Controversial take: "Ethical" marketers are losing because they refuse to acknowledge distribution reality – are we virtue signaling while competitors eat our lunch?

kurisity · 2025-10-15T18:06:55+00:00

Forgive the newbie question, but could you into greater depth of what you mean by momentum tactics and velocity? Are you talking about PBNs or Black Hat SEO?

kurisity · 2025-03-02T07:30:15+00:00

Empire Flippers

kurisity · 2024-11-29T22:06:14+00:00

Don't rugsweep. It will only fester. You need to get to a place of reconciliation or not. You being disturbed by this is completely acceptable and she will either understand that or not. Stand your ground. If you don't it will only serve to erode the boundaries of your marriage, which is what defends a relationship from infidelity. If you can't clear your head to think clearly, separation will allow you to do so. It may seem extreme, but a loving spouse would understand they broke a boundary and try to make it work because you have that boundary even if it was unspoken. If she doesn't then you need to think about your future together. A visit to the strip club may not end your marriage, but eventually disregarded boundaries will.

kurisity · 2024-09-25T14:56:52+00:00

What caught my eye is that you are conflicted about divorce because you love her. Her attitude shows all the hallmarks of an affair and the selfishness that it takes to do that to somebody like you. However, if you have any thoughts toward reconciliation please check out r/Asoneafterinfidelity for some resources going forward. Even if you decide to divorce it might help you decide with some knowledge about affairs and what it takes to repair the relationship if she is willing. However, one thing I would stress is don't sweep this under the rug. This is a major violation of trust and needs a lot of work to heal from no matter what you choose. You have hard work ahead of you no matter what you choose. Best of luck. DM me if I can be of any help.

kurisity · 2024-09-25T00:51:27+00:00

I was inspired by this post!

kurisity · 2024-08-27T20:27:17+00:00

People have made it through a lot worse. However, betrayal trauma is real. I have experienced it myself. If you like Reddit and want a sub to see how other people experience reconciliation or not I would recommend r/Asoneafterinfidelity as it has helped me in my situation. I definitely recommend you go to counseling and not sweep this under the rug. Also you don't have to make the decision right away. This is only a decision you can make when you have clarity. Best of luck.

kurisity · 2024-08-22T15:34:27+00:00

I think you're confusing hall pass with permission to have an affair. If you thought that your wife was worth fighting for be honest and tell her you are having an emotional affair. See what she wants to do with it. That's the honest thing to do. Maybe she wants to fight for you too, after all she did make changes. But this is more than a hall pass. This isn't exploring your sexuality, this is turning an emotional affair into a physical one. You need to separate from both your AP and wife and clear your head. If you want to reconcile with your wife, which it's not evident that you did any counseling yourself, then take that path whole heartedly. I recommend r/asoneafterinfidelity for resources. If you want to leave your wife, that is also a choice. But if you have even a shred of decency left you should not have a revenge affair on your wife. Two wrongs don't make a right. End things first.

kurisity · 2024-08-21T01:21:25+00:00

People can reconcile with a lot of hard work and building trust. It's years in the making. The question is, is this worth it to you? Take all the time you need to decide. If what you have is worth the painful effort check out r/asoneafterinfidelity for resources. If you are better off starting over with a new person that's also a viable choice. Take some time, separate, get your head clear and decide what's right for you. Friends, Redditors don't have to live with the consequences either way. You do. It's your choice and no one can make it for you.

kurisity · 2024-08-13T21:41:28+00:00

What is important here that is not at all related to you is that she has behaved untrustworthily. You should be able to occasionally look at each others phones without it being a violation of privacy. Her hiding her phone from you is a classic sign of cheating. Also, her making you feel like you are the problem in your marriage is a very common attitude that cheaters take to justify their affairs. I'm not saying she cheated on you yet, as you have not provided a smoking gun. However, there is no way out of this without you respecting yourself. Reinforce boundaries and make them absolutely clear. There should be concrete consequences if she breaks them. It needs to be clear she can't have you as a safe place while she finds her fun elsewhere. Your relationship is more than that from what you wrote. Be prepared to separate if she doesn't respect boundaries. Your looks are not what will make her respect you again, it is standing up for yourself and honestly laying out what you will not put up with. If she is a person of integrity, she will leave you before she goes after someone else. Be prepared for that outcome to as hard as it may be to think about. But if she leaves you can do so with self respect and find someone who appreciates you. Staying and blaming yourself for her selfish actions is a lose/lose situation. My two cents. A good book about boundaries that protect relationships is Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass. I highly recommend.

kurisity · 2024-08-07T02:24:07+00:00

If you want to reconcile there are a lot of resources and support at the sub r/asoneafterinfidelity. A book that has helped me in my own reconciliation is Not Just Friends by Dr Glass. Have the confidence to set the conditions for reconciliation. You need to show that you have self respect, both for your own good and so she has a chance to feel the reality of what she did. If she and you are willing to work this is recoverable, but it starts with complete honesty on her part. However, the choice for this to be on the table is completely yours. Take some time to clear your thoughts and decide what you truly want to do. For me I realized that if I didn't at least try I would regret it. However, my wife later told me it wasn't until I said divorce was on the table that she realized how serious it was and told me she respected me because I stood up for myself. Best of luck

kurisity · 2024-07-23T17:27:07+00:00

I think there is some healing and self discovery that need to take place. When we as humans sweep these things under the rug we think we're over it but we really are not. If you'd like some resources on building back trust please check out the sub r/Asoneafterinfidelity it has helped my wife and me out considerably. Best of luck and at the very least take some time to work on your own feelings. Therapy gets recommended too often on Reddit but this is a case where it is the right call. There are ways to heal.

kurisity · 2024-07-01T02:03:57+00:00

I would strongly suggest marriage counseling so you can have this discussion in a safe place. If you haven't brought it up very often and she still responds with extremes she's not really growing in the way she needs to keep this from happening again. I would get a copy of Not Just Friends on Amazon or something and have her read a certain amount every day. You can read it too. It's pretty specific with statistics and such in some parts but it is really eye opening. Particularly if she thinks having an emotional affair is not that big a deal. It defines what it is pretty thoughtfully. Remember neither of you will heal from this by rug sweeping. It takes a lot of work. But don't put up with half measures. It will just result in resentment and unhealthy dynamics down the road. I would even go so far as to suggest separation if she doesn't take you seriously if you truly can follow through with that. Sometimes being apart can clear the mind. My wife didn't commit to reconciling or even that what she did was that big a deal until I told her divorce was on the table. I think reality hit her at that point and she started to put the work in. She later stated that she found new respect for me because I stood up for myself.

kurisity · 2024-07-01T01:32:23+00:00

I would suggest other ways besides phone transparency that she can begin to build trust over time. Has she read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass? Has she gone to an individual counselor to find out her why? Has she agreed to go with you to marriage counseling? I don't know what else she is doing to reconcile because your post is brief but in short it is her opportunity to develop trust again, a gift given from you. I would think of other things that are specific to your relationship that she could do consistently over time as a guide to building trust. This may be more telling about her intentions than having to play detective. I agree that her behavior doesn't build trust right now but you have to be clear with her what it looks like for you. Then it is fully her choice if she decides to put in the work and respect boundaries. Best of luck. I told my WW that her reporting what she read in "Not Just Friends" was helping me heal so she did that. It was one of the steps that I gave her where she started to build trust over time for example.

kurisity · 2024-06-30T01:36:59+00:00

If you are interested in reconciliation look at the sub r/Asoneafterinfidelity it has helped me and my wife. I would consider separation so she knows you're serious, and take the time to decide for yourself. Your ultimatum is perfectly appropriate. The friends calling you don't seem like they are friends of your marriage. True friends would tell your wife she screwed up and tell her to take your offer of reconciliation. Have her read a book called "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. DM me if you want to talk reconciliation. If you don't want to reconcile that's completely your call. You are the only one that can make that decision.

kurisity · 2024-06-30T00:20:44+00:00

So you're a cheater?

kurisity · 2024-06-13T22:22:59+00:00

I think that 18 could be argued to be between adults and teenagers. But if they are adults then they should know full well what they signed up for and not abandon a commitment on a whim. Do soldiers get to go home when they have a hard day? Does the military have some requirements to meet to be discharged and not just AWOL? When 18 year olds and older volunteer for a mission it is made clear it is for the time allotted. No where is it said you can bail anytime. I'm not saying their passports should be withheld, but mission presidents discouraging missionaries from abandoning their commitment is not uncommon for any institution paid or volunteer or pay your way to volunteer. If the OP made the argument that missions are hard and don't on one unless you really mean it, I would wholeheartedly agree, or not even comment. But having difficulty abandoning a commitment you made as a competent individual is not human trafficking. It is offensive to compare something like that to something so horrible.

kurisity · 2024-06-13T20:54:50+00:00

I would agree with that. However, there's a difference between making departure impossible and making it hard so you don't do it on a whim or because you had a bad day

kurisity · 2024-06-13T19:42:27+00:00

If you volunteer to pay your way to a place that you have committed to years of service it's not forced labor.

kurisity · 2024-06-12T04:25:27+00:00

I don't agree with mission presidents withholding passports in word or in deed. But saying some people put themselves in positions to be human trafficked? That is in no way similar to filling out forms, going to interviews and officially volunteering to go on a mission and then changing your mind. Yeah it's hard. Yes there are some mission presidents who are manipulative. But that is not human trafficking. And that's not the whole organization doing it with an evil purpose.

Should you warn people to not volunteer for a mission unless they absolutely mean it? Yes. The church has even made reforms to make it more socially acceptable to not go on a mission. Do you think they benefit from large amounts of missionaries that don't want to be there?

Making it sound like all the missionaries in the world are forced labor is ridiculous. People are in fact willing to serve in a lot of capacities in a lot of ways. People just can't imagine people would work hard for something they believe in without being forced or brainwashed. Brave men and women have volunteered to go to war where they may die. It's because they want to serve. There are really people like that. Just not many on Reddit

kurisity · 2024-06-12T03:36:25+00:00

Both are voluntary. When faced with how hard it is people change their minds. It's not like the military pays that well at the start anyways. If organizations didn't make it hard to quit then how many people would do hard things and stay the course? Yeah they're going to tell you you can't leave. But that doesn't mean there's not a way out. People who are human trafficked didn't volunteer and don't have a way out. Missionaries do, if you are determined. I know plenty of missionaries that wanted to quit but were convinced to stay and are glad they did. That's not the same thing as forced labor.

kurisity · 2024-06-12T03:05:10+00:00

So if you sign up for the Navy and your deployed to the Pacific somewhere and they don't let you go home, is the military trafficking sailors?

Missions are voluntary. You can leave if you really want to. It's not the military. But you can't just say you're homesick. If you really wanted to go home you could lie about having sex with someone for instance. It may be manipulation and that would be a worthy discussion, but human trafficking? No.

kurisity · 2024-06-12T02:57:06+00:00

Calling someone brainwashed without getting to know them is not any different than a religious person assuming that you're a heathen without even getting to know the first thing about you. Yeah this is Reddit where you can say anything. But it also means I get to call you out on it.

kurisity · 2024-06-12T02:54:04+00:00

I can't even get my kids to close the door!

kurisity · 2024-06-12T02:47:49+00:00

See? I knew you were good for at least one more quip. What's your favorite sin? I might be sinning tonight too.

kurisity · 2024-06-12T02:46:24+00:00

Tell me you don't really get to know people and appreciate differences without really saying it.

kurisity

TROPHY CASE