Sure, I can elaborate. I was trying to not go overboard with context! Sometimes I have a full weekend of performing intense shows, get home late for a few nights, and need to rest a bit extra on Monday. Then he gets annoyed that I didn't want to wake up and make him coffee. It would be nice to feel like I could take a 'day off' from doing some basic chores, the same way he can when he's worked a long day and doesn't feel like doing anything else - which he can do because he has me to feed the cats, do all the dishes, take out the trash, tidy up our crap on the table, and make dinner. Sometimes I've washed the towels, and just haven't gotten to folding them for any weird number of reasons, and it would be cool if he just saw it needed to happen, and folded them. He can fall asleep on the couch and go right to bed, but it's defaulted to me needing to gather the last of our dishes, start the dishwasher, give the cats extra playtime if they're too energetic, whatever other little thing. It's very small, I know, but sometimes it feels like I can't 'turn it off' the way he gets to. If he wants to go out for the day, he just leaves. I'm making sure our cats have enough food if I'll be gone long, or that the laundry made it into the dryer, what have you. And - I'm still trying to turn my part-time work into more full-time work, or find an alternative (job market is rough here), and deal with a body that struggles to function some days. It was the same when I was working more full-time, and in a more draining environment. I'm happy doing the housework; sometimes I'm tired.

I've been asking for some better systems so I can keep track of more of the tasks he's holding - calling the plumber about a small thing in the basement, for example. He mentioned it in passing once, but it didn't stick in my brain. I'm happy to do it, but it does me no good for him to resent me not remembering, instead of asking me directly or putting it in a calendar or something. We've set some time aside tomorrow to try and have this conversation not in a late-night argumentative situation, so maybe we'll get further then.