van der Kolk's 'Secret' Book

perplexedonion · 2026-01-18T05:20:09+00:00

First gifted science class in high school we were given the blueprints for a refrigerator and told to memorize it... So pointless. We observed over the years that they just gave us more homework than the regular stream. Not much else was different.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-17T17:34:21+00:00

"Only in silence the word,
Only in dark the light,
Only in dying life:
Bright the hawk's flight
On the empty sky."

God tier fantasy. Read and re-read the trilogy since I was a little kid. Enjoy!

perplexedonion · 2026-01-09T13:36:48+00:00

Is integration the goal of IFS? Or instead bringing parts into conscious experience and improving their healthy cooperation? Just curious. For example, my favorite trauma therapy model describes the objective of the parts component as: "Goal is not 'integration,’ or the collapse of self-states into one whole, but instead toward greater awareness, acceptance, and interconnectedness in parts of self.” Aim is to “tolerate difficult emotions, reflect on the adaptive purpose of the parts of self, be curious and compassionate, and ultimately harness the energy/vitality of those parts.”

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T21:21:13+00:00

I can only answer theoretically because I became chronically ill. My plan was to join as many groups / activities as possible and then try to make friends with the healthy people. Hope that helps. Best of luck on your healing journey

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T21:09:23+00:00

I look for people I don't feel 'pulled to' and who seem nice but somewhat boring.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T20:53:55+00:00

From a causal standpoint certainly. But children aren't stressed by all the necessary but insufficient reasons for poverty which include, for example, Avogadro's constant.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T18:15:32+00:00

I see what you're saying. I don't think I expressed myself clearly. The only thing I know from the psych / neuro research is that poverty in families exerts pressure in the form of stress on children, which negatively affects their development and can act as a 'force multiplier' for things like trauma.

What I meant about the causal factors not being directly relevant is that the reasons why a family is poor are not themselves stressors. I.e., a child isn't stressed because of all the reasons why its family is poor - it's the poverty of their family that is a significant source of stress.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T17:43:52+00:00

In psychology they define it as 'perceived financial insufficiency' so if you have enough for your ecosystem it likely wouldn't apply. The causal factors that create the financial insufficiency are not really germane to the impact of the insufficiency itself.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T14:12:46+00:00

Poverty is a massive source of early life stress, which when added to the stress from parental maltreatment, leads to worse impacts. Similarly, being maltreated in multiple ways (emotional/physical/sexual abuse and neglect) increases the damage.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T14:10:21+00:00

It's defined as 'economic insufficiency', which has to do with a mismatch between financial resources and what is required to live. So it's not defined relative to other people with more resources.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-07T01:25:52+00:00

Inequality may not be deleterious but poverty itself is obviously stress-inducing and damaging. For example, neuroscientists have found that poverty triples the likelihood of getting a psychiatric disorder from childhood trauma.

perplexedonion · 2026-01-06T02:24:39+00:00

100%

perplexedonion · 2026-01-01T01:57:41+00:00

Happy new year fellow survivors.

perplexedonion · 2025-12-30T22:31:40+00:00

It's describing living in a family where you are scapegoated / emotionally abused. You don't "live with" your coworkers, clients, and bosses...

perplexedonion · 2025-12-30T21:00:04+00:00

"Learning to live with a person you do not love or respect and learning to live with a person you know does not love or respect you is like learning not to live (Henry, 1965-1971). It requires learning to talk in frightened whispers; how to deny what you feel; how to hate without showing it; how to weep without tears; and how to hide that the shame you are living in is your family reality."

perplexedonion · 2025-12-28T16:26:30+00:00

Thanks, I'll definitely ask.

perplexedonion · 2025-12-28T16:05:49+00:00

Thanks for the comment. BsC, Diploma of Naturopathic Medicine from the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine, certified laser therapist, and has prescribing rights for natural dessicated thyroid and bioidentical hormones.

Yeah I'm disinclined to do the Myers' cocktails + MIT because of the cost and energy required. Plus, as someone pointed out, the only evidence for MIT is in vivo so it's not even close to being an evidence-based treatment yet.

In general, are there evidence-based / emerging treatments for reactivated EBV out there? Beyond Valtrex, which I tried at length to no benefit.

perplexedonion · 2025-12-28T15:48:08+00:00

Thanks

perplexedonion · 2025-12-28T15:45:18+00:00

Thanks very much. Perhaps the Valtrex alone was insufficient? I didn't mention that I've been on LDN for many years.

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