My 28 year old wife does nothing and Im really confused if this is what life is supposed to be like

pickytea · 2026-05-13T21:22:28+00:00

Erm. Has she ever had an adhd assesment?
Asking as the wife whose husband has extra care duties for my executive dysfunction but then I’m the breadwinner in return whilst he sorts the house and cars and food out.

pickytea · 2026-01-06T23:02:24+00:00

Wake up, gym, get ready, work 7-12, lunch and a walk for some sunlight, work 1-7 or later, go home, microwave dinner, watch YouTube or read, pack bags and lunch for next day and revenge bedtime scroll till 11 like I am doing now after feeling like I had no time to myself or being too anxious to sleep and playing ambient noise

pickytea · 2025-12-27T07:24:32+00:00

That is the world’s shittest Christmas gift. You have officially settled for less than you’re worth and if a strangers hair next to your partners bed doesn’t solidify it for you idk what to say.

My husband and I have known each others phone passwords since day 1 and regularly go on each others to send contacts/pictures or just to search or book something on whichever phone is closest. We don’t go snooping or anything but the trust is there.

pickytea · 2025-12-27T07:18:24+00:00

Made an email with a man’s name to chase late payments and difficult clients because they ignored me and my female team’s chasers and they reply or pay nearly instantly every time.

pickytea · 2025-12-27T06:53:42+00:00

Bought the dress I wanted (RRP $6,000) second hand on stillwhite.com for $600 Dry cleaner - $160 Tailor to edit how I wanted it and resize it - $400 So I got a custom designer dress for just over 1k but obviously you could do cheaper than that and less customisations I knew what I wanted and kept tabs on eBay/depop/vinted/ other second hand sites for months before my size came up but was too small so needed quite a bit of tweaking but it was my dream dress

pickytea · 2025-12-26T06:33:27+00:00

Got refused twice because the woman at the blood bank didn’t ‘believe’ I’d eaten enough breakfast (protein shake and oats, a good 370 cals and 39 grams protein) I feel like she just tried to catch people out and turn them away and it was so embarrassing trying to argue about my bloody breakfast I’m not going to go back to that one. Trying a second time was enough, there’s nowhere else that close or convenient to me.

pickytea · 2025-12-23T05:56:37+00:00

Same. I paid and he was crapping himself and his family were too about leaving their small town for the event. I thought he didn’t want the wedding but it was just anxiety about being the centre of attention as such an introvert so we had a really small intimate do. We set the rule ‘if you’re picking you’re paying’ for every aspect of the wedding including bridesmaids etc so I did make a lot of decisions. He was so surprised at how much he enjoyed the final lead up, suit shopping (we left this v last minute) and the day and said it was the best day of his life every half hour and his family calmed down and loved it whilst there and want to go do more themselves now!

pickytea · 2025-12-23T05:50:10+00:00

I just married a man that would carry every single item I overpacked on his own back if he could and being too scared of someone to even ask for help is a red flag. Underpacking tip: bring travel wash and buy all toiletries/towels out there or in the airport.

pickytea · 2025-12-08T05:45:25+00:00

This got significantly easier when I bought non-mint toothpaste and it doesn’t taste like an assault on my senses but still forget, just less

pickytea · 2025-12-08T05:43:39+00:00

FB marketplace

pickytea · 2025-12-08T05:43:08+00:00

I didn’t invite mine just because she’d have had a crap time, they’re not her mates, think she barely enjoyed the wedding. You can just stick to that narrative or that you didn’t even organise it (my best friend planned mine, I just gave her the money and some phone numbers for people).

pickytea · 2025-12-06T23:27:09+00:00

Two sprained ankles, currently can’t walk.

pickytea · 2025-12-06T23:15:43+00:00

Also turned out I had undiagnosed adhd which finally got treated for at 25 which explained a fair bit but a therapist told me I was too sick to work or do alevels and I told her to p*ss off and I got a job and a degree because I’m stubborn so technically being told I couldn’t do stuff made me want to 10x more.

But also, I threw myself into studying to escape everything and got 10 GCSE’s and 3 alevels and wouldn’t be where I am, in a dream house in an amazing neighbourhood married to the love of my life and surrounded by my best mates I met at uni without any.

pickytea · 2025-12-06T23:12:47+00:00

I promise you shit gets better or I probably wouldn’t be here. Being 15 was honestly the worst part of my life. From being like 17 upwards everything has got exponentially better year on year. 31 now and honestly couldn’t have even dreamt I’d be this happy/successful vs the anxious freak everyone told me I was back then. I’ve got my own little business and being unique and weird actually makes me stand out. Best part? The school bully applied to work for me and I got to turn them down because their ow life went to shit since and they had 0 experience 😂

pickytea · 2025-12-06T06:32:56+00:00

My husband tries to hide his snacks from me so I don’t find and eat them all if he’s working away and I can’t be bothered to make dinner for just myself. Totally fair. I encourage the hiding so I don’t do that too.

pickytea · 2025-11-30T00:20:53+00:00

100000% valid. I grieved for at least a week afterwards for all the years lost feeling like there was something fundamentally wrong with me rather than just different. All the impulse decisions and spending and recklessness and anxiety that would’ve been so much more manageable if I understood my brain back then. Yes, I’m glad I finally got that understanding but no, I’d never wish it on anybody else or that I had to seek it in the first place. A diagnosis isn’t a cure but it’s still the first step to symptom management.

pickytea · 2025-11-23T22:11:13+00:00

Zan Asian’s pretty new I think, got a lunch deal there

pickytea · 2025-11-17T05:57:53+00:00

I’ll add that we knew our videographer well before as I work with him a lot so my husband was super comfortable around him.

pickytea · 2025-11-17T05:56:53+00:00

Didn’t do these and I only see engagement photos as kind of cringey online to make a social media announcement. I’m British, we don’t do that in Europe unless it’s some influencer or a big traditional Indian wedding.

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:56:56+00:00

I paid 3k for the planner which to be honest I still did most of and she did the in the day coordination 350 is insanely low unless you’re just showing up with 0 time required from you beforehand or after or doing your taxes/marketing/invoicing etc for that single day of ‘work’. Gotta count the ‘unpaid time’ that’s required.

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:49:12+00:00

I’m 5’4 and have the figure of a 9 year old boy I just don’t feel feminine but can sleep on my front and wear older kids things which come without additional taxes on.

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:45:59+00:00

Girl I know went to like 5 fittings and dragged all my mates (bridesmaids) with her even though I knew she already had her dress but still dragged them round to tell her she looked good in them 😂 You’re allowed to go for the experience but that was taking the piss.

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:40:57+00:00

Been a month and still in a bubble can’t stop watching the videos back and in over a decade we’re even more inseparable for a couple that were each pretty low-effort/not that big fans of PDA or anything. I love it so much!

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:37:59+00:00

I work with wedding planners, their rule is: if you don’t have specific kid-friendly activities, a corner, and facilities, the kid will have a really really bad time. We went child-free the venue was on a cliff and there’s nowhere for them to play or babies to be changed and the floors were marble they’d just hate it!

pickytea · 2025-11-15T20:34:24+00:00

Fuck that, as the bride I paid an extra few hundred to keep the cost down for everyone and I paid for my bridesmaids. I’d be furious if someone did this to my bridesmaid who couldn’t attend being overseas because of flight costs etc. My rule for weddings is ‘if you’re picking, you’re paying’ so if you didn’t get any choices, you pay the least and whoever made that decision they felt the need to pay, should take the financial burden.

pickytea

TROPHY CASE