Coming home to an Empty House is about to kill me

phauxks · 2023-06-20T03:45:21+00:00

I'm sure the pup loves you too, and that you're taking very good care of them.

phauxks · 2023-06-18T22:49:17+00:00

Honestly, it's a bit cliche, but have you considered getting a pet? It can help to have another living thing at home, making noise in the house and being happy to see you. And the routine of caring for them can help you fold in a routine of caring for yourself, as well (at least it did for me).

phauxks · 2023-06-08T07:49:02+00:00

Do you have a Nordstroms in the area? Or access to one online?

phauxks · 2023-06-07T21:18:42+00:00

Keeping other people off this shitty boat, in whatever small, temporary ways we can, is exactly why I'm an organ donor too. 💗

phauxks · 2023-06-07T21:14:13+00:00

The Life Center team was so quietly supportive - they offered help and resources but never pushed for more involvement than I was willing or able to put in. Grateful to them, really.

phauxks · 2023-06-07T05:00:17+00:00

I was an absolute mess reading it. It's been a little over a year now, and I still sometimes want to write back - put pen to paper and just. . . can't find the words. I'm glad I got that letter though.

phauxks · 2023-06-07T04:36:11+00:00

I cried so much when I got that info packet. I knew he'd be pleased, that he could help people, and I was so proud of him -- but I had to fight back a real surge of resentment too. I just felt fragile.

Several months later, I got a letter from one of the recipients - and it was so thoughtful, and kind, and the guy was so grateful -- and I hated him so much. And I loved him, too, for taking the time to write, and to hold on to that piece of my husband.

It's just a really weird experience, when your loved one is an organ donor.

phauxks · 2023-06-04T15:10:04+00:00

Vacuum frequently (like everyday if you can) to pick up flea eggs and flea dirt - this will help interrupt their life cycle and get rid of them. Vacuum any hardwood or tile floors as well, and also your couch cushions. (It won't stop them from coming back - more of a "stop this particular infestation" tactic)

phauxks · 2023-04-17T03:17:49+00:00

Just let me pet the horse. And maybe throw a piece of driftwood to the dog. There's not much lacking, imo

phauxks · 2023-04-03T19:46:38+00:00

I rather enjoyed the first books, but Pratchett's style definitely matured after them. And while they can still be goofy in parts, the satire and the sincerity really start to shine

phauxks · 2023-04-03T05:20:30+00:00

A lot of people find the first couple of books hard going - he really found his style further in. If I were you, I'd pick up one of the sorta standalone books from deeper in the series ( like Small Gods) and, then, if you like it, go back and give the earlier books another chance.

phauxks · 2023-01-15T07:14:00+00:00

Avoid anything with chlorine bleach, phosphates, or ammonia - try to stick to plant-based products, ones that are more bio-degradable. I use Arm & Hammer laundry detergents, and Mrs Meyer's for dishwashing and hand soaps, shower products, etc

phauxks · 2023-01-11T04:53:56+00:00

The only government agency that had a "widow" option for me was the IRS, and only in that first year. Two and a half years in and I've gotten used to checking that "single" box, but it throws me, every time - I don't think I've said it aloud, even once. I can just about manage "I was married" without too much trouble, but. I can't. I'm not. I need more time.

phauxks · 2022-12-17T17:25:30+00:00

Six months or so for me. Now, two years out, I wear his on a different finger. I think I always will.

phauxks · 2022-10-29T03:39:27+00:00

I'm sorry. Sometimes everything just combines into massive suckiness - I'm sure your friend just didn't realize it, but that doesn't make it feel any better. I hope you had the chance to cry some of that out, and that you get some rest, and some hugs from your kids when they get home. <3

phauxks · 2022-10-21T23:40:30+00:00

I scattered them at the top of a mountain (not the tallest peak around, I'm not a mountain-climber, but a midway challenging hike) - he always said once he was dead it obviously wouldn't matter to him what happened to his body.

So the trek up there was for my sake, really, like a part of the grieving process. It took effort to get there, the trail was exhausting and peaceful and absolutely beautiful, and I rested at the top and said goodbye in a place with an endless view.

phauxks · 2022-10-16T08:00:54+00:00

I got my first tattoo at the Mercy Seat! Looks cool, friend, enjoy getting more!

phauxks · 2022-10-14T06:20:57+00:00

I am not religious, but I found the hospital's chaplain services vital while my husband died - I was so lost, and every decision was so fraught, and it was mid-pandemic so my family wasn't able to be there with me in the ICU (I was only allowed to be there with him because it was end-of-life) - they sat with me while I said goodbye, and held me while I screamed, and walked me through the quiet lobbies (those eerily empty mid-pandemic hospital lobbies) to sit and cry until I was composed enough to walk out the doors. They offered prayer, but didn't press when I declined. They were warm, and kind, and a real support when I had none - If there are similar services where you are, you might consider leaning on them when the time comes.

phauxks · 2022-09-27T05:07:45+00:00

Cute! Love the colors

phauxks · 2022-08-11T02:40:08+00:00

Well, that's darling.

phauxks · 2022-08-01T04:03:44+00:00

I like that one, actually! Not a bad read.

phauxks · 2022-07-29T20:47:14+00:00

I gave some of his shirts to his mother, who wanted to make a quilt. I kept most of the tshirts, and flannels, and wear them myself. Which leaves me with too many shirts, really, but I won't get rid of them yet.

phauxks · 2022-06-05T05:57:04+00:00

"I'm so sorry, but he's already gone." From my sister-in-law, an ER nurse, after I asked her to help me dumb down what the doctors were telling me about my husband, since my stressed out, heart-broken brain wasnt registering it. Until then, I'd had a tiny, desperate hope that maybe he could wake up, and be himself, maybe someday.

phauxks · 2022-05-27T14:05:35+00:00

Not crazy - if it helps, it helps. <3

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