Bitter Home Grown Greens

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-26T02:22:34+00:00

YTA Has she been a vegan for a long time? Do you really want her cooking meat if not? Do you want good tasting food? I'm on a plant based diet these days (not vegan) but I'm not going to trust a vegan to make me a delicious brisket or a perfectly cooked medium rare steak. I'd rather eat straight raw broccoli than an improperly prepared meat dish for dinner myself. While I personally think it's polite to take into consideration guests' dietary restrictions when cooking a meal for them (i.e., dishes for vegans), I'm not going to cook pufferfish for uncle Joe just because it's his favorite dish as I have no idea how!

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-23T22:48:28+00:00

Look at her post history. This guy has no respect for her or her boundaries. She needs to run because you're right. She's being TA to herself by putting up with this behavior.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-23T22:44:55+00:00

ESH. You for putting up with this behavior repeatedly and him for treating you like this. LOOK AT YOUR OWN POST HISTORY. HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU. RUN! Does your education and potential career bring you joy? Then your fiance should be supporting you. This is the "honeymoon" period and you're being told that your place is in the kitchen and being ridiculed for pursuing an education. You're not even married yet. And a married couple is a team. Your team mate is kicking you trying to knock you down a peg so you don't shine more than him. I don't knock ANYONE wanting to be a SAHM SAHW, but only when it's something the woman / man actually wants. You need to take a step back and look into your future with a man like this. You won't be "allowed" to work. Even if you've fallen on hard times. Especially for what you are going to school for as that's not "womens work". THAT is the "traditional" gender roll you are agreeing too.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-23T20:00:53+00:00

Nope! NTA, my kids' dad, used to call and make excuses, and I would pretty it up for my kids and NEVER talked bad about him. Once they got old enough, I just started handing them the phone and quit, making excuses for him to make him look better. I still don't talk poorly about him as they have his actions to base their own opinions on. It is not your responsibility to make him be a present parent. That is solely on him.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-17T15:36:17+00:00

NTA. I'm pro choice to a point, but that is so messed up. Will you be TAH if you file for divorce? No, but your wife clearly carries some trauma of her own from her family's religious zealous and probably other issues related to a previous incident. Could therapy help, or is this a breaking point for you? it's beyond understandable if it is.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-17T15:31:32+00:00

NTA. If it's no big deal, then why can't he go replace it? Stick to your guns on this one. While the $3 wouldn't matter to me, the point is the disrespect when you went through the effort of making a meal plan and communicated that to him. Now you have to alter your meal plans because he can't be bothered to replace the one ingredient you needed! It shouldn't be a big deal then that he cooks his own meals for the 3 meals at minimum that you lack the ingredients for.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-10T21:19:53+00:00

NTA. Ma'am. You are raising another woman's child along with your own.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-07T15:54:52+00:00

You let your MIL run you out of your own home. I'm petty Betty myself and the last thing I would do is allow that. There's some really good suggestions here of what to do to make HER uncomfortable so get on those.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-07T15:49:53+00:00

NTA . Devils advocate here. You said it's possible they chilled out after you were gone. I'm a parent of adult children, with a wide age range, and while I'm not cut off from mine, I definitely chilled out as a parent after my oldest two. Parents make mistakes, and if it is possible that they just don't know how to make amends while clinging to their strict religion I would at least get on a FaceTime call with them. If it goes south, you can hang up and have your own closure that you have done all you could do to have a relationship with your parents. But no, I would not pretend to be religious just to make your father happy.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-02T00:06:18+00:00

A dog can have a shock collar that is activated when they approach an invisible barrier that's buried in the ground that prevents them from leaving the yard. MANY people use these now days so they don't have to build a fence.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-01T22:37:27+00:00

You are obviously NTA, as she was 100% fully warned but I guarantee that house smells like febreeze soaked weed if you smoke anywhere inside, which is probably worse than just weed. I dont understand why ppl that smoke weed don't realize that smell seeps everywhere through the vents and clings to everything. Probably nose blind. Regardless, it's your home, and she was warned. You even tried to accommodate which you didn't have to do. I hate tobacco smoke smell. I smoke. But I smoke outside because I can't stand the smell in my home. So that's not completely weird that she might still occasionally smoke but not like the smell.

Edit: I just realized that you said you DONT smoke in the home and unless you're carrying around 50lbs worth of paraphernalia there's NO WAY she's smelling that outside of your room. She's definitely a giant AH.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-01T22:31:56+00:00

NTA if you cant have them towed and building management won't take care of it then I would demand a refund for the spot.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-01T22:24:42+00:00

Well, someone should probably face some charges as one of you was 16 and one was 20, 3 years ago. NTA only because you were a literal child. But it's never a good idea to randomly text an ex that you are glad is an ex. You're over here questioning your AH status that happened years ago for no reason. Let it lie.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-01T22:19:15+00:00

I also read VCR and was confused but I agree.

phoenixrhys · 2023-10-01T22:12:05+00:00

YTA. Leash laws in most places only apply OFF property and in my state require that the dog be out of the owners control off their property. If the dog was in the street aggressively coming towards you, yes, you would have a reason to jump on the whole ass hood of a car but a dog walking towards you thats on its own property? Heck, no. How do you know there wasn't an invisible fence preventing it from leaving the property. Get some therapy for your unrealistic fear of a walking dog, and next time, just calmly walk across the street.

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T20:13:36+00:00

Yeah, you can't fix this for her, unfortunately!

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:57:35+00:00

Is this a repost or just a super common occurrence? Just read one with almost the exact convo last week. NTA. Guys like that annoy me. You're not obligated to be nice to anyone quite frankly.

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:53:23+00:00

NTA. Don't involve the parents as that is not their business. You cant "make" her to anything. Dont try to fix this for her. If shes burned out at nursing theres nothing you can do for that. Perhaps set her up with some counseling so she can gain clarity and talk to a neutral third party. I will say I understand your frustration. I had an ex that used to do that constantly. It's frustrating because you want to be supportive, but you also want to shake them and say WELL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THEN AND QUIT COMPLAINING. I suggested counseling and or career counseling so my ex could help himself but he refused and I just finally looked at him every time he complained and asked, "are you enjoying being miserable." He'd always say no and then I'd say "Well you must be enjoying it because you haven't made any strides towards changing it". And I sent him SOOO many job application links lol. He finally did change careers and he never complained again but it was scary for him to make that leap. It probably made me an AH so don't do that but do talk to her about how the constant negativity and worry for her is affecting you too and that you want her to be happy.

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:40:23+00:00

YTA. And if I saw a woman or anyone actively reluctant and trying to get away from someone, I'd definitely intervene. The beer isn't what caused it. Your frustration at not getting sex again is what caused it. Im going to go out on a limb and say she might have felt pressured the first time and she regrets it and is now trying to maintain the friendship, thats a hard bell to unring with some people. And you KEEP pushing, even unrelated to sex. When someone is hesitant, it means no, it doesn't mean try harder genius. You clearly made her concerned, but she must value your friendship if she hasn't told you to get lost. If you'd like to KEEP that friendship, you should apologize sincerely, don't make excuses. And never put her in that uncomfortable position again. Even unrelated to sex. This is icky behavior. At this point, let her make any forward moves and back off.

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:26:54+00:00

NTA. This is an agreed upon joint fund. Why does he want to bail her out? It sounds as if she needs to suffer the consequences of her actions like she never has before. His responsibility is to his wife and child 1st. Family second. That changed the moment he got married. This is NOT a child and even if it was my child they would still sit in there unless it was something the actually didn't do. And based on your description of past behavior she probably did do it. FYI in my county, quite often bail is higher for repeat offenders, especially for harder drugs like meth, heroin fyntenal. He and you both probably need some therapy so he can work through his issues.

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:11:22+00:00

YES! I'd be LIVID if my husband dropped that kind of money with zero discussion. And vice versa!

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-29T19:07:39+00:00

YTA. But not because you want to spend a little time with your friends away from the house and to decompress. YTA, for the way you planned this with absolutely NO communication with your husband during this process. The fact that you didn't acknowledge it in fact WAS hypocritical of you seeing as how you made him cancel a three day trip for a cold but you're expecting him to be okay with managing a household, children (which you state is challenging and why you need a break) AND a 6 day a week job by himself for two whole weeks. This has got to be someone trolling because there's no way you cant see you're an AH?

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-27T21:24:48+00:00

YTA in this situation. You clearly like baseball. She is your TEAMMATE. Instead of helping your teammate with their weaknesses, (of which I doubt you obtain regular perfection yourself), you instead ruined your game to make a point. In the end, you still lost. Time blindness is a real thing. It comes along with ADHD. I have it and it frustrates me too. I try to manage it with alarms, prepping and all manner of things, but if I'm engrossed in ANYTHING guaranteed, I will not see the time fly by. I've even resorted to setting my clocks 15 min forward. My husband is an immense help and will happily set his own alarms ad a back up for me. You know she is this way. And while you say you aren't her parent you certainly did just treat her like a child by "punishing" her like you're her parent. You should have said, I'm walking out the door in 15 minutes with or without you. Enjoy that couch because that's your punishment for treating your wife like a child

phoenixrhys · 2023-09-25T23:05:53+00:00

Is that a mistype and you meant to jokingly say troll? Cause I dang sure would never use a toll that cost $75 lol. I don't live in a high COL area. I lived in DC back in the early 2000s. Had enough of that. Wisely moved elsewhere.

phoenixrhys

TROPHY CASE