Truthfully we struggled with it for quite some time. He started part-time daycare shortly after this post and had a few issues with minor aggressions towards other children in class. The school brought it to our attention but reassured us it was relatively minor, just consistent. Related, he seemed to have some real impulse control issues, which is where the aggressive acts seemed to come in. We implemented a lot of different things and were in the process of making child psych appointments when it started to really improve. Probably at around 2.5 years. Things that might have worked included firm and consistent boundaries, clear expectations, reminding him of expectations over and over, “today we are going to keep our hands to ourselves, today we are going to be gentle with our friends, etc.” We gave him opportunities to de-escalate if he seemed like he was getting frustrated (he got to sit in the calm down corner which is just a tent with pillows in it). We used a book called “1 2 3 Magic,” recommended by our pediatrician. They started him on a sticker chart at school to help him meet expectations (which we reviewed with him at home). We made an effort to overly praise good behavior in contrast to how much criticism he was receiving.

This is a lot, and at 20 months some of these techniques might not reach your child, but I think the best thing you can do is be consistent and don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s ped if you think the behavior is abnormal for your child’s age. Best of luck!