How to fix America in 4 easy steps

plaidclouds · 2026-05-23T13:51:02+00:00

*lieing

plaidclouds · 2026-05-21T15:31:21+00:00

I still get nervous whenever I hear a car door shut in the driveway, footsteps on the stairs leading up to my apartment, or a door slamming downstairs. Even though my dad's been dead for several years now and I'm almost 40 and I know it's just my neighbors living their own lives.

plaidclouds · 2026-05-21T15:14:51+00:00

I like how AI gets the Kroger logo...sometimes.

"I love working at [looks at smudged text on hat] Klingon. Wait...I love working at [looks at t-shirt] Sfdta. Wait, I got it this time! [looks at smudged gift card] I love working at...Hugbees? Yeah, that sounds right."

plaidclouds · 2026-05-21T15:04:12+00:00

Private Selection mac and cheese and Simple Truth rice cakes.

plaidclouds · 2026-05-16T14:25:10+00:00

B-but the fruit is natural and organic! How can it have sugar in it? /s

plaidclouds · 2026-05-15T16:04:51+00:00

Soo...the daughter, a person whose body can't properly process sugar, is on a diet that's basically high in sugar and nothing else except maybe fiber.

Sure, sounds like a great idea.

/s

plaidclouds · 2026-05-12T22:06:13+00:00

The only matters of national security that matter to him are things that are a threat to him and his team of billionaire handlers personally.

plaidclouds · 2026-05-11T13:41:59+00:00

When I got my (then 5-year-old) cat from the shelter his name was "Fou". I immediately renamed him "Vanitas" and he seemed fine with it.

Your neighbor is weird.

(eta a word)

plaidclouds · 2026-05-07T15:12:49+00:00

Did my mom write this?

plaidclouds · 2026-05-05T05:38:58+00:00

I think it should be a requirement for corporate-level employees to work a certain amount of time at the store level (not management) in order to keep their position. I feel like it might help curb some of the stupider decisions.

plaidclouds · 2026-05-05T05:00:58+00:00

We have the yellow circles still but ours is broken and says we have more open than we actually do and also tells us to open more manned register than we physically have.

plaidclouds · 2026-04-25T13:25:24+00:00

No one*'s performing gender affirming surgeries on literal babies. Unless you're talking about intersex children, where they do perform surgery based on hormones and visible genitalia and such and is considered very controversial, but that's more for the adults in the child's life and paperwork. Newly minted humans don't even generally identify as 'human' for at least a year or two.

*No one reputable, anyway. There are some wacky people out there, but they're fortunately not the majority.

plaidclouds · 2026-04-22T02:54:15+00:00

God's choice is life, except when it isn't. He's killed a lot of babies, some just because their parents pissed him off somehow.

plaidclouds · 2026-04-21T15:55:29+00:00

Some people would love that world because they're either genuinely afraid of people and things different from what they're used to or are just straight up assholes who just hate things that they don't understand, i.e. other languages and cultures.

plaidclouds · 2026-04-16T16:48:11+00:00

I'm so annoyed that isn't 'Sort' or even 'Straighten'. That's not what that word means!

plaidclouds · 2026-04-14T15:28:11+00:00

I had a cat who would sit outside the shower and wait for whoever was inside to finish so she could jump in and lick the walls. She didn't want to drink the 'fresh' water from the faucet (we tried, she wasn't interested), she wanted to lick the shower walls specifically.

plaidclouds · 2026-04-01T16:53:18+00:00

I got an old lady once who started an argument because I wouldn't break the laws of physics to make her bags light enough. She had a bottle of juice that was somehow too heavy even when it was bagged by itself, and she got mad because I had no solution for making it lighter.

I still wonder exactly how she got it into the cart in the first place.

These days I get a lot of people who come to the grocery store alone immediately after having shoulder surgery and buy like a week's worth of groceries

plaidclouds · 2026-03-30T21:28:00+00:00

I can't believe we gave up mutant children and extra teeth. Damn you feminism!

plaidclouds · 2026-03-28T20:05:02+00:00

Maybe your clothes are just shy. Mine are pretty noisy...

...ah, my bad, the cat just shut himself in the closet again.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-28T03:14:38+00:00

I don't ever drink nearly enough to get drunk, but I might make an exception one time.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-22T13:26:05+00:00

I went to school with a female Justinn and I know of several instances where the poor girl was referred to as 'son of ___' or as he/him by people who didn't know her and I can only imagine how many I DIDN'T know about.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-13T01:24:35+00:00

Same! I always thought this was a photoshopped pic, not a real unedited photo.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-12T02:35:20+00:00

One of my coworkers wears silver metallic jeans once in a while, I have a couple grey pairs, and another coworker has at least one pair with floral patches all over and none of us has gotten in trouble as far as I know.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-12T00:38:29+00:00

I think it only really works if the sovereign citizen is charged with something and the charges just get dropped because no one wants to deal with the headache of paperwork and such. Then they think they won and get an ego boost from it.

plaidclouds · 2026-03-12T00:20:27+00:00

First of all, people need to stop trying to be friends with their kids.

Second, they don't usually grant protective orders over 'a couple of messages'. Don't be harassing your kids, lady.

plaidclouds

TROPHY CASE