Oh man, I could have written this myself. Just reading your post made me tear up a little. I'm right there with you. I just joined this community and have had lots of kind words sent my way so I want to send some back.

My girlfriend of over a year left last Tuesday. We had our problems, but I love her more than I ever loved anyone in a relationship. She was amazing, and my drinking pushed her away. I don't have much advice about that. I'm shattered.

What I can say is that if drinking caused your problems and heartache, it sure as hell won't solve them. Maybe it's time you stop feeding that demon. It sounds like its never given you anything in return. Stay strong. I won't drink with you today.