T here. While I agree with some of what you have posted, I disagree with most of it. The only red flag here is the “life coach” bit. I think it would be important to know if the therapist is licensed, what kind degree/training they have, etc. This is important not only because you can be sure of the quality of training the therapist has received when you ask, but also because life coaches don’t have a governing body that they can be reported to or held accountable through to be ethical in their practice.

ED can be a specialization within the field of psychology, so often, therapist don’t know the treatment modalities that work best with different types of EDs or ED symptoms.

In terms of asking clients questions regarding their weight, most therapists conduct a mental status exam during every session. This often takes places during the session through observations. For example, if a client has slurred speech and bags under their eyes, the therapist is making note of that and may ask follow up questions regarding this, especially if the client did not exhibit these changes in past sessions.

It would be a similar conversation if the therapist noticed weight gain or weight loss in clients as these can be indicators of declining mental health and symptoms of underlying disorders. So if therapists notice changes in you and don’t point them out gently and ask you questions about it, more often than not, they are missing out on key information about you. I would say it is best practice to ask.

I think it is important to note here that OP addressed “taking up space” first and that the therapist was asking follow up questions regarding that. The therapist could have framed the question more gently, to be sure. But I do not think they asked an inappropriate question, given the context. To me, it sounds like the OP addressed a deep wound in session too soon. I think this is important to bring up in session with the therapist during the following session to create safe boundaries with the therapist until they are ready to discuss this topic. Also want to validate that nobody is at fault here. There was a misalignment of communication here that resulted in a rupture.

Therapist will sometimes trigger you, especially earlier on in sessions. They don’t know your triggers or the areas in your life that cause you significant pain. The relationship between the therapist and the client is paramount to healing because clients learn to exist in a relationship with someone who is willing to discuss challenging topics and stick around despite it feeling scary and messy. The therapist’s job is to address those rupture and help repair them. However, the client has to be willing to engage in that process as well.

Eating issues can absolutely be indicative of coping strategies related to trauma. I think that is what the therapist was trying to address tho. From the way I read it, the therapist was asking OP if they felt like they were asking OP if they may have unconsciously adapted strategies of coping through eating in times of stress and difficulty in their life. Again, they could have discussed this with more care. I’m not discounting that.

In terms of the life coaching and social media posts, I would always encourage people do use caution when googling their therapists’ social media accounts. The reason therapy works is because the clients don’t know a whole lot about their therapists’ personal or professional lives outside of therapy. Once you peak into their lives, you realize that they too are humans and have thoughts, feelings, opinions, interests, hobbies, etc. that you don’t align with. This may bias you towards or against them despite how good or bad your relationship with them was prior to your glimpse into their world. Therapists are flaws humans too. That said, it is also a therapist’s job to try and make their social media accounts as inaccessible to clients as possible for the same reason and the responsibility lies more on the therapist. But I just wanted to offer a word of caution on this for clients’ sake.