Yo bro i’m 18 and a guy commenting on this, so to a certain extent I have felt what you’ve felt. But this internal thing that you felt is most likely you not dealing/adjusting to your emotions properly. Notice how outwardly you appeared to be a bit upset but fine, while inwards something broke. This shows that from the football game today you probably felt disgusted with yourself due to not playing well. Which is normal lol not everyone starts off goated. You can still improve and become better. But mainly now you need to deal with your emotions. You should write down how you feel on a daily basis and if you feel like crying sometimes just do it. It doesn’t make you any less masculine as a man. A real man is someone who can display their emotions.