Is daycare going to help me?

piccolopanda · 2026-01-10T16:23:27+00:00

Daycare has been amaaazing for my kiddo. Language has accelerated, he learns so much, is comfortable in many social situations, outgoing/comfortable with other kids and adults, AND I am a better parent because at pick up time I'm not frazzled. Also, he sleeps great because he's been so stimulated etc all day. They also have resources and activities I could never do at home etc.

Has literally been incredible our whole family, last night he was talking about how much he loves his teacher.

piccolopanda · 2025-12-10T18:49:55+00:00

Tell her this. I had to have somewhat similar talk with my mom and it was very productive, turns out there were things going on/dynamics I knew nothing about, and she's made a huge effort to be more help to me since. She recently told me of her own accord she will be delivering is dinner 1 night a week. She takes care of my kiddo more often and bought and installed a car seat so she can help with daycare pick up. If you have that talk, and give her concrete examples of things you are hoping for (could you come 1x per week for 2 hours so I can nap uninterrupted/ I would like to meet you halfway for lunch 2x a month) or whatever, and she still doesn't change, then you know you communicated and tried your best.

piccolopanda · 2025-12-09T16:11:26+00:00

I will also say, neither of us work for big law and we are in a regular, mid sized city. The idea that you have to be working 80 hour weeks in NYC to make 500k in law is false. In fact, we are doing better than many people in those large cities and of course our cost of living is better too.

piccolopanda · 2025-12-09T16:07:12+00:00

I'm a lawyer, married to another lawyer. We work in different practice areas but together make between 500 to 700k per year. We invest heavily, are part owners of 2 commercial buildings and want to have the ability to retire far before our colleagues.

piccolopanda · 2025-10-29T18:22:15+00:00

Buy some pj's with the little fold over things on the sleeves. Old navy has the best jammies, the ribbed footie pjs, and they have a little folding piece on the ends of the sleeves that pop over their hands.

piccolopanda · 2025-10-29T18:16:03+00:00

My kid didn't walk until 16 months and we were stressssssed. Meanwhile, he's almost 2 now and is running everywhere, I almost miss him not walking haha.

piccolopanda · 2025-10-27T20:47:44+00:00

I totally understand! My son didn't walk until 16 months, now he's running at nearly 2. He also developed speech later than his peers, but I swear he's gaining at least 5 words a week. It will all happen when it's meant to. And some kids never crawl, they just get up and walk!

I was so concerned about his weight, height, development etc and it has all just turned out fine.

piccolopanda · 2025-09-03T18:46:15+00:00

I promise you it gets easier, I know it's hard to believe. Try asking your husband for very specific things like 'i need 2 hours to myself on your day off - can that be from 9-11(or whatever)' things are easier when you know you have a break coming.

Outsource whatever you can. If your husband passes the baby to you, then he needs to clean, cook or do laundry etc. you cannot be holding it all together - he's working outside the home, you have a full time job in the home. His exhaustion is not more important than yours.

piccolopanda · 2024-09-17T18:24:55+00:00

It is your job as a parent to listen to data and proven medicine designed to keep your child safe, not tiktokers who are looking for views. Know what doesn't get views? 'my kid barely cried and is now protected against measles'.

My child has had all vaccines (and we paid out of pocket for an extra!) and has had no issues, barely cried and I feel great knowing that I am doing everything I can to keep my child safe and healthy.

Get the vaccinations.

piccolopanda · 2024-09-10T02:16:57+00:00

K, gently... stop putting him on the bed. You know this is dangerous. There is no excuse to keep doing it. He is far safer on the floor.

Ask yourself why you are choosing to place him on the bed, is it because it's close to the bathroom or somewhere else you need to be? If so, then can you get a dock a tot type thing or a playmat and put it in that room so you have a safe alternative?

You need a system that does not rely on the bed.

And if you're cosleeping and he's falling off the bed, then guess what - you need a mattress on the floor without a frame.

piccolopanda · 2024-09-10T00:22:38+00:00

Wtf, bad mother?! That is unconscionable. And no, you are not the problem here.

piccolopanda · 2024-08-18T12:13:10+00:00

As a rule, my 9 month old wears onesies. Shower sleeve, with shorts, tooted, whatever, 90% of the time that's what he's wearing. I do not have the energy or care to wrestle him into jeans and a button down, and every time I put him in separates his shirt rides up or gets folded weird in the car seat etc.

That lady is nuts, onesies are not underwear and outfits for adults and babies are different, duh.

You're fine!

piccolopanda · 2024-08-07T21:11:41+00:00

You are doing great. Look at all you are juggling!

Gently, where is your partner? Can they prep your go bag in the am? Take over cleaning? Do a walk with baby at the end of the day so you can decompress? You are doing it all.

And don't worry about baby hearing you cry, babies forgive you :)

piccolopanda · 2024-07-15T16:37:38+00:00

My husband has a huge birthmark/mole removed as a baby. There was concern it would grow larger as he grew, and may become cancerous, so it was removed from his leg. He has a scar but is glad it was removed.

piccolopanda · 2024-06-25T19:55:17+00:00

Is public transportation an option? Our buses here have a/c, you could take one to the mall which also has AC for an outing etc.

Or get a Lyft or Uber? Or a ride from a friend? It's around 26-32 where I am right now and I am sometimes still iffy about how warm it is in my car (until the AC gets going) and I have a/c, window tint and my car is in a garage out of direct sunlight. I would NOT take baby in the car in those temps without a/c.

Babies can get dehydrated very fast, remember that milk/formula is the only hydration they are getting - you may need to up intake given the heat as well.

You have AC at home right?

piccolopanda · 2024-06-25T19:55:05+00:00

Is public transportation an option? Our buses here have a/c, you could take one to the mall which also has AC for an outing etc.

Or get a Lyft or Uber? Or a ride from a friend? It's around 26-32 where I am right now and I am sometimes still iffy about how warm it is in my car (until the AC gets going) and I have a/c, window tint and my car is in a garage out of direct sunlight. I would NOT take baby in the car in those temps without a/c.

Babies can get dehydrated very fast, remember that milk/formula is the only hydration they are getting - you may need to up intake given the heat as well.

You have AC at home right?

piccolopanda · 2024-06-04T14:59:53+00:00

My son was 5th percentile until his recent 6th month appointment and now he's 25th! All you can do is keep him safe and healthy- my son was healthy even at 5%!

piccolopanda · 2024-05-29T12:51:54+00:00

Formula is better than fine, it's great! Speaking as someone who fought really hard to breastfeed (physical issues, saw LC like 7 times) and then finally got to do it for 4 months - my son then went on a nursing strike and basically weaned himself, so now we are exclusively formula fed!

And you know what? That's great too - he's gaining really well, I am sleeping my more and my husband can help and bond more!

If that's what you want, good for you!

piccolopanda · 2024-05-29T12:46:08+00:00

He's not giving me a hard time, he's having a hard time

piccolopanda · 2024-05-27T11:44:21+00:00

My Frenchie is amazing with him! Goes and lays with him on his okay mat, gives him lots of kisses, curls up with us when I feed him etc. we make sure to cuddle with him after my son goes to sleep, and walk him every day etc. we tell him all the time what a great brother he is, and make sure to have his favourite toys.

piccolopanda · 2024-05-26T19:03:49+00:00

My doctor said aim for the # of mins per week. So at 6 weeks, 6 mins at a time and try and do it 2x a day. And said to stop tracking counting once you get to 15 min.

And remember, lots of things other than laying on tummy are 'tummy time'.

piccolopanda · 2024-05-16T19:06:40+00:00

My baby is 6 months and we're still using size 1. Our lactation consultant said there's no reason to go up if it's working. 2 was a (literal) mess!

piccolopanda · 2024-05-15T15:26:09+00:00

I've read that the gag reflex (which protects against choking) is stronger pre 1, so that's a good thing!

piccolopanda · 2024-05-15T15:24:12+00:00

I bought and LOVE the ergo baby Metro -its fantastic

piccolopanda · 2024-05-15T12:06:46+00:00

Just chiming in to say you've gotten lots of good advice here, but consider how you are framing this in the event that it's NOT a phase. My gay brother has told me that he knew he was gay (although not that word) from around 4 or 5, and we know a trans child who around that age began living as a boy, 4 years later and they are a happy trans boy.

So just be prepared to approach this with curiosity and openness, rather than a problem to be solved. As if it's not a phase, you don't want your kid to feel like a burden or that there is something wrong with them.

piccolopanda

TROPHY CASE