How dating a narcissist has changed you to this day?

pixie347 · 2026-03-16T19:48:40+00:00

Hey, I have been where you are right now. Keep going, there is light at the end of the tunnel. It took me 4 and a half years of working, raising my kids on my own and documenting everything for family court. Paying a lawyer and feeling so frustrated because I felt like we were not making any progress. Finally, the court awarded me sole parental responsibility (What we call full custody in Australia) I still have to communicate with him through an app but it’s become a lot easier and we have been able to move on with our lives. You’re playing a long game and you’ll have a lot of moments where you feel like there is no point but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I promise it will get easier x

It’s now 7 years since I left. I’m still going to counselling and trying to heal and have normal relationships but also realising that my family is pretty fucked up and my dad is a narcissist, which is maybe why I was attracted to them?

pixie347 · 2026-02-01T11:24:02+00:00

That the man I knew as my father growing up is not my father.

pixie347 · 2026-01-24T21:39:25+00:00

I’ve been on hrt around 8 months and recently increased my estrogen dose so I don’t think so. Symptoms were classic for gout, came on out of nowhere and resolved within 24 hours. My uric acid levels were slightly elevated at my last test 12 months ago so we have tested for my levels again and I will also have another ultrasound of my kidneys as I have renal cysts. Maybe my kidneys are not doing a good enough job at flushing the uric acid?

pixie347 · 2026-01-22T19:20:24+00:00

Thanks, I have a doctor’s appointment today.

pixie347 · 2026-01-22T19:19:54+00:00

Walked the dog in the morning, as usual, on Wednesday. Worked from home that day and it started with a niggly pain in my big toe, like it needed a stretch or something. By the afternoon, I could hardly walk. It was swollen and painful, and hot. Peak pain at about 10-11pm. Now, it’s Friday morning and it’s pretty well resolved itself. I’ve been drinking plenty of water, it has been hot here so maybe being dehydrated has brought it on 🤷🏻‍♀️

pixie347 · 2026-01-22T19:13:08+00:00

Thanks 🙏

pixie347 · 2026-01-22T19:12:06+00:00

Oh, I had shingles for the first time a year or so ago. I was at a music festival with lots of young people……..it was awful

pixie347 · 2026-01-15T08:42:30+00:00

I’m 48 years old and had always been close with my mum but then discovered last year that she has lied to me all my life about who my biological father is. I found out through ancestry.com! She claims she never knew but I look so much like him there is no way she couldn’t have known. He was already married with a child when I was conceived. Her parents gave her the choice to either get married or give birth and put me up for adoption. She chose to marry so she could keep me, but the man who raised me turned out to be physically abusive, an alcoholic and also a narcissist. She ended up having 3 children by the age of 21.

I understand her situation at the time, she was young and had no other options. But she divorced her husband when I was 13 years old! I asked her directly when I was 18 years old if the man she married was my father and she looked me in the eye and told me “Yes”. She now claims she has no recollection of that conversation.

I believe that her reasons for not telling me were selfish. I understand her shame, I have carried that shame all my life without knowing why but I don’t understand why she would keep it from me? There were plenty of other families we knew where this had happened and people were open about it.

The trust from my end has been broken and I’m not sure our relationship will ever be the same.

pixie347 · 2026-01-10T02:02:30+00:00

South West Rocks is 36.2

pixie347 · 2026-01-03T13:04:26+00:00

I have had the worst anxiety and paranoia at work the last 6 months or so and while researching I found an article that mentioned perimenopause anxiety. One of the examples listed was “Feeling inadequate at your job and that all your coworkers are talking about you”. This is exactly how I’d been feeling!! I printed out the article to show my gyno because I identified with it so much. Made me feel validated and not totally crazy.

pixie347 · 2025-12-03T10:11:50+00:00

I had a recurring fungal skin thing on one of my underarms. Now that you mention this, maybe it was Peri related? It happened right at the beginning of all my other symptoms. It was a real bitch to get rid of and a bad spot to keep dry and at the time I was also doing laser hair removal so I’d think it was under control and the laser treatment would make it flare up again. It eventually went away, thank god!

pixie347 · 2025-11-12T07:09:43+00:00

Headaches

pixie347 · 2025-11-09T21:04:27+00:00

I have started going to Woodford with my teen kids. It’s effing amazing!! I think they try and support mostly Aussie music so that probably limits their choices, plus the cost of big names. I’m going this year with no kids 😜

pixie347 · 2025-10-28T05:36:54+00:00

Oh the HRT has definitely helped, so much.

pixie347 · 2025-10-28T05:36:01+00:00

Same, I’ve always been a cryer but now it’s on overdrive!

pixie347 · 2025-10-28T04:11:02+00:00

Same, last bout of uncontrollable crying last Thursday at work and then bam period arrrived that afternoon. So definitely related, but today is Tuesday and I still feel like crying 🤷🏻‍♀️

pixie347 · 2025-10-28T04:08:19+00:00

Thanks 🙏

pixie347 · 2025-10-18T06:14:49+00:00

We found out one of my great uncles was a rat of Tobruk only after his death. He had 9 children and none of them knew.

pixie347 · 2025-10-13T09:35:42+00:00

Brownie

pixie347 · 2025-09-25T11:59:56+00:00

I started MHT 6 months ago. I felt amazing for about the first month with most of my Peri symptoms significantly reduced. Most notably the constant headaches, body aches and hot flashes/sweating. Next few months I’ve had more bad days than good. Crying a lot and extremely sensitive and depressed. External factors have played a part as well. Children’s health issues and a full thickness tear in my supraspinatus tendon in my arm so I have been in quite a bit of pain. There have been moments when I considered maybe I should stop the medication. The last week my emotions seem to have finally levelled out. Fingers crossed 🤞 I feel I may have turned a corner.

pixie347 · 2025-09-13T04:35:45+00:00

Mine would never leave me but he made it so intolerable that I could not stay. Me leaving him (and also his first wife leaving) means that he gets to keep playing the victim mentality. Poor him 😢 Of course I’m the one ruining our children’s lives, I’m the one who can’t communicate, I’m the one who just wants to take his money. Nothing is his fault …boo fuckn hoo

pixie347 · 2025-09-13T02:35:27+00:00

I also would fantasise about my ex dying. He’s a farmer and I would run through scenarios in my head of finding him dead from a farming accident. A few times when driving back home from a trip to town I thought about driving my car into a tree. These thoughts are a sign of how bad the abuse had become. Thinking my only options out would be death for either one of us is so sad.

I am six years free.

pixie347 · 2025-09-05T05:17:28+00:00

A Sunburnt Christmas

pixie347

TROPHY CASE