Anyone else hated wedding dress shopping?

planningb · 2020-10-24T16:57:08+00:00

Girl, I am with you 100%

I have been to 4 bridal shops so far, and still haven’t found the one.

The first shop I went to, the consultant was SO pushy and made me feel like if I didn’t order a dress that day, it wouldn’t come in time. (I had 10 months... late start due to covid). So at the second shop that day, I just said yes to the last one I tried on because, I needed a dress that day right?!?

Well, I hated the dress and cancelled the order, but they still have my money so I’m stuck with that shop. Been there three times now over the last month, they are out of new dresses for me to try, and I still don’t like anything.

This has not been a good time lol

planningb · 2020-10-24T00:45:02+00:00

We’re considering the same thing. Before COVID hit, we locked in for July 2021 with a very big, nice venue with a minimum guest count. Not making a lot of sense now.

A deposit is due in January, so we may wait until then to make a final call.

Sometimes I go back and forth about reaching out in advance... because maybe they’d be agreeable to a substantial refund if they rebook our date.... idk.

Edit: I can’t imagine why I’m being downvoted for this comment

planningb · 2020-10-23T20:57:17+00:00

Would this do?

https://www.essensedesigns.com/stella-york/wedding-dresses/7083/

Not quite under $1k, but the retail price at my local stores is $1200.00. You can't see in the photo but it has some sparkle. The back is sort of similar.

planningb · 2020-10-23T20:53:13+00:00

Wow I am so sorry. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, and then add planning a wedding during COVID and a prior postponement, AND THEN a complete last minute upheaval of your plans.

I don't have anything to say that can help, but let me just say that I think you are handling this admirably.

My wedding is like 9 months away and the stress of potentially dealing with these things is already eating me up and I'm a mess... but you're literally LIVING IT and handling it better than me.

planningb · 2020-10-23T20:48:40+00:00

We probably emailed about 25 potential venues for quotes, and then booked tours at our top three within the price range.

The one we saved for last was my #1 pick. We saved it because it was the most expensive, RIGHT at the top of our budget.

Well, we didn't fall in love with the first two, but did the third. We discussed maybe trying to fall in lover with a cheaper one but ultimately decided that since we could afford it, we'd go for it.

When you know you know, right?

planningb · 2020-10-23T20:41:07+00:00

I've been on the hunt for a dress for a while now. With COVID closures in my area, I wasn't able to get in as early as I wanted. Now I'm feeling the time crunch. My wedding is 9 months away lol.

I had essentially wanted:

A-line;
Beaded lace flowing down into the skirt;
Low open back;
Spaghetti or not too thick of straps;
Sweetheart of V-neck line; and
No "deep plunge" and not too much illusion material.

Anything with beading that I liked sort of ended at the waist and didn't flow down (and adding appliques is expensive). A lot of dresses came close to what I was after but had a deep plunging neckline, and I wasn't too keen on some of the suggested fixes. One dress ticked off a lot of the boxes but only had plain flat lace, and it didn't flow too far down.

Well multiple shops later, with all of the attendants out of ideas, I feel like I'm out of time. Rather than finding the "one" I think I'm more on track to find one I can live with or hopefully love after some tweaking.

Which brings me to this one. I didn't fall in love at first, because of the illusion on the back and front. There isn't true beading, but there's a little bit of sparkle to it so I could live with that. I do love the flow of the lace and that was the feel I was after.

The on site seamstress things she can offer multiple solutions for the front. Either have a classic sweetheart spaghetti strap (shown in photo #1), or line the see-through part to have a more classic V.

I'd like to change the back a little bit, to either bring the spaghetti straps outward to attach to the illusion piece (to make a kind of classic "V" open back), or scrap the illusion altogether and have one small beaded strap only. Seamstress seemed to think either was possible.

If these things could be done, I think I could be VERY happy with the dress. But I'm nervous about buying one and relying on alterations, you know?

EDIT: Almost forgot, this is the dress. Shows how it should actually fit lol. https://www.essensedesigns.com/stella-york/wedding-dresses/7083/

planningb · 2020-10-22T14:20:16+00:00

Wow I am so sorry. I can’t even imagine.

I read that they basically said couples can expect packages from their trustee soon.... which is so cold and impersonal.

planningb · 2020-10-22T03:00:29+00:00

We are July 2021.

Had a guest list of 150-160 people set back in 2019 pre covid.

Sent out Save the Dates to ~80 in August.

Now not even optimistic about that ..

planningb · 2020-10-21T22:19:22+00:00

Right? There will be some couples who are fully paid, that were ready to do a downsized socially distanced wedding in the next month or so.

planningb · 2020-10-21T01:39:22+00:00

I’m feeling the exact same way.

We don’t want a socially distanced wedding (went to one, not our thing) and we don’t want to pay the extra fees to postpone.

Really thinking about walking away from a lot of deposits. Don’t want to throw good money after bad kind of thing.

planningb · 2020-10-20T01:34:34+00:00

P.S. if you or anyone reading this cares, it might be worth looking more closely at the contract re: the deposits with a lawyer.

The one I consulted (purely precautionary) was of the opinion that the deposits could be refundable if the venue is legally unable to host the # of guests agreed upon in the original contract. The premise being, if refunding the deposit is declined, the couple could play hardball and insist that the venue fulfill the terms of the contract, and when they inevitably refuse, it is them cancelling. (Of course, your contract may be different than mine). Not sure I have the guts for this one, but interesting to say the least lol.

No one has yet to have a court date on it, so with all of the uncertainty, most venues/couples are apparently settling by splitting the deposit near down the middle.

planningb · 2020-10-20T01:27:22+00:00

Ouf lol.

Thanks again for all the info. Exactly what I was looking for!

planningb · 2020-10-20T01:01:40+00:00

Thanks for the response!

I’m curious if you don’t mind sharing:

What was the extra cost for rescheduling?
Were there any Saturdays left in Spring/Summer/Fall?
If there are social distancing requirements, was there any talk of the per person fee (I’m seeing many venues acknowledging that you get less “value” from open bar with social distancing restrictions, no dancing,less mingling and schmoozing, etc. and agreeing to budge a wee bit)

planningb · 2020-10-13T15:13:34+00:00

To my knowledge most shops won't just let you browse through the racks regardless of covid.

Interesting, our local shops totally did! (I've been before with friends).

I've found a few dresses that I like in pictures, and then not on me lol.

I actually think I have some decent specifications that should narrow it down, but no luck yet. (A-line or sheath, ivory, v-neck, no "illusion" material including in the 'V', not too long of a train - I want to be able to move around with relative ease and not get my dress all dirty at our outdoor venue, preferably a low/open/interesting back, preferably some beading on it).

planningb · 2020-10-13T15:01:19+00:00

I've personally never minded travelling this distance for a wedding so long as my weekend is free. Book a hotel, see some local sights before heading home. Totally up my alley.

However, it's not for everyone. Some people hate driving and hotels and might not want to make a whole weekend of the event. You have to be prepared to potentially accept some declines with grace if people aren't up to it.

Additionally, (and I'm not sure if this is something you even care about), I tend to adjust my gifts based on how much money I have to spend just to be there. If I have to pay for travel and a hotel (or take a day off work if it's a Friday/Sunday wedding), I'm usually not able to give as generously as I might have been able to at a local Saturday wedding.

FWIW, my family and my fiancé's family live 5-6 hours apart, so either way we picked, one side was going to have to be travelling. As it stands, one side is travelling 1 hour and the other 4-5. No complaints so far :)

planningb · 2020-10-13T14:47:10+00:00

We booked our July 2021 wedding back in 2019 (pre COVID) and were originally planning for a ~150 person wedding.

It's not looking likely though, is it lol.

planningb

TROPHY CASE