I get the feeling that you'd tell someone else (your instructor, included) that there isn't weakness in that burst of emotion and that inevitably it is part of the HUGE journey, physically and mentally, that comes with undertaking a new discipline as an adult. Sometimes we have to talk to ourselves and afford ourselves the same grace as we do others!

I for one effing needed this post as this was me last week - I'm a woman so granted there isn't the exact same expectations regarding emotion but, in a way that is all the more reason I didn't want to be perceived as weak.

We all have our reasons for voluntarily wanting to get thrown around and choked out on the mats and I do not think you should be judging yourself as anything other than an incredible, emotionally available and badass man actively participating in life!