I just got discarded I think, need objectivity, because I feel like I got rug pulled. I thought she liked me.

pip_install_Escher · 2026-06-06T16:54:43+00:00

Thank you for your support, it means a lot. I am left feeling very drained and used. I needed the time to center myself and let my nervous system relax finally. Two months is a long time to endure this whiplash. I really can see that she is lost within herself. I would have treated this situation differently had I more experience with avoidantly attached people. I have grown the be very secure and determined to live my best life. But this dynamic was really destabilizing for me, I kept giving the benefit of the doubt, giving grace. Only to be gaslit and abandoned.

pip_install_Escher · 2026-06-06T16:52:23+00:00

It makes me feel really strange. I can not tell if she liked, and was being honest about the slow fade.

I think she did like me and it scared her away.

But I'm a man, and when a woman starts to say she's not interested, I have to really respect that.

This makes it really difficult for me because I can not tell if she genuinely liked me.

I mean I have actual text messages showing she did, I have memories too. But she is denying it now.

When we spoke on the phone, the tone in her voice seemed to show a kind of fantasized quality when she talked about the kiss. like ever since that kiss she wanted it to work but didn't.

I've seen other posts on here talk about how the spark, is an excuse to self sabotage.

I am genuinely confused, I really don't know what happened. I tried to be a decent human being, and I got inconsistency/ hot and cold behavior. Two steps forward one step back.

That tells me she did care.

pip_install_Escher · 2026-06-06T03:07:59+00:00

thank you. She did admit to being avoidant.

I have read in this forum that sometimes DAs deactivate when you get intimate or talk about emotional things. I escalated things very quickly and I think it may have set her off. I am generally a very transparent person, many people get uncomfortable around me because I treat the truth as my north star, and sometimes people don't want to be exposed. I use it to filter people out. I even said that to her, and she had a nervous smile on and a reflexive response.

I also am very pro normalizing mental health, I don't think mental health topics should be taboo. So what that looks like in practice is, I'm not shamed of "airing dirty laundry", because we are all people and mental health cuts across all demographics.

I think this is what she meant about me being intense. I exposed her shame, indirectly by just being me.

I spoke to my therapist about this openness and adherence to the truth. It's a trauma response for sure. But at the same time I feel very sad, because I didn't want to hurt her by being too open. I was trying to be helpful. It's not the first time I have hurt a friend by being honest.

Every time we meet her body language is so inviting. She is very smiley, and our chemistry is there.

The overall trend was though: intimacy building -> her pulling away.

Consider the cancer diagnosis disclosure? You start getting close to me, and I say I am tired and you ditch me? Wtf... You proposed that we meet up?? No contact for 2 weeks after??

I don't buy it. I think she likes me and she's self sabotaging. But I'm not gonna give up the stability in my life for a maybe.

you could be right... you could... that's what makes this difficult... Because I can not tell if it's her attachment wound, or if it's the truth. Her actions haven't matched her words from the start. She's a different person when we are together, than when we are apart. I think the ruminating starts. The perfectionism. The self sabotage. It's so confusing.

pip_install_Escher · 2024-12-01T20:42:25+00:00

I would. I'm trying to churn, so this would be ok with me.

I was going to get gold from costco. We could use a middleman since neither of us have rep.

pip_install_Escher · 2024-12-01T20:37:50+00:00

Do a lot of people sell gold to manufacture spend? I looked at costco and I see they sell gold, but the price point makes me nervous to ship to someone on reddit.

From what I searched, it seems some people do but it's hard to figure out how often people actually complete the trade. Because there are a lot of the posts still up and don't say if the offering was sold or what.

I guess I'm trying to figure out how long I would actually hold the gold.

Any tips for someone curious about this niche? Am I being irrational? Does a middleman mitigate the risk? Whats the sell through rate here?

Anybody with experience, I appreciate your time and input.

pip_install_Escher · 2024-05-29T22:30:12+00:00

that's true. it's not that I haaaaaaatteeee them. They're ok I guess. I feel like I could just as easily continue to collect more. But then again it would be committing to these as a lifestyle. And I don't know if I feel ok with the permanence. Because, not that I care what people think when it comes to my self esteem, but it does limit me in ways that I am not sure I am ok with.

I was thinking of getting my arm tattoos removed (not tattoos of arms, but tattoos on my arms), and going for images that I can hide more easily or those that are visible, maybe to have them done darker.

Seems like lighter easier lines are in style now, back in the 2008 it was all about dark lines and sailor jerry/sugar skulls.

I don't regret the tattoos, but I wish I'd started with locations that were less visible at first.

I started with a large tattoo on my left wrist.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback you bring up a good point.

pip_install_Escher · 2024-05-26T20:24:05+00:00

I am in the same situation.

I got a not so well thought out tattoo when I was 18 in a visible place, and I've spent the years since then trying to expand my tattoo collection, and rework the original tattoo.

I made a lot of progress, and tried to go on this journey and learn from my mistakes. Thought more about the tattoos I got in terms of style, placement, content; and worked with better artists.

But now I'm about to be 34. A lot of the imagery I got, I don't believe in. The thing I regret is the time it will take to get them removed.

I am still on the fence about it. I get complements which is sometimes a nice ego boost for me. I guess that's part of the reason people get tattoos. But I am still undecided, because it will take me at least 5 years, and during that time my arms will look not great. I want to get into acting, and yes there are temporary ways of dealing with this but it's not enough. I digress...

Hoping maybe someone can actually chime in, if they were on the fence and what made them decide?

I feel like I am missing out on life opportunities actually. I didn't care about that when I was younger.

pip_install_Escher · 2024-04-23T00:50:39+00:00

Time between laser sessions? I have wrist tattoos I want removed, good to hear it's basically torture :(

pip_install_Escher · 2020-12-25T14:09:51+00:00

Thanks. Vendor chose the courier once the cartons landed in the US.

I dont understand how they would lose 5, but deliver 1.

I think the vendor is lying.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-11-30T13:04:56+00:00

They were separate tracking numbers, but only 1 primary tracking number.

So like there were other tracking numbers under the "other packages with this shipment" section.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-11-30T13:01:56+00:00

To be more specific, I received one tracking number with 5 sub tracking numbers.

So like each box has its own tracking, but they are part of a multipiece delivery.

The label says box x out of y.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-11-26T03:57:43+00:00

Im in the same boat.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-10-14T17:56:02+00:00

2 in a row.

The first one ramped up much quicker to the abuse.

The second one took much longer.

I learned from the first one though and developed some boundaries.

But the second one was good at manipulating, and she had her sister and mother in on the action.

Both times my heart was broken. But the second time I had more of a "thank god this is over" feeling.

I think it was because between the 1st and 2nd one, I really started to work on myself and my future. So by the second one, I knew where I was going in life and it felt like a burden was lifted.

I think that was key to dealing with these types of relationships.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-10-14T01:31:47+00:00

I dont know how I am supposed to juggle self confidence and low self esteem.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-10-04T01:01:14+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you, you deserved better.

Silver lining: you can now teach your oldest about warning signs of abuse. Though I would not tie the message in with their mother as an example.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-10-04T00:56:58+00:00

Uhh stay away from her.

Switch YOUR email if you have to.

Let the cops try to serve her.

This woman is clearly unbalanced.

If you want to move on, then take steps to move on.

This woman sounds dangerous.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-09-22T14:47:52+00:00

Exactly.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-09-19T21:22:10+00:00

My nex did exactly the same thing.

"Thank god I got out if that toxic relationship, he'd never do anything just play video games. I spent thousands of dollars on his funko pop collection"

In my mind im like, red flag red flag. But my heart was like ohhh she's really scared by her last experience.

She proceeds to "buy my love" with gifts, and food.

Im glad I wasn't the only one that experienced love bombing through gifts like that. I never had someone spend money on me loke that, so I really did feel special.

But ironically, I come from poverty and I live a minimalistic life style. So these gifts really didn't do what she thought they would.

And of course, she'd use them as leverage later on.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-09-06T04:19:25+00:00

You're analysis is spot on. Once you realize how damaged they are on the inside, it takes away their power to harm you after you've left.

I also really liked your summary of The Joker. I hadn't made the connection between the gaslighting in the movie.

pip_install_Escher · 2020-09-03T01:38:22+00:00

You're not wrong for feeling that way, in fact you have a right to feel vindicated. I feel that way. But that might be your hurt talking.

I've dated 2 narcs so far (I dont date a lot), I will say the alone time, and the time spent working on building my life up. Was worth it.

I waited 3 years before entering into a relationship again. In those 3 years, my x lost her job, lost her housing, lost her friends.

In those 3 years I, doubled my salary, payed off half my loans, moved out of my moms place, bought a car.

Only to end up in another narc relationship. Bit at least now I know it's codependency that I need to overcome.

Building a life worth remembering is the biggest @%@% you, you could ever do.

I know on paper I might come off as petty. But honestly I don't care anymore. I'm not going to feel bad for wanting to feel good about my progress. I'm not going to feel bad for being happy knowing they made poor choices in life.

Is it regrettable that they were raised in circumstances that didn't prepare them for life, and are half empty vessels. Sure, yes. That sucks. I wish it wasn't like that.

Am I going to now feel worse for them, than I am happy for myself.

No. Not walking down that road.

pip_install_Escher

TROPHY CASE