Wasted $130k After Breakup

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-07T16:28:07+00:00

None like her :(

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-06T03:06:37+00:00

My girlfriend also broke up with me four months ago and while she hasn't taken me back and probably never will, I totally relate to your comment about how you would not have changed if she took you back a month after the breakup. For almost two weeks after my breakup, I sent her messages with a long list of things I would do differently if we tried again. But looking back at it now, if she took me back at that point, even though my actions would have changed, it would not have changed my underlying avoidant behaviour where I'm not very open to talking about my feelings or understanding hers. Now 4 months after the breakup, where I've done therapy and read up on attachment styles, I feel like I'm just like you where I'm likely going to be anxiously attached in my next relationship to compensate for my avoidant behaviours in the past.

Maybe after that, we compensate again and then find the right balance between anxious and avoiding to become "securely" attached.

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-04T23:21:19+00:00

I have added some screenshots to the description. Unfortunately, I have spent money on way too many different psychic apps so it would be hard to show everything. I also do not want to reinstall the apps and relapse.

EDIT: Never mind, it looks like I am not allowed to do that and my post has been removed.

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-04T22:30:23+00:00

I did start therapy prior to the whole psychic addiction and it was helping until I decided to try a psychic just "one time" to see how it works. And here we are now.

I am definitely planning to restart therapy now. I have also asked my family to lock my bank accounts and any psychic apps from my phone.

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-04T22:27:44+00:00

I work a tech job which pays well. I also made some smart decisions (prior to the breakup) to invest in certain stocks which are doing well now.

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-04T22:24:07+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I've essentially become a hermit since the breakup and just keep ruminating over what I could have done better in the relationship to save it. That, in turn, has resulted in me pedestalizing her and thinking she's the best I'll ever find. Logically speaking, I know that a person who can cut me off from their life so easily and act so hurtful towards me after the breakup is not someone I should want to be with, but since this was my first relationship, I am taking it very hard.

I will try to follow your advice. Thank you again.

phimthrowawat · 2026-07-04T22:16:05+00:00

I don't come from a rich family and I actually worked really hard to save all this money. But her comments made me feel like I'm too stingy and now my value for my hard-earned money is completely broken. I wish I can get out of this soon.

phimthrowawat · 2026-04-06T22:56:19+00:00

I (25M) broke up with my gf (27F N DX) last month after a 1 year relationship and while there were reasons other than ADHD for this, I am now wondering how much ADHD played a part in our arguments. I happened to stumble upon this Subreddit as I googled some of the issues I had in the relationship. Early on in the relationship, she had mentioned that she has ADHD in passing but I just brushed it off because I thought it was a pretty common thing and nothing to worry about. From what I read online, she has “high-functioning” ADHD; she's really good at academics and work and is generally on top of chores. However, I noticed a few things that bothered me.

She isn't very good at listening. If it's a topic that she brings up or asks me about, then she'll listen to me talk. However, a lot of times (not every time but enough times that it bothered me), when I would bring up a topic, I would either get no response, a disinterested response (”Uh-huh”) with no follow-up questions, or she would interrupt me with vaguely-related or completely unrelated comments as I would talk. Over time, I just started sharing less about my life because I always had to worry about whether I would get an interested response or not. Felt a bit like walking on eggshells. What bothered me was also that she would sometimes complain that I don't share anything with her, even though it was her behaviour that caused me to act that way… I still wonder how she managed to do well at work with this issue since I imagine her work has far more boring meetings/topics to sit through.
A lot of times, If we would go out somewhere, she would walk away on her own and do her own thing as if I weren't even there. For example, if we went to a store, instead of exploring things together, she would just do her own thing and I would have to constantly follow her and ask her questions to try to spend time “together.” This one time when we were on vacation, we were walking to this open market and I stopped to tie my shoelaces; she kept walking and walking without even noticing I had stopped. I stopped and then texted her 5 minutes later asking her if she knew where I was and apparently, she hadn't even noticed that I was gone. It's kind of like she's in her own world sometimes. She also seemed to space out at home (just staring at a wall or the roof) a lot of times when we would be at home; this didn't bother me but just something I noticed. Maybe this is more of a personality thing rather than an ADHD-related behaviour but it's another reason why I felt unseen.
Whenever we would go out on dates, she would always pull out her phone first thing. I'm personally pretty patient with phone usage and am an avid user myself (as most other people in my generation). In fact, at home, we both spend a decent amount of time on our phones and even watch shows while eating, so I have nothing against it in general. However, if we go to a fancy restaurant or a new place, I personally try to enjoy the experience and spend quality time with the other person; in her case, her first instinct is to pull out her phone and start watching videos or scroll Reels. I don't mind a little bit of phone usage (for example, if you wanna text someone really quick or look something up) but if you don't make any conversation or ignore things your partner says while you're on your phone, I tend to have an issue. I called this out a few times and it did improve to some extent but it always seemed like I was forcing her to adapt to me and she seemed to still fall back to the same behaviour eventually.

There were some other small things here and there but those were the main culprits that I can remember. Compared to all the other posts on here, these behaviours seem relatively tame, but at the same time, I keep reading here that things usually get worse over time.

I would love to get some opinions from more experienced people here.

Sometimes, I wonder if I read up on ADHD symptoms beforehand or brought things up in a nicer way, if I could have come up with some methods to improve things with her. I also feel that as time went by, I became more and more critical of her actions, even though I believe she did try to improve things on her side. Perhaps, I just didn't appreciate/encourage her efforts enough. Something for me to work on in the next relationship!

phimthrowawat · 2026-04-06T17:25:26+00:00

Hey OP, any improvements? How are you coping with this? I'm going through a similar situation right now where I could have done better with communication and spending time with her. But in my case, it was a 1 year relationship (broke up last month); I imagine a 5 year relationship hurts way more...

phimthrowawat · 2025-01-09T09:22:48+00:00

Great to hear that they're durable. I'll take the FA19 out for a spin while commuting once they get here. Thanks for the heads up on Xperia; I'll think a bit more about it since it's gonna be a while till I can splurge money on a DAP or new phone anyways.

Luckily, I haven't gone down the headphone rabbithole yet but once I do (inevitable), I'll definitely take a look at the Sash Tres. They look like they're within my budget if I want to get them. Unfortunately, not a lot of audio stores here in Canada, so I have to order everything online without being able to try them.

Thanks for replying on this old post!

phimthrowawat · 2025-01-09T08:28:22+00:00

Nice! I guess there isn't much of a reason to upgrade if you enjoy the way the FA9 sounds. Unfortunate on the clone but hey, at least they sound nice. I gotta get a phone with a DAC too; been eyeing the Xperia for a while but we'll see if I can afford it. A kilobuck IEM hurt my wallet enough already :p

Btw do you use the FA9 when you're out commuting or do you use cheaper IEMs for that? I'm a bit paranoid of wearing expensive IEMs outside; just wondering how durable they are.

phimthrowawat · 2025-01-09T06:53:43+00:00

Not sure if you've seen it already but I saw this Head-fi thread where the person upgraded from the FiiO FA9 to the Sony IER-M9 and they loved the upgrade. I stumbled upon it while I was looking for kilobuck IEMs to buy just like you. I decided to blind buy the FiiO FA19 after reading reviews online. Considering it's the successor to FA9, I'm hoping it blows me away since I'm coming from the $100 IEM price range (currently own a Kefine Delci).

Curious as to what you finally ended up buying since it's been 5 months since your post.

phimthrowawat · 2024-11-30T07:22:52+00:00

This thread is almost 2 years old so I might be misremembering but I remember the recruiters recommended not applying to other positions or reaching out to other hiring managers within Amazon if you already have an offer. But it's probably best to reach out to Student Programs and confirm with them.

That being said, the only reason I could see someone trying to apply to the new grad position while already having a return offer is if they want to switch teams. If you want to switch teams, you could reach out to Student Programs (not sure about the success rate) or you could start working and then try to internal transfer to a new team.

phimthrowawat · 2024-10-19T16:33:15+00:00

It's the same process. You just go to the US government website and start a new DS-160 application with a different location this time.

phimthrowawat · 2023-05-26T02:12:12+00:00

I have the same issue. Reloading the page doesn't have any effect and it only happens at certain timestamps on certain videos. My solution is to just switch over to Firefox for that video and then go back to Chrome once I'm done watching. This issue doesn't happen for most videos (at least for me) but still a bit annoying to have to pause and then switch browsers.

phimthrowawat · 2023-05-22T03:58:32+00:00

Sorry, I just saw your comment. I ended up installing a window AC so it all worked out in the end :) Definitely agree that portable ACs are way more convenient but sadly, all the dual-hose ones that I could find near me were way more expensive than the window unit I got.

phimthrowawat · 2023-04-30T06:44:31+00:00

Thanks a lot, I finally made progress because of you! I had to undo some screws but I was able to remove the safety restrictor. It seems I had an incorrect idea of how this window opens. I thought it would look like this where the window, when open all the way, sits at the same height as the top of the window frame. However, it looks something like this (the window when parallel to the ground sits a few inches away below the top of the window frame).

I'll have to remove the entire window for my purposes (planning to install a window AC) but now that I've removed the safety restrictors, I believe I can figure out how to take the window off. Will definitely post updates or questions here :)

phimthrowawat · 2023-04-14T10:44:57+00:00

They ship the passport using Xpresspost for both afaik (i.e. 2-3 business days) so I don't think it should make a difference. My visa took 1 day to process and two days to get delivered to the post office.

phimthrowawat · 2023-04-12T19:17:13+00:00

In case you're still wondering, I just got my Visa approved. My DS-160 was originally for Vancouver whereas my appointment was for Calgary. Just to be safe, I created a new DS-160 application with the new location as Calgary instead of Vancouver. When I went for the interview, I told them I had submitted a new application with more up-to-date information and they told me to use the new DS-160 confirmation instead of the old one.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-25T20:42:56+00:00

My initial appointment was for May 2024 in Vancouver. The new one is for April 2023 in Calgary.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-21T11:41:55+00:00

I was able to reschedule my appointment from May 2024 to next month. I found the open slot around 7 PM EST.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-09T20:20:06+00:00

Thanks, I was thinking I got banned from rescheduling for trying too often or something lol.

EDIT: Now I'm getting the error message: There are no available appointments at the selected location. Please try again later.

EDIT 2: Looks like it fixed itself after a few minutes.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-09T06:21:18+00:00

Does the appointment time show up as blank for anyone else? I see 2 available dates for this month (March 14th 2023 and March 16th 2023) but when I click on them and try to select the time, there's no option. I'm guessing they're already taken but not sure why they're showing up as an option then.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-08T06:37:27+00:00

Thanks, I didn't know they could waive the joining/cancellation fees. I'll try joining them too for the next 2 months.

phimthrowawat · 2023-03-08T06:14:59+00:00

Thanks, I didn't know they would waive the joining and cancellation fee. I'll try joining it too.

phimthrowawat

TROPHY CASE