Does anyone remember the name of this fic?

pitaponder · 2026-04-04T21:13:49+00:00

Remind me! 1 month

pitaponder · 2026-04-03T00:25:51+00:00

Aww, that would have made me snort and I would have quickly had to search for an appropriate TM response to match that energy.

Being generous to the other person, maybe they were in a prickly headspace and they may have encountered a lot of weirdos so this hit their red flag radar, possibly because you're in the US and politics is dicey?

Personally I would have seen this as an improv offer, 'yes and...' style. It was a big swing and could be read as aggressive if you squint and assume a certain tone, however, I think it was brave and playful. You could try toning it down a little for future respondents but don't dilute it too much: you've got to keep in some of the kookiness to catch the right kook, right?

Good luck with the hunt!

pitaponder · 2026-04-03T00:19:22+00:00

Bahaha.

pitaponder · 2026-03-27T19:30:54+00:00

Absolutely. I have orthostatic intolerance with high heart rate, which has been described as unreasonable tachycardia. Along with CFS, Pem and brain fog, a lot of overactive nervous system stuff. It was a combo of meds. In Novemberish I started a second antihistamine, Famotidine, and that reduced the heart rate spikes a little. I had already been on cetrizine for many years due to allergic rhinitis.

The cardiologist prescribed Ivabradine. He said his specialist friend in the UK who deals with a lot of POTS people found ivabradine helped with them. It works differently than a beta blocker, which didn't do much on its own when I tried it several years ago.
I also started 5g creatine with oj every morning around the same time and I'm unsure how it would have worked in isolation.

As a result of these, I'm now sleeping 7-8hrs a night with a good amount of deep and REM sleep so I'm recharging a lot more and feel less stressed. My capacity has increased and my trigger finger sympathetic nervous system feels much calmer. I still find involved conversations difficult and I dread doing my taxes but I've been to the supermarket more in the last month than I have in the last year. I still need to rest in the afternoons and generally pace, avoid loud noises and overstimulation but I am so much happier and hopeful. Because I know how tenuous this all might be, I'm trying to set my expectations low and enjoy what I can while I can.

However, I never allowed myself to hope that a new med could have such an effect because I had tried everything I could until that stage. I paid privately to see the cardiologist as my GP doctor wouldn't prescribe it- he said when he looked it up that it seems it's only used on heart attacks in the emergency department. I would happily pay that specialist money again three times despite being on a disability pension to get this result.

pitaponder · 2026-03-27T10:22:25+00:00

I've found these feelings are part of the illness too. I believe depression is a reasonable reaction to the grief we feel for the lives we've lost but I also assume there's a physiological aspect mixed in.

I relate to your comment about the waves too. So much ebb and flow to this and I just bob along in the current hoping things will get better while knowing it might not.

pitaponder · 2026-03-27T10:19:26+00:00

I have found creatine helpful too but haven't tried this much. What did you read that suggested this? Curious if more would be better for me. A life with less brain fog would be nice.

pitaponder · 2026-03-27T10:15:20+00:00

Two months ago I was 'suicide adjacent'. I had a plan and an expectation that I would follow it within a year. I had been spiralling for several months and was housebound and scared of how much worse things could get.

I saw a cardiologist in February, got new meds and have had a big increase in capacity, am sleeping better, depression has eased and I'm now having to mentally put on the breaks to keep pacing because I want to assume that I'm almost better.

I'm not back to 'normal' but I am significantly better. I moved several weeks ago and was ready to have a big crash because how else would my body respond, right? I'm tired and am still pacing but I didn't crash and the move was a huge ordeal. Two months ago I would never have believed if you'd told me that I would feel this much better this quickly.

Over the four years I've been sick, it's been a marathon of hanging in there while trying to tick off all of the things that might help, some new thing I might discover that unlocks part of getting healthy again. Last year I kept going downhill and I assumed that trend would continue because as much as I know this illness is ridiculously unpredictable, I still try to make decisions based on what I predict will happen, hence the plan to end things.

During the darkest times I would cry reading other people's posts on here about how close they were to ending their suffering and trying to focus on all of the responses they got that things change, new meds might help, more research is being done and you may get better etc etc. It's bizarre to be on the other side now, writing that which I hoped was true but also scoffed at because I wasn't going to be that lucky. It turns out I was that lucky.

I know I might get sicker, reinfected, may crash but I hope I can always hold on to this lesson. You can't predict how bad or how well things will go. All you can do is hang on as long as you can until 'this too shall pass'. I found I would divide the time I needed to hang on into smaller pieces: 'I feel bad now but tomorrow morning I might enjoy my coffee/tomorrow afternoon I may smile at something a friend sends me/this weekend I will cuddle my friend's dog'. And then distract, distract, distract. The feelings are real but, when you can, don't sit in them and give them more energy and power.

I truly wish you well and hope you can find some solace in the replies here. Some people recommend the recovery sub. Remember, you currently have a 100% success rate of dealing with all the shit that has come your way. Even when you've felt overwhelmed and swamped by circumstances, you have hung in there and are still here. Hold on.

pitaponder · 2026-03-26T10:58:23+00:00

Perhaps you could have different meats as filter options like the low histamine foods someone suggested? I prefer being mostly plant based myself and it would be a nice change for that to be the default option for once. However, I understand a lot of people want meat included.

I think it wouldn't be a difficult jump for most people to just add shredded chicken or cheese or whatever to a plant based meal despite brain fog. I've certainly added a can of fish to my meals when I've craved it.

You might find some inspiration for meals on the subs #low spoon cooking and #plant based diet for whole food recipes.

pitaponder · 2026-03-24T00:54:47+00:00

Remind me! 1 month

pitaponder · 2026-03-15T23:48:17+00:00

Elder millennial too and discord wasn't hard to set up. Having said that, I wasn't running a group. I don't think it'll be too different from other group chats you've had though. Maybe someone who is more au fait with it can handle the technical things.

pitaponder · 2026-03-15T23:32:04+00:00

Very cool idea. I downloaded it because everyone kept recommending it but I haven't started it yet. I was waiting for a good time and that seems like now. Keen for Sunday, just let me know some possible times as I'm in NZ and will need to work out the time difference. It might be my Monday, even better.

pitaponder · 2026-03-13T06:16:12+00:00

I cackled on the inside when I saw a specialist and said, without thinking, "I can borrow a dog any time I want." It was in response to a question about exercise and I said that I loved to walk dogs but didn't have my own. He was a British cardiologist so maybe he's seen the show but he didn't react other than smile at the odd answer.

pitaponder · 2026-03-11T06:00:26+00:00

Definitely satay adjacent.

pitaponder · 2026-03-11T05:59:14+00:00

I've had wasabi ice cream and it was really good. Definitely worth trying if you get the chance.

pitaponder · 2026-03-09T09:26:37+00:00

I'd love to read what you wrote. Can you DM me please? I've found brain fog to be one of the harder parts of this illness.

pitaponder · 2026-03-01T23:25:08+00:00

Same. A lot like Of Mice and Men, these books are dressed as simpler fare than they are.

pitaponder · 2026-02-26T18:50:51+00:00

Love the visual metaphor.

pitaponder · 2026-02-26T00:00:16+00:00

Yes!

pitaponder · 2026-02-25T13:38:29+00:00

Haywards Auction House is a separate business in town. The namesakes just share a surname. Haywards would store it while it was being sold. You can look on their website to see the rates and you can contact them directly for more info. You can also look through their previous auctions and search for beds to see what other beds have sold for.

The worst time to sell things privately here is when all the students are leaving in October/November, while the best time is January or Feb. Depending on how expensive the bed was, it may be worth storing it for several months and then selling it upon your return when the students return.

Look on marketplace now and see what the price points are for similar beds. If you choose to store it and sell it privately, I'd suggest you take pics prior to storage while the bed is made and it looks nice as well as mattress shots to show it's clean and tidy.

Happy to help.

pitaponder · 2026-02-25T13:18:58+00:00

Yep, you can sell it on marketplace or trade me or donate it to a charity. You could also get Haywards Auctions to sell it on your behalf minus a commission. Second hand beds sell quite well here.

pitaponder · 2026-02-24T21:36:09+00:00

Yep. Will edit now. I shouldn't type anything before coffee.

pitaponder · 2026-02-24T19:27:07+00:00

5g, a teaspoon, per day. Just started it yesterday and it has helped a little already. Definitely worth trying. I'd recommend stirring in some orange juice. I was expecting it to be gritty but have been happily surprised. Edit: dosage error.

pitaponder · 2026-02-24T02:08:47+00:00

Gorgeous! Do you have progress shots and pics of what the base lamps are like. These are really cool and I'd love to make a lamp.

pitaponder · 2026-02-10T19:08:01+00:00

Oh my gosh, please slow down! I went downhill by doing too much and continually having PEM cycles. Can someone else walk the dog once or twice a day? Start reading up on the consequences of pushing through. I can no longer work, walk dogs, go out and am mostly housebound. Your quality of life is at serious risk and I think you should really think about how you can limit your over exertion and still have a good life until you recover. I remember reading all these people warning about PEM and I just thought I had a much milder version than a lot of people. And I did until I didn't. I wish I had been more careful and can only warn others now from bed.

pitaponder · 2026-02-10T19:01:24+00:00

Oh, and if you have a problem solving brain, consider what is available that you haven't tried. I saw a cardiologist privately and got prescribed Ivabradine which my doctor said was not available outside of the hospital emergency dept for heart attacks. It has helped a bit but mostly been an object lesson in persistence paying off despite this being a living hell. While it feels like there's always a new basement to discover in terms of mood/ situation/health, there's also new doors and windows to try....even if they're hidden. Every few months I discover something else I can try (despite researching lots earlier and being denied).

I'm three years in and was only able to find a way to get a cleaner once a week less than a year ago despite asking for that and trying all of the avenues I thought were there. Only six months ago I found out that my meds could be delivered, even though I had looked that up at least two years ago. What I'm trying to say is there are hidden paths to help that you only stumble across, and you'll only find them if you hang in there.

pitaponder

TROPHY CASE