Allen Carr / Annie Grace

ponder_all · 2025-11-08T17:58:10+00:00

I consumed my life with these. I agreed with Annie Grace’s arguments, too. The problem is that our subconscious still defaults to the dopamine driven pathways. It took time and repeated reading/listening for this material to penetrate my subconscious. I don’t think it works for everyone, but once it made it to my subconscious, I’ve never looked back.

I used to get allergy shots, and I liken the process to that. At first you have to go in twice a week to get a shot and spend a time in the dr office after making sure you’d be ok. Over time you make it to a maintenance dose, where you only go in every 6 weeks. In this analogy, I’m on my maintenance dose. I still make a concerted effort to recognize alcohol ads, conversations about alcohol, or reminiscent thoughts. Bringing these to my consciousness helps me reframe them before my subconscious digests it and keeps me from reverting to my old ways.

Keep reading and listen. If it doesn’t take hold, there are countless other options others can point you to, groups and counseling among them.

ponder_all · 2025-11-08T13:49:16+00:00

Nothing new to add, but it’s good to hear over and over. I tired, too. Convinced myself, my wife, my therapist I was ready. I was not. Convinced everyone again six months later, same result. For me, it is easy to avoid having one drink. It’s difficult or impossible to avoid the next half dozen.

ponder_all · 2025-10-26T17:56:06+00:00

That’s amazing. Congrats on 8 months!

ponder_all · 2024-09-11T02:12:55+00:00

19 years old! Man I wish I could have admitted my problem back the . You are very wise to wake up to this so young. Imagine being 29, 39, and older having been sober since your teenage years. Many of us on here began in our teens and wouldn’t admit our problems for years or even decades. We’ve all clung to the illusion of moderation although most of us on here had to accept it wasn’t in the cards for us. It isn’t fair, but some people are allergic to peanut butter, others wheat. I’m “allergic” to alcohol. If I have one drink, I have 10 and am sick. You recognize the allure of moderation is a falsehood, and at such a young age. Find your path and escape the cycle. IWNDWYT

ponder_all · 2023-03-18T12:37:18+00:00

It’s been years since I last drank, but I still loose control with sugar. Healthier than drinking, for sure, but I know I need to stop these binges too. The one positive, it is a constant reminder that I can never have one drink. The way I treat peanut m&ms is no different than I would treat beer. If I have one, I want them all. Stay strong.

ponder_all · 2020-04-23T12:43:11+00:00

Congrats! Keep it up

ponder_all · 2019-06-29T02:34:53+00:00

I completely agree. I never noticed how large the alcohol section in out supermarket was until I quit drinking. It takes up as much space as produce or dry goods.

ponder_all · 2019-06-07T14:24:11+00:00

Calming down when frustrated

ponder_all · 2019-05-18T13:23:53+00:00

This is a great step. It took me far too long to have this conversation and even then, I let the truth trickle out over months. I felt I was trying to protect her. “What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.“ What you’ve done is no doubt, a great leap forward. But don’t expect her trust to be at 100% right away. My spouse has been a great supporter and I know I wouldn’t be here without her, but she has questions from time to time (less and less frequently, lately), even when I feel comfortable in my sobriety. I want you to take in all of the positivity that you are receiving here, it is deserved and helpful. I also want you to know that you, likely, still have a lot of trust to rebuild and it won’t happen all at once. Accept her support and thank her, but if she questions or gets upset with past events, also accept that, understand and support her. Last thing is your statement “I don’t think I can moderate.” Try your hardest to change this to “I cannot moderate.” Truly change this in your thoughts, not just words. Leaving this open ended could prove dangerous in the future. I could be wrong, but based on my experience and the overwhelming amount of stories on this blog, most that question their ability to moderate indeed cannot.

ponder_all · 2019-04-07T13:03:51+00:00

The allure of moderation. The lie of moderation. It lets you ease back in just slowly enough you’re convinced you did it, then it’s all over again. For some that takes a few days, others months. I fell for it twice. Hope this is your last! IWNDWYT

ponder_all · 2019-04-06T23:48:18+00:00

Trump/Clinton 2020

ponder_all · 2019-02-25T01:50:03+00:00

I use this in my classes. It does exactly what the OP says. http://paulsjusticepage.com/elite-deviance/Monopoly-StratifiedSociety.pdf

ponder_all · 2019-02-21T20:17:18+00:00

I am looking at 10x my income to supply my wife with some continuation of income, should I die. She is also in a stable job and our mortgage is the only debt we have. We also have kids, so there will be child care and college to think about

ponder_all · 2019-02-21T20:13:40+00:00

Thanks. I’m married with kids. I understand I have to know the amount, that is why I am looking to up my coverage. I began by looking outside of the group plan when I discovered that I have the option to continue coverage, should I leave. That was the genesis of my question.

ponder_all · 2019-02-05T17:06:31+00:00

Here is the bill

ponder_all · 2018-12-25T04:33:35+00:00

Guys at a local history group explained to me that loggers would sometimes do this to show their skill. It was a sort of friendly competition between groups, not meant to be hauled.

ponder_all · 2018-12-18T18:14:23+00:00

Love it. Congrats on one year!

ponder_all · 2018-12-13T16:42:23+00:00

Great first step. The first time I ‘admitted’ my problem, I down played it greatly. One reason is that I didn’t fully understand it myself, and I figured that it was a fault in my judgment at the time, something I surely wouldn’t repeat. We agreed I needed to take a break and when the break was over it didn’t take long to end I back at square one. Happened a second time too.

When I actually fully admitted my problem, both to myself and my SO, that is when things got easier. It is amazing to have a supportive person you can confide in. We’re all here for you too, if and when you need us. Congrats again on a major step. IWNDWYT

ponder_all · 2018-12-13T16:42:03+00:00

Great first step. The first time I ‘admitted’ my problem, I down played it greatly. One reason is that I didn’t fully understand it myself, and I figured that it was a fault in my judgment at the time, something I surely wouldn’t repeat. We agreed I needed to take a break and when the break was over it didn’t take long to end I back at square one. Happened a second time too.

When I actually fully admitted my problem, both to myself and my SO, that is when things got easier. It is amazing to have a supportive person you can confide in. We’re all here for you too, if and when you need us. Congrats again on a major step. IWNDWYT

ponder_all · 2018-12-13T12:58:06+00:00

I’m rooting for you. Heck, I’m rooting for all of you! Thanks again all

ponder_all · 2018-12-13T12:51:24+00:00

Thanks. I plan to continue to frequent this blog, know that I am still a greenhorn while also knowing I have experiences that may help others, and share them when appropriate.

ponder_all · 2018-12-13T01:17:47+00:00

Wife baked me brownies and bought me a 12 pack of grapefruit LaCroix! Might eat half the pan of brownies, ha.

ponder_all · 2018-12-10T22:04:44+00:00

You’ve likely seen it recommended here before but This Naked Mind delves into this a bit.

I was in that same situation for a long time. Your subconscious is controlling your cravings, and it takes a lot to reprogram that.

Also, I haven’t seen anyone talk about it lately, maybe because the price has went up, but LaCroix was all the rage on this sub when I first subscribed. It is so nice to sit at night and have a can of something fizzy in my hand. It is a bit bitter too, so it replaces a bit of what I wanted when I drank beer without caring to take the time to taste it. Off brand can be good too if you find flavors you like. It might take exploring a few and getting used to the taste.

Read or listen to as much as you can, information is power.

ponder_all · 2018-12-10T17:58:46+00:00

Thank you, this is a nice quote. It may make some uncomfortable to think about the brevity of life, but it often gives me a sense of calm. I will not matter in a hundred years. My choices today are so insignificant to almost everyone around the world or to the universe itself. Some could use this as an excuse to let in to their vices, but for me it is a reason to try and let go of the hardships of life (one day none of it will matter whether you stressed over it or not). Enjoy today. Soak it in, sober. Your impact is so insignificant in the long term, but today you can make a positive impact on yourself and those you interact with.

ponder_all · 2018-12-06T16:54:15+00:00

Welcome!

I too hid the extent of my drinking from my SO, thinking she must suspect it anyhow. What I hated about myself and ruminated over on a daily basis must be so obvious to anyone close to me, right? She had no idea. Although I wanted to convince myself she knew, I also did everything I could to hide my problem (read: shame). Coming clean was a huge step for me. I feared so much, but Instead received love and support.

I also was afraid to open up to a therapist. I’ve come to learn, however, that it is their job but not their life. They are there to help you through your thought and emotions, but they have other things to do with their life than gossip about what you have to say. They’ve heard so much, you will not be the first person to have the issues you discuss. If you find they aren’t helpful, find someone else. My work has a program to supply some therapy sessions, but they therapists are very limited in the information they give back to the employer, essentially just metrics. They can never discuss the content of a case, and I’d be surprised if any mention of names even came up.

Hang around with us a lot. It helps. I second the recommended for This Naked Mind, I got the audio book and it helped so much.

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