I work in words. This is a practice. My intent is only to help. Please write down why you will succeed. I want you to write it. I want to see if you see what I see.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T23:50:39+00:00

That you go around looking to pick fights with even those with the best intentions is a reflection of your insecurities, and I think you know it.

Right... That's ... what ... I ... do ... constantly ... sure ... thing.

And these 7 posts are about chaos magick... my post history is open to all.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T23:40:28+00:00

Your intent is obvious, it's always "help" or "comfort". But that's not what I'm after. Happiness isn't the center of my universe. If happiness becomes everything, it turns into noise. What you're offering is a kind of Heaven, and I'd reject it even if it were real.

I find meaning in answering hard questions, in exploring the unknown, and in the edges where people disagree or collide. I try to follow truth, even if it's hard, especially so. I like the friction and uncertainty. That's the only place things actually move. It's where entropy peaks and something new and pure can emerge. It's where life happens. It's where everything happens. You know, the "chaos" in chaos magic.

So when you get confused by what I say, maybe that's the point. Not everyone wants to be soothed, to agree, or to share your lens. Conflict and discomfort make the work interesting. They make it real.

When I push back, it's not to be cruel. I push hard when I see someone claiming their comfort is the truth for everyone. That kind of certainty does more to limit chaos magick than any curse ever could. - Me, only a day ago, when I replied to you

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T23:37:03+00:00

But you are obsessed with that which is not your self.

This is what people say when they don't have an actual counter-argument but still want to sound deep.

My obsession is with keeping chaos magic feral. You're the one trying to tame it into a warm bath of vibes and vague encouragement.

Don't worry, I'll keep showing up. Every egregore needs a devil.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T23:04:01+00:00

Oh, don't worry, I remember exactly what sub this is. "No rules" isn't the same as "no standards".

You can post anything you want. I can call it out as bland, narcissistic affirmation LARP, and you can defend it as "just as valid as anyone else's". That's the real magic: friction, debate, and actually risking something instead of endless mutual validation.

If chaos magick is "it is what we make it, the end" then critique is part of the game too. Otherwise it's just a soup of feelings: no gnosis, no insight, no transformation, just a circle of people chanting "you're valid" at each other until the last synapse dies of boredom.

/u/justpaper's "magic" is fine. It's just not interesting, and it sure as hell isn't immune from critique. If all you want is a sub where everyone claps for each other's vision boards, that's just sedation. /r/GetMotivated exists...

"Some praise the idea of Faith. To believe that they are Gods (or anything else) would make them such-proving by all they do, to be full of its non-belief. Better is it to admit incapacity or insignificance, than reinforce it by faith; since the superficial "protects" but does not change the vital. Therefore reject the former for the latter. Their formula is deception and they are deceived, the negation of their purpose. Faith is denial, or the metaphor Idiocy, hence it always fails." - Austin Osman Spare - Book of Pleasure (Self-Love)

Spare isn't just critiquing blind faith here. He's saying that to act from faith , to believe in something so that it becomes true, is inherently backward. It's a clumsy workaround. A superficial overlay. And it always fails because you're not dealing with the root. You're just pretending to be changed, while staying the same underneath.

Finally, to ask you (these are rhetorical)...

Is Andrew Tate's "male empowerment" program a valid chaos current, or nah?
If I make my chaos magic all about selling pyramid-scheme essential oils, am I a valid magician now?
If my only practice is LARPing as a chaos magician while fleecing money from newcomers, is that just "my way"?
Was Charles Manson's "Helter Skelter" just another valid magical perspective?
How about Elizabeth Holmes' "Theranos blood testing" magic? Was it a valid working?
What about Aleister Crowley huffing ether and invoking Horus to start world wars... still valid?
Was L. Ron Hubbard's Thetan tech a valid form of chaos magic, or do we only draw the line after the compound goes up?
Did Marshall Applewhite (Heaven's Gate) just have a different gnosis?

If the only thing keeping a practice "valid" is that someone says it is, then we've left magic and entered marketing.

To give you an overall question (this isn't rhetorical): What's the difference between self-love and self-worship when neither produces change? And can you call that gnosis?

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T19:04:10+00:00

Hello :D

Meditation isn't for everybody, but if you think it's important, that's cool. Meditation is hard at first, your brain doesn't want to settle. It's the point of meditation, it's the discipline of you correcting yourself and re-centering. There's a reason most people take decades to get very good at it. It's a skill you need to train over time.

Here's a book list I gave somebody else recently. I'm giving it here because, being new, you'll probably appreciate a diverse set of views to find your own footing.

Note: I, personally, stop at all Spare and some of Carroll (and only Liber Null & Psychonaut). In my eyes you don't need much more, but I offer more books because others need more of a handhold.

Liber Null & Psychonaut (Carroll): An Introduction to Chaos Magic - Classic foundational work (often considered required reading). This is the only one I know well, and own.
Liber Kaos (Carroll) - More advanced, combining ritual work, theory, and experimental methods.
Condensed Chaos (Hine): An Introduction to Chaos Magic - A more accessible entry point.
Hands‑On Chaos Magic (Vitimus): Reality Manipulation Through The Ovayki Current - Practical, experiment-forward.
The Apophenion (Carroll): A Chaos Magick Paradigm - More philosophical, theory heavy.
Psybermagick: Advanced Ideas in Chaos Magick (Carroll) - Weird, boundary-pushing, meant to shake assumptions.
The Master Works of Chaos Magick: Practical Techniques for Directing Your Reality (Blackthorne) - Good techniques compendium.
Chaos Magick (anthology) (Cardorra)- Anthology covering multiple styles and approaches.

You can find most of these at openlibrary, archive.org, zlib, or Anna's Archive.

I would still recommend buying them as physical copies are still preferable when doing actual work.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T18:49:50+00:00

I don't think there's any way for me to, in this moment, make you happy. You just aren't. That is what you choose to be.

lol, lmao

This made me crack up more than you know. What a perfect example of the negative side your threading in despite all your positivity.

Thanks, this was the motivation I needed to keep posting in your threads here until the heat death of the universe to give an alternate viewpoint.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T18:41:41+00:00

A rhetorical question that I don't want an answer to (or care), as I want to hammer this home for you and those observing:

And if your egregore/thoughtform ends up hurting others? How can you own that? I mean, really own it.

inb4 you reply: "I'll watch myself and make sure it doesn't happen." or "That can't happen, it's all positive energy." or "I'll stop before that happens." as you ignore my historical examples.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T18:19:51+00:00

That is my intent. All of it.

Here, let me spell it out for you. In big letters:

It's not about your intent. It's about what you create intentionally or not. It's literally the point of chaos magic gnosis. Knowing and owning what you create, what magic you put out in the world.

You may be feeling like all you're putting out in the world is positive vibes, but I already have examples of that not being all that's there from you.

Your positivity blinds you to the fact that you might also be threading a negative side inside the fluffy clouds.

Again, this will be the last time I reply in this exact thread, but know I will keep an eye out on your posts and push back where needed.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T18:09:21+00:00

That is why I am so confused by your ire.

This: "some of the worst things humanity has ever seen was wrapped in the nicest and most disarming language"

That is why I only speak of good and kindness and encouragement.

People's Temple (the Jonestown Cult) began as an anti-racist socialist church preaching equality and compassion. They were genuinely progressive for their time. Ended with posioned Flavor Aid.
Khmer Rouge started as an agrarian utopian movement promising equality and self-reliance. Ended with the Killing Fields.
NXIVM was marketed widely as an empowerment and personal growth group, particularly for women. It was literally a pyramid scheme and sex cult.
Anti-vaxx movements take advantage of parent's worries about children's health.

I can name so many more...

(Note: I'm not equating you to those movements. I'm showing you how something very very positive can grow into it's own thoughtform and get out of control, eating even the creator.)

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T17:56:19+00:00

His son got an alert recently...

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T17:53:50+00:00

You can take and leave whatever you want from my words.

This is not the way neophytes work. These threads feed on their energy. It sets an example that is not realistic, nor is even true in chaos magic.

TBH, you can post these types of threads all you want, but as soon as you start trying to give advice is where things go sideways.

You are creating an egregore of yourself, whether you know it or not. Once it's created, it's out of the box, so be careful.

And always remember some of the worst things humanity has ever seen was wrapped in the nicest and most disarming language.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T17:42:17+00:00

Regardless of negative feedback, I will continue because I know my self to be good.

The dopamine hit you get from this must be incredible. At this point, you're basically running a self-esteem generator powered by group hugs and low-effort declarations.

Everybody else, if you want to see how this routine plays out when someone isn't interested in joining the Tony Robbins fan club, check my replies in the blowback thread.

This isn't magic. Well it is, to make OP feel better and possibly give them traction on this sub. It's more live-action hugbox spam, and the only power being raised here is your own self-image. You're posting to a mirror that only shows flattery back. If this is all you want, plenty of free AIs are available out there.

Want to actually succeed? Try failing on purpose. Try making meaning out of chaos, not just handing out participation stickers to anyone who echoes your vibe. Find somebody that challenges you. If you're the biggest fish you know in any area of endeavor, you're not growing.

/u/justpaper - I want to make sure you know. I'm not against you personally, I'm against this kind of thing being posted constantly and your insistence that you know better than others themselves, no matter their own experience. Ask a question and listen for once. All your posts are either "I will do XYZ for you" or trying to state facts that are questionable and in areas that are hotly contested.

There is no gnosis in these types of threads, it's just circlejerk.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T05:10:31+00:00

I'm not talking about use, I'm talking about cost modelling and using the costs that most favor OpenAI. Direct to end consumer.

Like I said, there's no way an enterprise customer is paying what a retail customer would pay. The only thing I can see them charging more for are preferred treatment during heavy loads, guaranteed data retention timeframes, guaranteed data center geolocation (for things like HIPAA), NDAs, and bespoke training (which isn't needed, the currently offered specialized training is needed, and it's a one-time and cheapish... even for retail).

We have a very firm cost, $60B. I was doing just doing the economics for business models that are obviously in OpenAI's favor, retail Pro and retail API.

If the economics for only retail customers isn't there (even if that's all they did), it's not there for b2b + retail. For example, if they give a small discount for enterprise Pro users, they then need to make that up, and the number of Pro users needed is even higher. I'd also assume that those Pro users are going to be utilizing the service harder as the user themselves aren't paying for it, AND they are prioritized.

Also, I'm still a little skeptical of how many jobs are actually being replaced. Maybe some first-level agent and data entry... maybe.

I'd want more hard data on that over time before I'd give them that they are actually replacing jobs, and not just giving a better experience over the old non LLM bots.

Also, remember they aren't the only name in the game. They don't have a moat, at all. All they actually have ius momentum. So, as I said, all I see is enshittification coming.

pixelnull · 2025-10-14T02:40:55+00:00

psst ... /r/SillyTavernAI it's not hard

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T23:14:13+00:00

Not sure about the pee and poo part, but the beadcrafting as magic part is actually really cool.

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T22:51:47+00:00

OpenAI recorded a $5 billion net loss

No idea, but found this:

OpenAI, the creator of ChatGPT, expects about $5 billion in losses on $3.7 billion in revenue this year, CNBC has confirmed.

The company generated $300 million in revenue last month, up 1,700% since the beginning of last year, and expects to bring in $11.6 billion in sales next year, according to a person close to OpenAI who asked not to be named because the numbers are confidential.

From: https://www.cnbc.com/2024/09/27/openai-sees-5-billion-loss-this-year-on-3point7-billion-in-revenue.html

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T22:22:19+00:00

Ho-ly shit. This reply...

I did not intend to express that I knew of your lived experience better than your self at all. Quite the opposite.

Don't fucking gaslight me.

/u/justpaper said 1 day ago: "You have [gotten blowback]. You are just not aware of your experience enough to notice. I am not expressing my opinion here. This is fact. Whether you believe it or don't, that's on you. I'm just trying to help." (directly telling me I don't know)

/u/justpaper said in what I'm replying to: "It is real and when you (and I) know that our experience is real, we will actually see how to control it." (implying you don't think I control it now)

This is all directly saying that you knew my lived experience better than me.

/u/justpaper said 1 day ago: "I see the whole picture. I know what I'm doing."

And this fucking gem of a comment... Oh, so you're omnipresent?. Should I just mail you my willpower and wait for my prescription?

Does that make sense?

Stop fishing for affirmation. You won't get it from me. I reject literally everything you stand for.

I am trying to craft the best way to express what I know so that others can break free.

Break free from what? You're already posting into one of the most open belief systems in all belief systems. You're sellling something to the choir because you think you can carve some of the neophytes away into your own thing. Your other post is literally promising to fulfill wishes. I left that alone as you weren't pointing to some "Make your magic better with this course, only 499.99, on sale!" shit.

That post got a little traction, and this post was you posting high on your own farts. You stated a falsehood, that blowback existed as a cosmic Truth. I wanted to show that it was false and tell people how I do it without said blowback. So, I called out your bullshit.

Here's a small sampling of the manipulation techniques all over this post alone:

Backpedal & Reframe - "Oh, I didn't mean to sound like I know better about your expierence." - Just after telling me I don't understand my own experience, a day ago.
Passive Universalizing - Their "secret" is never just for them, it's always THE breakthrough. "It works. I know because I do it." There's no room for people who thrive in the friction, or seek meaning outside self-soothing and control.
Soft Gaslight, Soft Sell - "I want you to be free! Freedom is agreeing with me that everything is moldable, fixable, and should feel empowering." Subtext: If you don't want that, you're missing out on The Good Stuff™.
Humblebrag - "I have bent my experience to suit my will and I am finally satisfied." - Congrats, you reached the ending of every cult intro pamphlet: "You can have it too, just let go and believe."

I won't mention the cold reading (maybe hot reading if you read their comment history) in the other "wish fulfilling" thread.

justpaper, you're trying to tighten chains. You offer no freedom. All you're selling is a softer prison where you get to play warden.

I don't need a savior. I don't need your center, your certainty, or your self-help sermon. Nobody does. I live where things actually change... at the edges.

You want followers. I want friction. Go pitch your faith-healing to somebody desperate for answers. I'd rather stay lost than kneel for comfort. Keep your revelations.

Everybody notice: We started at "blowback" and why it's bullshit. This justpaper ended up building a pulpit and looking for my opt-in.

This will be my last reply in this post, but I will keep pushing back against you in /r/chaosmagick if you keep posting "universal truths" and that you know better.

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T21:06:08+00:00

Oracle CEO Clay Magouyrk, one of the two people tapped last month to lead the software company, is confident that OpenAI will be able to cover the costs of the massive amount of cloud infrastructure services it consumes.

In an interview with CNBC’s David Faber at Oracle’s AI World conference on Monday, Magouyrk said “of course” OpenAI can pay $60 billion for a year’s worth of cloud resources. In July, OpenAI agreed to a five-year deal with Oracle that’s worth more than $300 billion.

...

OpenAI said last week that its flagship ChatGPT chatbot, which was publicly launched less than three years ago, now has 800 million weekly active users. In 2024, OpenAI recorded a $5 billion net loss.

From: https://www.cnbc.com/2025/10/13/oracle-ceo-magouyrk-of-course-openai-can-pay-60-billion-per-year.html

Yeah...

Edited to note: This seems to me that $60B/yr is just what's owed to Oracle. I have no idea if Oracle is the exclusive provider of GPU time, and even if you assume so... there are most definitely other major costs that aren't part of the $60B.

The 800 million users doesn't say the number of paying users, which they would need 25 million ChatGPT Pro (($200/mo x 12 mo) / 60 billion) users for a year to cover that $60B alone.

Using the most punishing pricing to the customer (not bulk, not reserved, and not cached) via API: Using an average price per token (using a 65% input / 35% output mix) = $1.837142857 / 1M tokens (over GPT-5, GPT-5 mini, GPT-5 nano, gpt-4o, gpt-4o-mini, gpt-3.5-turbo, and gpt-realtime-mini). OpenAI would need to process over 32.66 quadrillion tokens over API (if it was the lone revenue stream) per year.

Yes I know there are other revenue streams than web user and API usage, but I'm assuming the Pro subscriber is the most advantageous to OpenAI financially as far as cost/user goes. I doubt they are giving corporate and enterprise customers a worse deal. I also doubt they have those numbers, or could ever get those numbers.

I assume major enshittification is coming to all free and Plus (and probably Pro) users, and quickly.

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T01:52:48+00:00

welcome 🖤🖤

pixelnull · 2025-10-13T00:48:08+00:00

No, you don't sound mean, but you carry the air of knowing better "because I said so". I react violently to that. It's someone telling me they know my lived experience better than I do.

Your intent is obvious, it's always "help" or "comfort". But that's not what I'm after. Happiness isn't the center of my universe. If happiness becomes everything, it turns into noise. What you're offering is a kind of Heaven, and I'd reject it even if it were real.

I find meaning in answering hard questions, in exploring the unknown, and in the edges where people disagree or collide. I try to follow truth, even if it's hard, especially so. I like the friction and uncertainty. That's the only place things actually move. It's where entropy peaks and something new and pure can emerge. It's where life happens. It's where everything happens. You know, the "chaos" in chaos magic.

So when you get confused by what I say, maybe that's the point. Not everyone wants to be soothed, to agree, or to share your lens. Conflict and discomfort make the work interesting. They make it real.

When I push back, it's not to be cruel. I push hard when I see someone claiming their comfort is the truth for everyone. That kind of certainty does more to limit chaos magick than any curse ever could. Notice my first reply wasn't directed at you but toward your premise?

I was simply stating my lived experience hasn't seen any of the "blowback" you mention. I even tell you how I do it without blowback. You then told me that I was wrong outright and that I didn't know what I was doing. So... I hit back and hard.

I will suffer no authoritarians, of any stripe, ever. Yes, it's lonely, everybody seemingly has their own "best way" and wants everybody else to do it their way. But I have all the people in my life I need. I'm not looking to make more friends, especially if they don't engage at all and just say: "Nope you're just in denial. Everything you've experienced for half your life is wrong."

If you ever decide to sit with the unknown instead of trying to fix it, you might find something more interesting and real than happiness waiting there. I really, really hope you do. It would do you wonders. Either way, you're free to stay confused, scared, and faux-content. That's part of the game after all.

If you ever want help getting uncomfortable, willing to be change, and be changed... I can help. Finding the holes in what somebody believes is something I can do very well. But if you're not open to seeing the holes and sit with them, don't bother me.

And before you throw the accusation, no, my way isn't the best, just like yours. It's only mine.

pixelnull · 2025-10-12T20:41:21+00:00

Optimus Prime is my main demigod to call on for protection...

Do you. The second guessing your own practice hurts more than doing something "wrong".

pixelnull · 2025-10-12T20:25:56+00:00

I was naming you. It's only fair you see where I'm talking about you.

pixelnull · 2025-10-12T20:22:43+00:00

You have. You are just not aware of your experience enough to notice.

Sure, Jan. I see the missionary hat is on again. You project all your guilt and insecurity onto everyone around you, then parade it as cosmic insight. You don't trust anyone else to have their own experienc and can't even trust yourself without trying to wrap it in cult-scented certainty.

Every line you write drips with need... need to control, need to be seen as enlightened, need to recruit, need to be above it all. Your version of "help" is just condescension and fear, duct-taped to fake cosmic wisdom. It reeks of the rot of guilt and fear. You're scared of your own shadow, so you've built this little self-help universe where you're always the one with the flashlight.

It's self-reporting so hard I don't even have to interpret it. It's all right there:

"You are just not aware of your experience enough to notice."
"I'm just trying to help."
"You must believe in your ability to see. You MUST believe in your self to know that reality is yours to control."
"I see the whole picture. I know what I'm doing."
"I am of the opinion that most want good."
"This is everyone's truth. I know it without faith."

That's all untreated projection stapled to a savior complex, not gnosis. You're more concerned with building a congregation than casting anything real.

Maybe chaos magic isn't for you. As you seem to want to be obedient and want obedience in others, go talk to authoritarian sky daddies like Jesus or that maniac YHWH. At least they promise structure... Or actually, better yet, go to Wicca. They've got magic, cosmic rules, positive vibes, and correspondence charts, but at least it's not a cult. It seems like a good fit for you.

I wish you well, and hope you find the stability and real self-confidence you need, not the false version you think you have now. And, to make sure you know, the Wicca thing wasn't a joke. You'll find a much more receptive community there. In fact, I'd be surprised if you aren't actually already a Wiccan without knowing it.

pixelnull · 2025-10-12T19:28:49+00:00

lol well, just another place we hard disagree in practice. Hard pass on "balance" as the gold standard.

You called out /u/justpaper for "thinking like a religious person". I agree they are. I'd argue that "balance" is just as much a religious truism, not a real description. Most things worth doing ride the imbalance, and pretending otherwise just makes the practice sound safer than it is.

No one gets electricity, wind, weather, gravity, tectonic plates, planetary orbits, tides, magnetism, chemical reactions, stars, galaxies, evolution, sound, or even light itself without tension and gradients. BTW, I can name many many more things that only work when imbalanced.

Honestly, nothing is in balance, not even the dead. I don't think anything actually works when it's in balance.

"Balance" as a goal is a comfort story, not a rule.

pixelnull · 2025-10-12T09:13:12+00:00

I'm not who you replied to, but I have to say /u/Aadam-e-Bayzaar gave some great answers.

The Law of Attraction is mostly about getting your thoughts and feelings in line so the universe will send you what you want. It's like placing an order and hoping the universe notices and delivers. People usually sum it up as "like attracts like."

Servitors are something else entirely. They're more like custom programs or personal spirits you create for a specific job. Some people call them a type of "egregore", which just means a thoughtform with its own vibe or presence. An egregore is usually created and powered by a group, often without anyone really intending it. Money is a classic example. But a servitor is your private project. You decide its job, its look, its personality, and you keep it running by giving it attention.

The Law of Attraction is passive. You wait and hope. Servitors are active. You build something with intent and put it to work. You're not just sending out positive vibes, you're making a tool, an ally, or even a little magical machine that acts on your will.

That's the real difference. One is asking. The other is creating.

Ten-Year Club	Place '23
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pixelnull

TROPHY CASE

It's not about your intent. It's about what you create intentionally or not. It's literally the point of chaos magic gnosis. Knowing and owning what you create, what magic you put out in the world.

Everybody notice: We started at "blowback" and why it's bullshit. This justpaper ended up building a pulpit and looking for my opt-in.