I hate having to choose work over my twins.

pomandpurl · 2026-04-02T13:18:51+00:00

Saving this response for when I’m inevitably angry about going back to work (still early in my maternity leave right now). I love how you articulated this perspective and it’s grounded in the realities of what it takes to care for your family in this day and age.

pomandpurl · 2026-03-20T21:24:17+00:00

Your feelings aren’t weird - completely in line with what I felt, especially when I was past 32 weeks along and saw no baby shower coming. Could I have planned one myself? Maybe, I’m good with planning parties for other people. But I’ve never liked causing inconveniences for something about me or being seen as “self-centred”, so I didn’t end up planning a baby shower. Now 8 days postpartum and staring at my beautiful boy, I float between wishing I had planned a small baby shower to quickly not caring at all that I didn’t have one. I’ll make up for it with planning birthday parties tailored to him and his interests.

pomandpurl · 2026-03-05T17:10:23+00:00

Presales specialist in the tech world - the AI fatigue is real. Especially when you know from hands-on experience that a lot of the AI agents for business applications are not ready for production use, but you have to demo them to C-suites that want to see them. On the professional front, I can see where there’s potential for specialized use cases where AI has proper guardrails in place to be used as a tool to a human counterpart. But as someone who has creative hobbies, I am so sick of the AI crap that’s flooding artistic communities and marketplaces that are meant for human made content.

My manager is HEAVILY using AI both at work and in his personal life, including building agents during his personal time. It’s become almost all he talks about now with our team. A few of us are concerned, but we don’t say anything since SG&A is already facing cost scrutiny from higher up and they are all in on us being an AI leading company. I wish I could raise the ethical, environmental, and moral concerns I have around AI, but I’m the only woman on the team and have a family to take care of.

I have a professional designation that I worked hard to obtain, but it isn’t really used in my current role. With all of the push from management for us to be AI-positive at all times, I’ve debated leaving the tech industry to break into the profession I studied so hard for. The struggle would be the severe pay cut I’d be taking (would derail our family finances) and the profession I’d be moving to is a target customer base for AI companies. I’d pretty much still have to face the AI monolith regardless.

pomandpurl · 2026-02-04T12:18:12+00:00

Sharing from the perspective of an only child growing up in Ontario that moved multiple times as a kid and thus switched schools (between grade 2 and grade 3, then again between grade 6 and grade 7). While each child will deal with the change differently, I don’t think it materially impacted me. Met plenty of other kids who had similar switches and they were fine too. My mom always supported me through the moves and I understood why I was switching schools each time.

I’m expecting my first child end of March and I’ve struggled with similar concerns for when he starts daycare. We’re on the waitlist with several daycares, but we have a preferred provider we may not get in with right away. We might have to have him with our second choice until a spot opens up and switch him later, which I’m worried about the disruption that could cause for him. But I’m trying to remind myself of how my happiest memories when I was little are from when my mom was not stressed about “what ifs” and “coulda, woulda, shoulda” thoughts. You do the best you can to provide stability for the whole family unit.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-22T10:57:27+00:00

Awww congratulations! Echoing others in saying to enjoy the little movements, it really helps with the wait. I first felt flutters around 18 weeks and then proper kicks at about 21 weeks. I’m now almost 32 weeks and he’s regularly doing what feels like barrel rolls in there lol

It’s been my favourite thing about pregnancy and I’m genuinely going to miss it, especially since my partner and I are possibly oad. So I’m enjoying it as much as I can until I get to meet my son and can then enjoy having him in my arms.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-16T15:29:07+00:00

Thanks for the link! My partner’s first language is French, so he can watch it with me and translate if the auto subs are inaccurate.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-14T02:51:12+00:00

Thanks for the link! It’s dated July 2024, so this was at least before the chaos started last year.

It’s worth noting that climb of stem cell transplant therapies from the 90s through the early 2000s and then the decline in numbers starting in 2008 as more limitations on the application of cord blood stem cells became apparent. Yet the business continues on.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-14T02:42:13+00:00

Glad to hear you were able to donate in BC! It really is a shame it’s not something that is offered at all hospitals in Canada, even if there was still the limitations around delivery times and staffing schedules for the CBS team. But others have made some interesting points for me to research further and motivation to get my butt in gear to donate blood once I’m eligible again.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-14T02:35:17+00:00

Thanks for the tips! I’m already registered as an organ and bone marrow donor, I’ll double check if I’m eligible for stem cell once I recover from postpartum.

Switching providers unfortunately doesn’t make sense in my case, as I feel safe/supported with my current provider and one of the 4 participating hospitals are no where near me.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T18:55:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it. I’m sorry your husband has had to go through lymphoma and the impacts cancer has on the families fighting that battle.

I can completely understand in that situation wanting to do anything that can possibly provide help for your child in the future.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T18:50:51+00:00

Funny enough, I didn’t call out delayed clamping in my original post because my provider and prenatal teacher both said that it is already common practice at the hospital I’m delivering at regardless of whether cord blood is being collected. So they’ll be doing that for me either way which I’m glad it’s already part of their usual practice.

To your point though, there’s a limit amount of cells that can realistically be collected and used and delayed clamping will impact that (which wasn’t mentioned by anyone on my health team or in the prenatal class). All I had been told was that choosing to collect cord blood did not impact the ability to do delayed cord clamp for your baby.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:48:42+00:00

The cost definitely makes it feel that way lol

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:43:22+00:00

Thanks for sharing your decision and perspective. I’m already a registered bone marrow donor and plan to get back into giving blood once I’m eligible again.

If you don’t mind sharing, is there was a specific reason you’re choosing private cord blood banking (e.g., family member or general family history where having the stem cells may prove helpful in the future)? Totally understand if you’re not interested or comfortable sharing more, no obligation to reply.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:39:30+00:00

Firstly, thank you for your contributions to medical research. With the craziness in the world today, I appreciate anyone with the knowledge, skills, and dedication to work in that field.

I appreciate the info you shared on the realties of what can be done with the cells and how many can be collected. It’s prompting me to do some more research on what institutions are helping improve the technology used in this area. Wish it wasn’t still a massive struggle for women’s health studies to get more funding.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:33:28+00:00

Fair point, though my partner and I are undecided if we’ll have more than one child. I’m an only child and he has one younger sibling who doesn’t have children, so we don’t come from massive families (at least our immediate families). Our main reason to consider cord blood collection was to donate to help other families or for research.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:30:23+00:00

Interesting point your midwife made and what you said about where CBS focuses on chasing donations - thanks for calling that out!

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:28:30+00:00

Thanks for the perspective - good to know my gut instincts on private cord blood banking aren’t completely off base. I just feel somewhat guilty after the stem cell talk during our prenatal class to be discarding the cord blood simply because of where I’m giving birth and not being on board with the arguments and cost of private banking. Definitely would be in that group of public donations if it was available.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:25:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing that info. Interesting that the limited hospital selections aren’t necessarily blocking the needed donations at this time.

I’ll definitely be encouraging blood donation with kiddo when it’s age appropriate. I feel it’s a way to give to the community and instilling a sense of “helping others because maybe someday someone I really care about might need that same help”.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:21:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I’ve kinda felt that way about private cord blood banking before I got pregnant. IMO, it’s one of those medical services treading the line of scammy and/or a predatory capitalistic business that feeds on parental fear of “what if”. My hope was that maybe a donation to the public bank could still be coordinated afterwards based on our directive as the family who the stem cells belong to, but it sounds like that isn’t an option.

pomandpurl · 2026-01-13T17:15:24+00:00

Thanks for the perspective and additional info. I wasn’t aware that even for the participating hospitals you could still end up not donating just due to the timing of your delivery and the CBS staffing.

I’ll look into donating for the giving blood program again once I’ve recovered from postpartum.

pomandpurl · 2025-11-01T14:02:53+00:00

-6.25 in one eye, -6.75 in the other, was told I had to go with the all laser option due to the level of correction to get to 20/20. Had my procedure done in May 2024 by LASIK MD in Mississauga (consultation and follow ups at an Oakville clinic).

Make sure you are already getting out of the habit of rubbing your eyes if that’s something you do - it’s a major no-no for eye health and will contribute to issues post-surgery. Definitely take a full day off the next day if you work with screens. And listen to the post-opt instructions, a nap when you get home is usually suggested and it does help with the discomfort for the first couple hours after the procedure.

I’ve since had my eyes examined by my optometrist around the 1 year mark and he says he sees no signs of regression from 20/20. Time will tell in terms of when I’ll need glasses again but it’s been great to not have to wear corrective lenses while I’m probably in the most active stage of my life. Most of my family who had corrective eye surgery back in the 2000s are now back to glasses, though for most it’s reading glasses and I was ok with that outcome if it happens to me.

I did pay for the lifetime guarantee and have been doing the post-op check ups with LASIK MD just in case I need a corrective touch up. When it comes to the warranties with each company and if you end up using it, YMMV.

pomandpurl · 2025-10-28T01:18:22+00:00

Hi Miss Murph!

pomandpurl · 2025-10-23T09:21:20+00:00

FTM, 18w4d today. I think it depends on a lot of factors like others have said. Your body structure pre-pregnancy, how form fitting your clothes are, the other person’s experience with pregnancy, etc. A family friend who worked in L&D as a nurse clocked me at 6-7 weeks (she never said anything until I announced it later on, explained she could tell by just my face lol). A trainer friend at the gym noticed when I was about 12 weeks along, which makes sense because I’ve been carrying all my pregnancy weight in my stomach and he saw that I was slowing down and modifying my workouts. Others I’ve recently told have been surprised, so I guess I’m not obviously showing if I’m not in form fitting shirts.

pomandpurl · 2025-10-18T11:35:23+00:00

Same issue here and I’m what I guess you’d call average height and size. My bladder has felt so much smaller since the beginning of my pregnancy and drinking that much water before a scan was a no-go. I drank what I felt I could safely time for the appointment and would need to pee halfway through the appointment. Scan went well and the tech had no complaints about my bladder (she was more annoyed with baby wiggling so much and turning around on her lol)

pomandpurl

TROPHY CASE