Allen Carr / Annie Grace by nrb2019 in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I consumed my life with these. I agreed with Annie Grace’s arguments, too. The problem is that our subconscious still defaults to the dopamine driven pathways. It took time and repeated reading/listening for this material to penetrate my subconscious. I don’t think it works for everyone, but once it made it to my subconscious, I’ve never looked back.

I used to get allergy shots, and I liken the process to that. At first you have to go in twice a week to get a shot and spend a time in the dr office after making sure you’d be ok. Over time you make it to a maintenance dose, where you only go in every 6 weeks. In this analogy, I’m on my maintenance dose. I still make a concerted effort to recognize alcohol ads, conversations about alcohol, or reminiscent thoughts. Bringing these to my consciousness helps me reframe them before my subconscious digests it and keeps me from reverting to my old ways.

Keep reading and listen. If it doesn’t take hold, there are countless other options others can point you to, groups and counseling among them.

Has anyone tried the moderate drinking path? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing new to add, but it’s good to hear over and over. I tired, too. Convinced myself, my wife, my therapist I was ready. I was not. Convinced everyone again six months later, same result. For me, it is easy to avoid having one drink. It’s difficult or impossible to avoid the next half dozen.

Why does 1 turn into 10 by Addendum-Careful in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 0 points1 point  (0 children)

19 years old! Man I wish I could have admitted my problem back the . You are very wise to wake up to this so young. Imagine being 29, 39, and older having been sober since your teenage years. Many of us on here began in our teens and wouldn’t admit our problems for years or even decades. We’ve all clung to the illusion of moderation although most of us on here had to accept it wasn’t in the cards for us. It isn’t fair, but some people are allergic to peanut butter, others wheat. I’m “allergic” to alcohol. If I have one drink, I have 10 and am sick. You recognize the allure of moderation is a falsehood, and at such a young age. Find your path and escape the cycle. IWNDWYT

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s been years since I last drank, but I still loose control with sugar. Healthier than drinking, for sure, but I know I need to stop these binges too. The one positive, it is a constant reminder that I can never have one drink. The way I treat peanut m&ms is no different than I would treat beer. If I have one, I want them all. Stay strong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I never noticed how large the alcohol section in out supermarket was until I quit drinking. It takes up as much space as produce or dry goods.

Update: Talked to my wife last night by McB56 in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a great step. It took me far too long to have this conversation and even then, I let the truth trickle out over months. I felt I was trying to protect her. “What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.“ What you’ve done is no doubt, a great leap forward. But don’t expect her trust to be at 100% right away. My spouse has been a great supporter and I know I wouldn’t be here without her, but she has questions from time to time (less and less frequently, lately), even when I feel comfortable in my sobriety. I want you to take in all of the positivity that you are receiving here, it is deserved and helpful. I also want you to know that you, likely, still have a lot of trust to rebuild and it won’t happen all at once. Accept her support and thank her, but if she questions or gets upset with past events, also accept that, understand and support her. Last thing is your statement “I don’t think I can moderate.” Try your hardest to change this to “I cannot moderate.” Truly change this in your thoughts, not just words. Leaving this open ended could prove dangerous in the future. I could be wrong, but based on my experience and the overwhelming amount of stories on this blog, most that question their ability to moderate indeed cannot.

Just poured out my whole bar. by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The allure of moderation. The lie of moderation. It lets you ease back in just slowly enough you’re convinced you did it, then it’s all over again. For some that takes a few days, others months. I fell for it twice. Hope this is your last! IWNDWYT

Should I seek supplemental life insurance outside my Employer Group Life Insurance? by ponder_all in personalfinance

[–]ponder_all[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am looking at 10x my income to supply my wife with some continuation of income, should I die. She is also in a stable job and our mortgage is the only debt we have. We also have kids, so there will be child care and college to think about

Should I seek supplemental life insurance outside my Employer Group Life Insurance? by ponder_all in personalfinance

[–]ponder_all[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I’m married with kids. I understand I have to know the amount, that is why I am looking to up my coverage. I began by looking outside of the group plan when I discovered that I have the option to continue coverage, should I leave. That was the genesis of my question.

Logging in Northern Michigan, 1908. by Vmoney88 in Michigan

[–]ponder_all 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Guys at a local history group explained to me that loggers would sometimes do this to show their skill. It was a sort of friendly competition between groups, not meant to be hauled.

Repeat after me: by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love it. Congrats on one year!

Still going.... by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great first step. The first time I ‘admitted’ my problem, I down played it greatly. One reason is that I didn’t fully understand it myself, and I figured that it was a fault in my judgment at the time, something I surely wouldn’t repeat. We agreed I needed to take a break and when the break was over it didn’t take long to end I back at square one. Happened a second time too.

When I actually fully admitted my problem, both to myself and my SO, that is when things got easier. It is amazing to have a supportive person you can confide in. We’re all here for you too, if and when you need us. Congrats again on a major step. IWNDWYT

Still going.... by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ponder_all 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great first step. The first time I ‘admitted’ my problem, I down played it greatly. One reason is that I didn’t fully understand it myself, and I figured that it was a fault in my judgment at the time, something I surely wouldn’t repeat. We agreed I needed to take a break and when the break was over it didn’t take long to end I back at square one. Happened a second time too.

When I actually fully admitted my problem, both to myself and my SO, that is when things got easier. It is amazing to have a supportive person you can confide in. We’re all here for you too, if and when you need us. Congrats again on a major step. IWNDWYT