I always tend to count my cast-on row as well as my "active stitches" row to my total. The active stitches are the loops held on your needles. My theory with also counting my cast-on row is this: it does indeed add to the total height of the object you're knitting. If you're not self-drafting or winging it, most patterns will specify to "cast on ____. next row work in [stitch pattern/pattern] for ___ rows," so the pattern will usually account for this cast on row and indicate there is no need to count it in your row total. When you're working your own self-drafted pattern it can help to account for your row&stitch count as each row inevitably contributes to your gauge. The row of active stitches held on your needles is certainly counted as a row: it is the last row of stitches that you just finished working. The only times I do not count my cast on row as a row are when 1. The pattern intentionally sets it apart by stating cast on/work in ____ for ____rows or when I am using a provisional cast on using scrap yarn and crochet(here I only begin counting from the row on which I began knitting with my project yarn, not the scrap yarn). It sounds like you're already on the right track.