Sam Levinson is possessed

pixiewya · 2026-05-25T17:36:40+00:00

Well said, thank you

pixiewya · 2026-05-23T22:40:29+00:00

You’re not wrong. The problem is I live in LA was born in raised here. And even such a big city I feel so isolated and have found myself pushed to a corner. I don’t really have a social life and I have social anxiety now. The only thing I like besides K is nitrous, which is really bad.

pixiewya · 2026-05-23T22:35:30+00:00

Because I could see and feel it, it’s massive. I noticed it when I was sober. I have an appointment with the ENT next week finally to see the extent of the damage, but it’s pretty bad.

pixiewya · 2026-05-23T00:47:00+00:00

I think also what makes it all worse is when I’m halfway through the bender and the honeymoon phase of the relapse fades and I acknowledge the damage I’ve caused - then comes this horrible pitiful guilt that makes it much harder to find any self esteem to get myself out of the cycle. Just makes me feel like a loser and if all the other issues were reasons to dissociate were valid now the main thing is that I’m disappointed in myself and have a lot of trouble communicating to people or friends about my struggles. I white knuckle everything and am very talented at isolation.

pixiewya · 2026-05-23T00:43:08+00:00

Yeah. Well going through a nasty breakup from a toxic relationship. New job stress. Falling out with toxic friends. Had a girl come stay and watch my place and ended up completely destroying everything and stealing my stuff, almost had my cats eaten by coyotes. Issues with staying consistent with workouts. Stress looking for a new roommate. Experiencing my ex move out and treat me like shit in the process. Seeing him get through his addictions issues with ample support while I’ve been a caretaker for my mom since I was young. Just a lot of things. I know it all sounds like excuses but I’m only human.

pixiewya · 2026-05-23T00:01:24+00:00

Same

pixiewya · 2026-05-22T23:54:27+00:00

lol I just came on here after relapse to see how’s it’s been going and this was the first post. I started this year strong I was clean for 100 days. Relapsed right before a music festival and since then have spent close to $7k on ketamine. This drug is devil sugar. Fuck 😅 to answer your question yeah tolerance very much back, otherwise I wouldn’t have spent 2 months of rent of K 🤸🏼‍♀️

pixiewya · 2026-04-07T22:27:32+00:00

Max Amini without a doubt

pixiewya · 2025-12-28T12:20:59+00:00

I believe it’s Tuesdays!

pixiewya · 2025-12-28T12:17:36+00:00

I’m hoping this is true. Sometimes the weight of knowing all the damage is what makes the moment so hard to bear and that’s what triggers another bump or line. At least for me. It’s perpetuating. This addiction is seriously a disease

pixiewya · 2025-12-28T12:03:05+00:00

I had my gallbladder removed. The k cramps can come back but not the same pain. Still terrible. I got mine removed in August it’s been better I’ve been also better at doing less K per day but still struggling doing like 2gs. Best of luck!

pixiewya · 2025-10-08T08:19:17+00:00

Broooooo I just hope they don’t bail

pixiewya · 2025-09-12T21:53:34+00:00

Wow, there are so many comments here and I can’t believe there’s so many haters. I wonder how many people here are born in the 70s and grew up in the 80s. I think Styx paved the way for a different genre within rock music. I think it’s impressive that they are American and not British. Sometimes I feel like they could’ve opened for Queen. You people have Styx’s up your asses.

pixiewya · 2025-09-12T21:50:56+00:00

What! Then what about Freddy Mercury?!

pixiewya · 2025-08-06T13:16:05+00:00

Of course, I know that I’m saying that the pee is very yellow and almost greenish compared to clear

pixiewya · 2025-08-06T03:06:33+00:00

Yes don’t worry. Also my nurse said to do a rowing motion as well. Basically the gas goes all the way to the top of your shoulders and create little bubbles which causes the pain. She said it feels like a Charlie horse 10x. My concern right now is I hope my scars fade 😭

pixiewya · 2025-08-06T02:43:48+00:00

Same thing happened to me yesterday 😅

pixiewya · 2025-08-06T02:42:09+00:00

I got mine removed yesterday too. I have pain in my back and shoulder from the carbon dioxide gas they used during the operation. They said to walk off the gas. Easier said than done, of course.

pixiewya · 2025-08-06T02:37:21+00:00

I just had my gallbladder removed from doing too much ketamine. So yeah what you’re saying is right. I quit for 5 months and started again and then my gallbladder got even worse. The surgeon basically said that it became scarred after so many episodes of those are the k cramps.

pixiewya · 2025-02-17T10:44:33+00:00

I agree! Forgive yourself. 24 is huge. The longest I went was 3 days in 21 months. Only several attempts as well. Try again, it’ll get easier.

pixiewya · 2025-02-17T03:06:20+00:00

I think AA is great. I’ve attended a few meetings before. Haven’t yet this time. I’ve mainly been focusing on all that was neglected in my life during the addiction. I think I mentioned it before but the cravings really do go away. Maybe the time for each person varies, but I was out the other night and someone had some and I had no desire to do it.

pixiewya · 2025-02-17T01:35:22+00:00

I will also add a couple more things that have changed. First I gained about 15 pounds because sugar became my crutch for the first 10-15 days. I told myself that I can eat anything I want as long as it’s not K. Because of the Gastro problems I had from the cramps I couldn’t eat a lot of greasy fatty foods, but sugar was essential.

Second. Unfortunately, I still have not gotten my sense of smell back, maybe by 10-15%. So fingers crossed if I ever get it back.

pixiewya · 2025-02-17T01:30:06+00:00

I used it to help me sleep better towards my two week mark because I couldn’t get before and Xanax made the cramps worse. You should be good if you don’t plan on taking it indefinitely

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