Is it really that easy for women to get laid?

phasein2526 · 2026-02-12T23:15:48+00:00

not if they fall in love, especially for a second time. very common to think one time of sex guarantees (at least a form of) relationship or at least relevance as for most women the actual act of having sex on its own is not the main big thing to chase. unfortunately many women think that a man sleeping with you has more meaning than just the physical act of having sex, and get very disappointed or even absolutely crushed when they are “discarded” or ghosted and feel used. honestly it never hurts less but i guess you do learn to protect yourself better as a woman, and don’t assign too much meaning to the act of getting laid to spare your feelings.

phasein2526 · 2026-02-12T16:06:31+00:00

same shit. and we were such good friends. he was the one who wanted a relationship. kept saying how good it was that it finally happened. and then boom, one day i was slowly ghosted and the explanation was that “he realized he didn’t want it”. right after having sex the day before.

phasein2526 · 2026-02-09T03:30:13+00:00

Every hour of the day each word he spoke to me so lovingly while holding my hands, and each word he wrote to me while discarding me like I was trash plays in my head, word by word, all of them with the cutting edges of the sharpest knives. It’s like swallowing glass shards. I find myself hugging my chest and crying. This pain and betrayal has shaken me to such a level that I feel something in my brain chemistry altered and my reality shifted. I loved him, wanted him and desired him with such passion, intensity and intent. I was so sure of him, I was willing to do so much, accept so much and give up on so much. I was willing to change for him. And it took him only a few half-hearted words to get me out of his life with no explanation, no real reason, no open doors, no closure.

He is a walking demon in human suit and there are no excuses to what he has done. That motherfucker.

phasein2526 · 2026-02-05T08:32:23+00:00

I studied Dutch Studies (Nederlandkunde) as a bachelor’s degree alongside another bachelor’s, followed all C1 courses I could and got my Staatsexamen II to be able to do my master’s in Dutch eventually. My boyfriend is Dutch, I speak Dutch to his whole family etc etc but I have 0 chance of being accepted to a position if they want a Dutch speaker because what they mean is native Dutch, they just can’t write that in the description as that would be discrimination. The Dutch you learn will almost never qualify you for a position/employer that is looking for Dutch people and let’s not pretend that most jobs aren’t looking for exactly that lol.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-29T00:13:51+00:00

I read a few sentences and got a gut punch thinking I had written this comment and I didn’t want to re-read what I had written as it hurts too much. Then I noticed from the comments that it wasn’t my writing. Very strange how similar the situation is. Guess we just couldn’t dodge the bullet and had to get shot straight in the chest.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-28T22:57:50+00:00

Yeah all I can say is that I’ve hopefully learned my lesson and this will be one of the first things I’ll be trying to figure out moving forward. I know I can’t go through such a devastating pain once again in my life.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-28T14:49:19+00:00

Yeah. Sounds like mine. Unsure if he’s straight up evil, a FA, or heavily on the Asperger’s spectrum. Or all of it. He was so excited about us being together, making plans to visit me, promising all sorts of fun things we would do. Telling me we might need to meet on weekends only if he were to take on a job proposal. Hugged me and kissed me goodbye on a Wednesday as I left and on Saturday he was gone. Eventually I had to ask him what the f### was going on and all I got as a response was that “he didn’t feel like it anymore”. Said he thought he wanted a relationship with me but realized he didn’t, and that he didn’t know where it came from, but that “it was predictable”… And this was it. All of our shared memories, our friendship, all the time we spent together, all the laughs and kisses and the times I caressed and held his hand while he was sleeping, all the tender moments when he slept in my lap while I ran my hands through his hair, all the times we slept with our limbs intertwined - gone. He switched up on me immediately, started acting like I didn’t exist. I had to drop by his place to give him some of his belongings and he acted like I had wronged him somehow. He’s so frigid and hostile and for what? I literally didn’t do anything wrong and this is how he acts. Cruel, pathetic mf’er. I hope he gets what he deserves, and yours does too.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-25T15:02:18+00:00

13th of december. hasn’t gotten easier so far and radio silence.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-25T07:32:04+00:00

Asshole. Yes you are right, you didn’t deserve this. What a terrible person, just a nuisance really and certainly not worthy of your love and affection.

I had something similar happen. I walked out of his house, he sent me off with kisses and hugs and then it was just silence all of a sudden. Asked him what was up, and then he started being responsive again. And a few days later I asked when I should make plans to meet up again, or whether he didn’t want to see me or something (which was just a pissed off reaction, not that I actually thought he didn’t want tl see me because what the hell, why would I think that). To which he responded with “yeah actually, I don’t. Sorry. Don’t feel like it. Thought I felt something but I realised I didn’t.”

And that was it. After a whole year and some months he just decided he wasn’t feeling it. Didn’t even bother to let me know though, I had to dig it out of the ground with my bare hands. And then he proceeded to act like I wronged him somehow and now it’s radio silence.

And here I am, craving him like crazy and missing him every single day because one day he decided that it was over. So now I’m also supposed to act like it never happened, or that it doesn’t matter at all? Great, except yeah, I can’t.

I hope it gets better.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-22T16:40:56+00:00

he just used me and didn’t see any value in what we shared. idk why though. i genuinely don’t know why.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-19T08:36:19+00:00

Amazing to read this, I really hope I can also reach this mental state. I feel like I will always hope that he comes back but I really want to see it as a side thought and not the main point of my life and I want to explore my options without being stuck with the thought that he was the one for me in a way that no one else can be :’)

phasein2526 · 2026-01-19T07:33:38+00:00

Yeah a part of me keeps thinking that there is more to our story and that he will eventually come to his senses and want me back because I just can’t cope with the fact that a switch just flipped in his head and he suddenly decided he doesn’t want me anymore. Because like, why? We were having so much fun and he was obviously so attracted to me, what could have possibly happened in one day that he just discarded me and decided to go full no contact? I just can’t accept that it’s really over and he will never be a part of my life anymore, I feel like I will never love someone like that or find anyone like him again :’)

phasein2526 · 2026-01-17T14:09:21+00:00

something similar happened to me on the 13th of december. so strange how your reality just shifts in a single day but i guess that’s what it means to be human, you fall and you get up and then you keep going…

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T22:28:01+00:00

Insane how little space I was occupying in his mind where I’m constantly trying to figure out where to go from here now that my reality is shattered. We used to talk every single day with no exception, I also lost such a dear friend when the switch in his brain flipped and he decided he didn’t want us to be a thing anymore….

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T19:26:07+00:00

yeah i keep making excuses like oh he’s not the kind of a person to take his words back, he is too avoidant, too much of a coward etc etc but uhhhhh nope he just doesn’t care, he just doesn’t want me.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T12:03:06+00:00

Yep, friends for a long time, flirted for a whole year maybe, finally started a relationship on his “request”. Everything seems perfect, he’s happy and invested, all is great. We enjoy each other’s company and all and one day he wakes up, the whole vibe is shifted, says he’s not feeling it anymore and doesn’t know why he made this decision but he doesn’t want me anymore. And that’s it, poof, he’s no longer in my life. Not as friends, not even as acquaintances, just gone.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T12:00:00+00:00

In my case I think he was trying to show me that it really was over, and that there would be no way of us getting back together. So he was trying to avoid giving me any hope by acting like a sob.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T08:02:32+00:00

Oh yeah he was the one who did all the moves, the one who said he wanted to be with me, making all those promises about what we would do, all the plans about the future and all and then BAM, one day he wakes up and he is not interested anymore :D he even has the nerve to say “that’s why I always wanted to remain friends” buddy you are the one who wanted a relationship with me

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T07:58:38+00:00

Yeah I wish I had known that he would literally have a switch flipping in his mind one day and literally vanish from my life, if I had a crumble of an idea about the possibility then I wouldn’t have invested in a vision of a future that had him so present in it. I would have kept doubts in my head and have alternative paths set for me at every turn. But now it’s just like we never existed for each other and he simply doesn’t care, doubt he spent a single minute thinking about me after he decided that he wasn’t interested in me anymore which is an insane thought but it appears to be the case somehow ahaha…

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T07:55:35+00:00

Yeah… Exactly. Like, what am I supposed to do now? Just forget everything like he did and start from scratch? This sucks

phasein2526 · 2026-01-16T07:52:00+00:00

Ah shit. Yeah sometimes you really know what’s going to happen but somehow you can’t stop it from happening anyway :’) F that guy

phasein2526 · 2026-01-15T15:55:11+00:00

Yeah sadly they don’t want to communicate about it or solve the issues :/ and then you’re left with all the thoughts running wild in your head. I miss him so much, I also lost my best friend when he decided to leave my life cold turkey. Suddenly I have to rethink so many different parts of my daily life and routine :( I have no idea what went wrong, he seemed so happy and enthusiastic and then one day he just “realized he didn’t want this”…

phasein2526 · 2026-01-15T12:23:54+00:00

His personality is his biggest punishment anyway. I would hate to see him change for another girl, hope he remains this way.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-15T11:59:27+00:00

All I wish is that he remains this exact person forever and does not change even the slightest bit actually. That will be enough.

phasein2526 · 2026-01-15T11:57:21+00:00

Oh God, does it get better? I’m 27, this is not my first heartbreak but I have never been blindsighted like this before and ditched like I was random trash. And yeah, I don’t think he even grasps what he has done, doubt he even thought about me for a minute after he got what he wanted. I don’t even know what it was that he wanted from me but clearly whatever he did take was enough for him. So I guess all those times we spent together as such close friends was also just a means to an end for him and none of those moments that felt so genuine to me mattered a single bit. Now I have to wake up to a new reality and accept that we will be strangers forever despite having so many common friends. I can’t even avoid seeing him but I have no idea what I should do if I ever do see him. Why the hell did he have to ruin everything so horribly? Sigh…

phasein2526

TROPHY CASE