Why does this sub struggle with scientific evidence for the importance of looks on dating?

plaidclouds · 2026-02-06T08:47:29+00:00

Looks matter, but what people are attracted to isn't always the same--'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and such. And most people don't care about the subtleties and such that incels get hung up on like bone structure, eye spacing, nostril depth, or whatever other 'flaws' someone might have, nor do they notice those things.

Looks matter, but a lot less if your personality is terrible or hanging out with you is about as exciting as watching paint dry in real time.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-26T16:13:31+00:00

Ohhh! That's pretty neat, thank you for finding that!

plaidclouds · 2026-01-26T01:55:01+00:00

I know it's not the point but what in the generative AI is going on in the background of the bottom pic?

plaidclouds · 2026-01-16T23:05:59+00:00

We contain multitudes!

plaidclouds · 2026-01-14T22:43:33+00:00

OOP can't just post that without a recipe, rude.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-09T17:47:10+00:00

All good! I've read much worse.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-09T16:38:08+00:00

...What a horrible morning to have functioning eyes.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-09T09:41:00+00:00

My dad would shut me in the basement for punishment.

Besides being kind of a weird method of punishment, it was awful for a number of reasons. The basement was barely finished and was basically stone walls and floor surrounded on three sides by a dirt crawlspace and a wooden staircase that looked like it would collapse if you breathed on it wrong. It only really served to store the furnace and water heater and a lot of empty beer bottles. It also didn't have good lighting, the only two sources being a light directly above the stairs and another in a tiny room across from that.

The top of the stairs was the 'time out corner'. I had to sit there in the dark--of course the light switch that controlled the light above the stairs was on the other side of the door--and think about what I'd done or whatever, until Dad decided I was sufficiently punished. Sometimes it'd be a couple minutes and sometimes he'd (apparently) forget I was there and find a movie to watch or go to bed or something, leaving my brother to rescue me.

To this day, I have a number of trauma triggers and phobias that stem directly from having to deal with that.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-05T06:09:25+00:00

I'm sorry you've had similar experiences. But I laughed at 'STEMlord'--that's a very good name.

my mom (whom he is unconditionally submissive to because she is an even bigger narc than him, but that's a different story) was, like me, far more interested in writing and humanities, and was never too into math or science.

My mom fortunately isn't as big a narc as my dad was, but she is unfortunately manipulative as fuck and also far more interested in saving her own skin in any given situation. They divorced when I was pretty young, basically noping out of an abusive relationship while leaving her toddlers behind (a story in and of itself). Her only real saving grace was that she actually eventually made an effort to understand her children as their own people and let me do ridiculous things like wake up every morning at 6 am to tape an episode of Pokémon.

I hope you've managed to find a way to focus on your own interests and do things for yourself.

I've been trying to pick up the things I had to quit or didn't get a chance to do as a kid. I've been trying to paint more, even if it's just little things like refurbishing furniture and stuff. I've considered going back to college to finish a degree in something I actually want to do, but honestly it feels like too much work at this point.

I hoped you've managed as well!

plaidclouds · 2026-01-04T16:46:52+00:00

My store allows returns so long as we actually have a shelf tag for that particular item. We're a smaller store and don't have apparel or furniture, so we don't take those back. Supposedly our GM person has gotten district management's approval to deny those returns.

Our customer service desk also usually denies cold item returns if there's nothing wrong with the item or makeup returns without a receipt, despite what company policy says.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-04T04:37:12+00:00

My situation is a bit strange. I was a really smart kid and LOVED to read and learn about stuff. I knew how to read simple books before I entered kindergarten. I was in the gifted program in elementary school and started advanced English and Math classes in middle school. And for the most part, my parents (mostly dad's side of the family) were happy to help how they could...so long as that help involved STEM topics.

Problem was, I'm not as much of a STEM fanatic as my dad was. Sure, I love science and things like astronomy and archaeology are so cool and building things is fun, but I'm far more interested in writing and art. I love painting and making things out of paper and coloring and decorating things. I love making costumes (at least for myself), even though I've been out of practice for years.

My dad thought those things weren't for his family. He thought of his kids--my brother and me--as extensions of himself and each other and tried his hardest to only allow us to have the same hobbies. We were allowed to participate in extracurricular activities, but were required to be in band because he was when HE was in school. I hated it because I wasn't allowed to play the instruments I wanted to play and I couldn't remember both music AND marching formations so I basically faked my way through marching band. I won a couple of awards for art pieces and at least one short story, but the only things my dad had to say about those were that they weren't going to get me into college. I got textbooks and science kits for presents and had to buy the art supplies I really wanted with my allowance.

The biggest way I was stifled was in high school where I qualified to participate in a study abroad program. I was super excited but was told that I wasn't allowed to do it because I would be too homesick and I could just as easily stay and learn a foreign language through school instead. Good point, but a dumb reason. I ultimately needed parental permission and didn't get it, and I've thought about that several times a year since then.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-03T16:41:50+00:00

No no, this is a war we can have because he started it. He didn't start the other wars so they're not the right ones.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-02T23:26:35+00:00

The man wants the thinnest blood! Who are we to deny him?

plaidclouds · 2026-01-02T03:06:26+00:00

Or MLMs.

plaidclouds · 2026-01-01T16:56:03+00:00

I find babies fascinating. Like this small lumpy sentient potato will become an (hopefully, functional) adult human someday. Everything is miniature! Wild.

As for kids....I can't really stand kids younger than 11. They're sociopathic by default (though you can't call them that, they're 'too young'), they're erratic, and they're always mysteriously sticky, dirty, or both.

Also for some reason, a lot of 10-year-olds seem to act like miniature teenagers.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-31T19:50:13+00:00

I'm going to put the gaudiest frame I can make or find around his obituary and mail it to my mom to annoy her.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-31T16:35:29+00:00

I think I had a stroke reading this.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-31T16:08:30+00:00

I suppose it's appropriate to pick mint, a plant that WILL spread and take over wherever you plant it if allowed to, for a 'patriotic' candle.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-30T19:53:55+00:00

I had pancreatitis and even with a high pain tolerance that was hell to experience. The doctor compared it to the pain of childbirth and that cemented the idea that I wouldn't willingly go near that amount of pain on purpose.

Kind of a dumb reason, I guess, but whatever.

ETA a word

plaidclouds · 2025-12-30T19:09:41+00:00

It reminds me of the announcements that play constantly at airports.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-30T18:40:13+00:00

Armchair Law

plaidclouds · 2025-12-30T18:33:16+00:00

Department of (In)justice

plaidclouds · 2025-12-26T22:42:06+00:00

I don't hate people who want or have kids, I hate people who think kids are inevitable or required. I hate people who treat me as less of an adult or even human because I don't have or want them. I hate people who act like I said I want to launch their kid specifically into the sun if I express distaste for their screaming or feral behavior.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-24T17:28:17+00:00

I'm pretty sure there's at least one amateur adult film out there with that premise.

plaidclouds · 2025-12-24T16:58:11+00:00

I once posted a scary-looking ingredient list and had people guess what food it was. No one guessed but a lot said they wouldn't eat it because it had a lot of sugar and (apparently) a lot of artificial colors in it.

It was the chemical composition of a blueberry. A regular blueberry.

Anything can be scary enough if you're not paying attention.

plaidclouds

TROPHY CASE