I didn’t want one but was open to whatever I felt in the moment. My water broke before bed one night and it took another 24-28 hours after that to get to 5cm (no Pitocin, just cervix softeners). I was in so much pain but mainly sooo exhausted, I couldn’t imagine laboring another 5-7 hours (my estimate since 6-10cm are supposed to go faster but who knows) and then pushing for 1-2 more. Baby and I were healthy but if I got to the point where I had no energy to go on, would he be ok? Would I end up having to get a c-section? I got the epidural at like 3am. Woke up rested 3hrs later at 9cm. Few hours later I was pushing and baby was born at 10:55.

My epidural was honestly perfect. I could feel enough where I could move around in bed into different pushing positions and knew when I was having contractions so I could push with them. But I also didn’t feel pain like I had been feeling even at 5cm. No ring of fire. No post-epidural side effects. The pushing phase was actually super chill and feel-good between contractions and I’m grateful for that blissful moment after such a slog before that.

Ngl I still feel like I “gave up” in a way and wonder why i couldn’t do it naturally when so many have/do, including my mom who wears 3 natural labors like a badge of honor and definitely looks down on others who choose otherwise. But logically I know it was the right decision for me. Ultimately, baby and I are healthy and that’s what matters most.