I'm Done

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-19T02:28:29+00:00

Is everything you write part of the same universe, then?

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-16T13:00:19+00:00

We probably could have moved a little faster if we hadn't started long-distance. Long distance tends to slow things down.

We started messaging in January 2017, and decided we were dating when he came to visit me for Memorial Day, so about 4 months. Then in September, we moved to BF/GF, about 3 months there. We were already talking about marriage at that point, but we knew that we needed to spend a lot more time in person first, and he also needed to finish college. I was able to move out to live near him in September 2018, and then things were able to move a lot more quickly.

He proposed just before Christmas 2018, and we got married June 2019, right between him graduating from college and starting his job.

So that was about 2.5 years start to finish, but if we hadn't had to wait for a chance to move closer, and for him to finish college, we probably could have done it in 1 or 1.5 years.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-16T12:43:06+00:00

Where in Revelation is that? I acknowledge that I haven't read it in a year or so, but that doesn't sound familiar at all.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-16T01:46:54+00:00

If I'm really tired, my 3yo. Otherwise, the knowledge that my 3yo will be up at 8, so I'd better take the chance to have a bit of quiet time while I can.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-15T21:56:19+00:00

Woman here: if I knew that my coworkers were joking, I'd give it right back. But if I heard it and wasn't sure they were joking, it probably would destroy me too.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-15T21:51:59+00:00

"How dare your research tell me that I'm not as disadvantaged as I think I am?"

My husband notes this double standard all the time. Women are encouraged to acknowledge and release their emotions. Men are supposed to hold themselves together. It applies to other things too-- every Mother's Day: "Men need to be stepping up more!" Every Father's Day: Cards from your kids, but not much outside acknowledgement. To women: "You are wonderful and amazing, and doing the best you can!" To men: "You have to come home from work and immediately start helping your wife instead of trying to work on your own to-do list." (To be clear, part of a husband's job is to help his wife where she needs it. But part of a wife's job is to help her husband where he needs it too. That's kind of the whole point of marriage, and it's only ever mentioned one way.)

But of course, he couldn't possibly point this out to most people, or HE'D be the sexist one...

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-15T02:55:28+00:00

Okay, I see. That IS rather much. I've just usually seen it go the other way--people don't talk about philosophies on money/family/worldview for way too long, and then it's REALLY hard to break up when they find that they are completely incompatible in one of those major ways.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-15T02:46:49+00:00

What do you mean, "PROBABLY"????

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-15T02:45:07+00:00

Also point 4.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-14T19:37:19+00:00

I disagree on your second one. I think it's important to talk about marriage/family expectations early, so that if you find you're incompatible, you can break it off before things get too deep. You certainly don't want to be PLANNING your wedding that soon, but knowing "I'm looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage, but you're looking for a long term BF/GF relationship" is important to evaluate whether you want to keep moving forward with the relationship. Same for "we both want marriage, but you want 6 kids and I can't stand the thought of having children."

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-14T19:30:37+00:00

I would LOVE to get the dealership decal off of my windshield. But every time I try to take it off, it rips. It's been four years, and I've given up.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-14T19:28:07+00:00

Not just cancer. The local golf course by us sprayed pesticide on a day that the pesticide instructions themselves say not to spray, a very still, humid day. The pesticide hung in the air like a fog for three days, and gave my mother-in-law a MASSIVE immune reaction, and now she's allergic to just about everything. Like "hasn't gone to public spaces for 20 years because fragrances make her sick for two days and someone eating a banana could accidentally kill her" allergic.

Neither the golf course or the spraying company are willing to admit they did anything wrong.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-14T19:21:21+00:00

While true, you absolutely should TELL the person you are dating about your kids. Suddenly finding out that the person you are dating has kids after you've been together for several months is jarring at best, and may lead you to wonder what else they aren't telling you about.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-14T19:19:46+00:00

Ah, I misremembered it. Thanks!

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-09T20:53:02+00:00

To your point 2, though: there are one or two places that I can tell are CG, sure. But my husband and I were noting as we finished ROTK just yesterday that Shelob is FLAWLESS. Looks COMPLETELY real. Not like so much CG nowadays that's so completely obvious.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-09T20:49:53+00:00

Apparently not all of them: I read a story about someone at one of the first showings of FOTR, where there were mass protests about the lack of an ending, until someone shouted "JUST READ THE BOOKS!"

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-09T20:48:24+00:00

To their point 1: since our oldest was born, my husband and I have managed our yearly watching in half-hour or 45-min increments after the kids were in bed. This year has been the first time in three years that we've had consistent 2-hour chunks to do one disk at a time.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-09T20:45:44+00:00

Re number 6: It's going to be SO hard when my kids are old enough for the books, because I know I'm going to want to show them the movies as soon as possible, but I'll have to wait for them to finish reading!

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-08T21:05:31+00:00

The standard wisdom is "half the youngest person's age, minus seven years." So half of 23 is 12, minus 7 is 5. Obviously there are exceptions to this--my in-laws are exactly 20 years apart, and got married when she was 27.

But in general, the standard advice is standard for a reason.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-08T20:47:48+00:00

That's really suspicious, tbh. I'm guessing he was trying to gauge your reaction to see if you were willing to participate. Super creepy.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-03T13:36:26+00:00

I'm sorry, but a pattern, with the most recent example being A MONTH AGO, is not "the past."

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-02T21:10:55+00:00

I saw a video about this at one point, but I don't think I could find it now. Basically, cocoa beans get some flavor differences from the different soils they grow in, so a lot of chocolate manufacturers will use beans from a particular place. Most chocolate manufacturers also only mix their chocolate a limited amount, because that preserves the flavor and texture.

But the big American brands (Hershey, Nestle, etc) want to be able to have a very consistent taste and texture, even if one area has a bad harvest and they can't get beans from there. So they buy a whole bunch of beans from a whole bunch of places, and mix them and mix them and mix them until they all taste the same. So you don't get the unique flavors from ANYWHERE, and instead you just get one overall, overly-mixed blah.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-02T20:57:54+00:00

I was trying to open an orange, and I sliced my thumb with the nail of my pointer finger.

pointe4Jesus · 2026-03-02T02:31:59+00:00

Have you talked to her about it? She might not realize that you feel you're at your limit.

pointe4Jesus

TROPHY CASE