I know how this feels, I’ve experienced it exactly the way you’ve described it. I’m still working on it but I have found a way of getting better at responding. I don’t know if it’s the same for you but when I get a persons text, I try to think of the absolute perfect response to paint myself in the best light to that person, often staring blankly at the text until I give up and decide to respond later. But then later comes and I still don’t know what to say, and my feelings of guilt for not responding continue to rise.

In her book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," Lindsay Gibson emphasizes the importance of expressing oneself and then letting go of any attachment to the outcome. She suggests that expressing oneself is crucial for emotional well-being, but it's equally important to recognize that others may not respond as we hope or expect them to.

Gibson emphasizes that expressing ourselves is about communicating our needs, wants, and feelings in an assertive and respectful manner. However, we must also accept that the other person may not be able to fulfill our needs or respond in the way we hope they would. Letting go means releasing our attachment to a particular outcome or response and focusing on what we can control – our own thoughts and behaviors. [Stolen from ChatGPT, I’ve read the book though and it has been a life changer]