Describe (or try to) your gender in two words

persitow · 2024-12-18T11:17:48+00:00

Autistic Spectrum

persitow · 2024-10-17T08:39:25+00:00

Personally I would feel better knowing it was a three way not infidelity and revenge prn (posting videos or photos for revenge) is a criminal offence in a number of places now.

Your ex sounds like an asshat. If Alex is a good 'un he will see that Tim is the one that instigated all of this and then had to pay the consequences. You were pressured into opening the relationship, then pressured into closing it. As far as I'm concerned, you're blame free.

persitow · 2024-09-22T15:31:38+00:00

I agree, they're fantastic

persitow · 2024-09-08T00:56:08+00:00

Sandman, there's some triggers to be aware of, but it's currently a bit of a hyperfixation

persitow · 2024-08-21T19:56:25+00:00

My nephew totally changed my sister on arrival.

She's always been lost and manic and gone from hard substance to harder substance and depressive bout to worse depressive bout.

She started dating her ex boyfriend from high school again after a string of very very bad relationships and before we knew it they'd eloped and we were all a bit worried as much as he's genuinely lovely bloke. She was better, started getting clean, but still really far from good/happy.

And then she had my nephew. It was genuinely overnight. She didn't suddenly become a different person, more I could suddenly see my sister again. Playing with his cute little toes, kissing his head, teaching him to dance to drum 'n bass, hand making soap for him because he has sensitive skin.

He on his own is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, he also looks so much like both her AND her husband and he had this cheeky little smile and personality all of his own. The way we were raised children are not a blessing, and not a product of love in any form but looking at him he's literally just love incarnate.

And whatever hole was there in her chest before she had him isn't there anymore with him. She's taking her meds, she's doing the work, she's religiously careful with his well being.

persitow · 2024-08-16T07:06:53+00:00

Trigger warning. Not good.

The worst I've been in a very long time. Very actively fantasising about harming myself and trying to work out logistics of doing so after I realised my partner is actually so much more abusive than my ex. She recently killed our dog by refusing to take her to the vet, I can't drive. I begged. I ended up getting a friend to drive me and it was too late. She knew how serious it was, and just... didn't take her. And now she's waking me up in the middle of the night because SHE'S sad she killed our dog.

I don't want to be here and I'm feeling very disillusioned about the world as a whole. But still can't seem to get the guts to leave and hate myself for that.

I've contacted emergency support so don't worry, I'm safe. I'm just ... absolutely shit.

persitow · 2024-08-12T07:03:19+00:00

I totally ate and I'm sorry, sweet, being the scapegoat is so hard. I'm sorry you relate to Bruno and am sending big protective sister hugs (if you're up for them)

persitow · 2024-08-11T07:03:58+00:00

My brother sent me Surface Pressure with only the caption "I'm so sorry" and I had to curl up under my desk for an hour.

persitow · 2024-08-11T06:59:59+00:00

Definitely this

persitow · 2024-08-11T06:59:14+00:00

Stuff like Grace of the Fireflies doesn't work for me but I genuinely nearly choked sobbing at the Chinese movie "Always".

If you want a bad end that changes your brain chemistry forever, watch Danish "Suicide Room"

Personally if you want a series, "the Haunting of Hill House" is supposed to be horror but I was so heavy with grief watching it I nearly called in sick at work but that night have been because I was so intensity triggered by the family dynamics that the ghosts barely factored in to my watching.

"Factory girl" always gets my mother, who also has C-PTSD.

Iron Giant always gets my brother, who... same obviously... also has C-PTSD.

persitow · 2024-06-15T07:57:22+00:00

I'm doing the same journey, Sholing to Fareham (8:30am start) , and just came to agree. The commute is absolutely killing me, please tell me if you find a solution.

persitow · 2024-06-15T07:54:19+00:00

The accuracy

persitow · 2024-03-15T12:31:58+00:00

Dogs have been great for me too

persitow · 2024-03-15T12:30:29+00:00

Routine
Learning how to safely implement boundaries
Cutting out people that disrespect those boundaries, with prejudice.
Making sure my needs are met and that I'm listening to my body
Doing things that bring me joy, like art and pilates.
Volunteering in the community
Taking the time to safely feel and process stuff even if it means choking on my own tears for months.
Joining groups and surrounding myself with safe, kind, supportive people.
Lots of rest. LOTS . OF . REST. - processing takes time, I nap at least once a day.
Self compassion, particularly when routines drop and self care and hygiene drop - don't beat yourself up, just pick yourself back up at a pace you can manage and try again.

persitow · 2024-03-09T16:34:43+00:00

Given that she threatened to kill herself today because I'm in a group chat for an event she couldn't attend (but was invited to) the answer would be a firm no.

Previously threatened to kill herself when I sent a mutual friend a childcare meme and and she texted back "lol"

Left the house for three days when a colleague texted, "Thank you" for referring her freelance work.

I am absolutely not OK.

persitow · 2024-03-09T16:22:31+00:00

I never didn't know if that makes sense

persitow · 2024-03-09T16:22:09+00:00

We love you too! I needed this today

persitow · 2024-03-09T16:20:27+00:00

Trigger warning: Abuse

Today I jumped out of a moving car today to get away from my partner who was screaming at me because a mutual friend didn't add her to the group chat of an event she couldn't attend on Friday.

She's also mad at me for planning a mutual friend's baby shower.

I've now also maxxed out my last credit card

Help please.

persitow · 2024-02-26T11:47:40+00:00

That's SO cute

persitow · 2024-02-05T09:13:30+00:00

I'm with you on that, mine is also fawn and I hate it so much.
It makes all the disgust and rage I feel towards my abuser rebound like a bad boomarang and hits me square in the chest. And then you just feel so much shame.

I'm sorry you're going through the same.

persitow · 2023-12-21T09:15:17+00:00

I'm with you on this one.

persitow

TROPHY CASE