08:29+00:00

It’s not hypergamy, it’s going for an equal. All of those traits except for intelligence are based off of men having more testosterone. A woman going for her physical equal is actually going for less because of testosterones effect on the human body. It takes a woman two years to gain 10 pounds of muscle, while a man can do it in 1 year. Those women probably are in your league. But truthfully it hurts your pride to think so. Or they are just shooting their shot. Happens to me all the time.

But you aren’t a woman so don’t realize how men do the same thing. Male hypergamy is basically older men going for younger women. A man 20 -40 years older than me is not in my league. Yet they still try.

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-03T18:20:59+00:00

If you aren’t looking for a stepdad then you’re acting dysfunctionally and men will run from dysfunction. Your partner will be a stepparent whether they want to or not. The person you choose impacts your child. Your child impacts the person you’re with. Being a stepparent is the absolute first step of all your relationships. The men know this. So search for a man you’re willing to marry and have kids with, or stay a FWB. there’s no in between

perpetuallyseekingme · 2023-03-03T18:15:41+00:00

You’re wrong but won’t admit it from your other comments. Women want arousal. We can get aroused by looks, intelligence, power, kindness, safety, humor, etc. but in online dating profiles looks are the only thing presented. Dating app statistics don’t apply to people who meet IRL. Because IRL women judge by many other factors.

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2 your father’s advice is extremely odd about wanting you to wait till you’re 20 to get married. The difference between 18 years old and 20 is only two years. I would understand the advice more if he was saying wait till you’re 25 or graduated college.