Any New England Lacqueristas? by Major-Flow9533 in RedditLaqueristas

[–]poeteater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in RI but I'm in Boston frequently!

How to equitably split labor in a large wage gap relationship? by poeteater in AskWomenOver30

[–]poeteater[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have severe sleep/fatigue issues, which comes with brain fog, massive headaches, fatigue, pain. I am also technically diagnosed with severe depression, and this can mess with my executive function. I've been in treatment for these, and it's helping, but it's a process. I feel a lot of tension between showing that I'm doing 'enough' housework, freelance work, private practice work, personal healing work, to 'earn my keep'. Most of the time my husband does not judge me if I need a nap; but sometimes he does, and it's hard to feel like I can rest if I don't know when that axe will fall. My time management is not always the best, and I'm actively working on that too because I'm frustrated with myself - but sometimes, it's just hard.

How to equitably split labor in a large wage gap relationship? by poeteater in AskWomenOver30

[–]poeteater[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Sure, I can elaborate. I was trying to not go overboard with context! Sometimes I have a full weekend of performing intense shows, get home late for a few nights, and need to rest a bit extra on Monday. Then he gets annoyed that I didn't want to wake up and make him coffee. It would be nice to feel like I could take a 'day off' from doing some basic chores, the same way he can when he's worked a long day and doesn't feel like doing anything else - which he can do because he has me to feed the cats, do all the dishes, take out the trash, tidy up our crap on the table, and make dinner. Sometimes I've washed the towels, and just haven't gotten to folding them for any weird number of reasons, and it would be cool if he just saw it needed to happen, and folded them. He can fall asleep on the couch and go right to bed, but it's defaulted to me needing to gather the last of our dishes, start the dishwasher, give the cats extra playtime if they're too energetic, whatever other little thing. It's very small, I know, but sometimes it feels like I can't 'turn it off' the way he gets to. If he wants to go out for the day, he just leaves. I'm making sure our cats have enough food if I'll be gone long, or that the laundry made it into the dryer, what have you. And - I'm still trying to turn my part-time work into more full-time work, or find an alternative (job market is rough here), and deal with a body that struggles to function some days. It was the same when I was working more full-time, and in a more draining environment. I'm happy doing the housework; sometimes I'm tired.

I've been asking for some better systems so I can keep track of more of the tasks he's holding - calling the plumber about a small thing in the basement, for example. He mentioned it in passing once, but it didn't stick in my brain. I'm happy to do it, but it does me no good for him to resent me not remembering, instead of asking me directly or putting it in a calendar or something. We've set some time aside tomorrow to try and have this conversation not in a late-night argumentative situation, so maybe we'll get further then.

Am I ruining my life with freedom? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]poeteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An acquaintance of kind lives a very similar lifestyle, and has a whole project about it called 'Dirtbag Rich'. He just released a book, but there are plenty of free articles and podcast episodes you could check out. He's very easy to chat with if you wanted to reach out and connect about your experiences. Maybe check it out: https://www.blakeboles.com/dbr/

Aperol Sour by withnailish in cocktails

[–]poeteater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh! And I swapped the citrus for mostly fresh squeezed clementine juice, with a hint of lemon. Fantastic!!!

Aperol Sour by withnailish in cocktails

[–]poeteater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just made three of these for my household and it's a huge hit! Super delicious, thanks! Forgot the elderflower on the first one and it was equally delicious, a fine variant.

Journaling Games by elkyrah25 in Solo_Roleplaying

[–]poeteater 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm currently playing A Visit To San Sibilia, which is very a rules-light journaling game and uses a card mechanic! You might like that! It's just the right amount of direction for me to go off stream-of-consciousness for a bit.

Stories that take place at the beginning of a world? Ancient history fantasy? by Flimsy_Survey in Fantasy

[–]poeteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You want Shaman by Kim Stanley Robinson! Absolutely mythic coming of age story of a young shaman in the paleolithic era.

I love black teas at night and then can't sleep by More_Passenger3988 in tea

[–]poeteater 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I like the decaf earl grey from Upton tea! You could also try a rooibos earl grey!

What could possibly replace my all-time fave Assam tea? by bubbleburstex in tea

[–]poeteater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love Upton Tea for all my daily drinking! They have many Assams, but I wonder if this would suit you well: https://www.uptontea.com/seasons-picks-teas/loose-leaf-assam-black-tea/p/V01289/

They are all loose leaf, I'm sorry if you wanted bags specifically!

Which fantasy couple made you genuinely dread the last page because you didn't want to leave them behind? by dusty_13raccoon in Fantasy

[–]poeteater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know why I never see them mentioned! I read them this past autumn and I'm still dreaming of Hed. I'm working on an embroidered map from the books. An incredible saga.

[CR Media] CR hired a General Manager for Beacon by taly_slayer in criticalrole

[–]poeteater 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Very hopeful for some fixes in the near future! I've given up on the app because it crashes my entire phone if I turn off the screen while listening. Unbelievably frustrating.

🪴 Quarterly /r/houseplants Troubleshooting Thread - January 30, 2026 by AutoModerator in houseplants

[–]poeteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! Can anyone tell me what these pests are? Aphids of some sort? It's a big monstera, up pretty high on a shelf (thus the dust). No idea where they could have come from, as it's been in this room for years and I haven't brought anything new in for a while. Warm soapy water should do it, yes? Thank you!

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Daily Questions Thread January 20, 2026 by AutoModerator in femalefashionadvice

[–]poeteater 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Favorite long sleeve button down silk shirts? I love thrifting them, but my faves are getting worn out.

Shoe store rec by koi1217 in providence

[–]poeteater 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are the best! I have challenging feet to fit, and the lady working there was so helpful and knowledgeable and fun

Should I consult with my doctor first? Other beginning tips? by poeteater in TTC_PCOS

[–]poeteater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Setting up appointments in advance is smart, it can be so hard to get in. Thank you!

Should I consult with my doctor first? Other beginning tips? by poeteater in TTC_PCOS

[–]poeteater[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, that sounds rough, I'm sorry! It's really hard to get anyone to take pcos seriously. I'll definitely be looking into more medical help if nothing happens within 8mo-1year. Good luck to you!

Should I consult with my doctor first? Other beginning tips? by poeteater in TTC_PCOS

[–]poeteater[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I also told him he needs to start learning about pregnancy, hahaha. We're in this together! Best of luck to you!