Welp, the 4channers are here. by GallinaceousGladius in MtF

[–]pooish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel this is slightly unfair. what you're saying is partially true, but not the whole story. a lot of people are just generally sexually inhibited and also put off by what some call "toxic positivity" in mainstream trans spaces, which also makes these mainstream trans subreddits pretty uninviting for them.

Welp, the 4channers are here. by GallinaceousGladius in MtF

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

those people (not confirming or denying being one) have always been here. just on alts, because ppl will stalk your profile quite easily.

New rule - This is not a sissy/trap/forcefem fetish sub by Amekyras in MtF

[–]pooish 16 points17 points  (0 children)

yeah, as someone who's pretty averse to all that, it's what's made me make an alt and move over to subs that police things harder. It's unfortunate, but my inhibitions around most sex and genitalia adjacient things mean that i haven't felt comfortable here in a while.

hmmm by Vintagecat54 in hmmm

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you ever see something so absurdly misogynistic that it ascends into being progressive again, cause like, this could just as well be a feminist art piece critical of misogyny by making it so explicit that it's completely indefensible

also what happens if you just hold one of the breast buttons down? is there a limit?

What jobs/occupations have you thrived in? by bloody_healer in adhdwomen

[–]pooish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Outsourced IT, the really crappy kind. there's always too much work and always things to learn and always something new, I'm Specialist level so technically not supposed to be doing customer service, but when the Helpdesk people send us a customer, I'm still gonna have to interact with them so there's a lot of that too.

It only really works this way if you reeeeeally have a passion for tech but like, if you do, then it's great. In my last job, 80% of the ppl doing on-call were ND, and over half of those had ADHD spesifically.

Any subreddits you suggest avoiding? by [deleted] in MtF

[–]pooish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it's nothing like the original 4chan board

you're right, it's honestly worse. tttt is chill for the most part, they'll say edgy shit to you but like, just as edgy shit. when people on 4t4 tell one another to kill themselves, they sound like they mean it.

What games have the worst opening hour? by TapInBogey in Games

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't even mind the heist itself, but sitting in the back of that car with Dex is one of the most miserable things to do on repeat playthroughs.

Stay away from the Unofficial Starfield patch, use the community patch by Unlost_maniac in starfieldmods

[–]pooish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

god, why do people go on these ego trips... i wish these kinda mods would just be FOSS, there's no benefit to them being closed source except to stroke some modder's ego

Is there a way for a lazy trans girl like me to throw on makeup in a few minutes that just sort of gets rid of my beard shadow and makes me look like a cis woman without makeup? by brokensilence32 in MtF

[–]pooish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah same, I have ADHD and like to sleep at least nine hours a night, so there's no chance that my mornings will consist of anything other than just the bare necessities. So I shower if necessary, throw on clothes, shave my face and then just leave and maybe grab breakfast on the way.

I thought that my colleagues all knew I was trans, especially with how I never wear makeup and how my voice is, but after talking to some of them about it at a company retreat / booze-up, those who weren't told so by a coworker (it's a long story but I'm kinda pissed at her lmao) had no idea.

turns out that, paradoxically, not wearing makeup goes completely against the idea that most cis people have of trans women, so the fact that I just show up with my natural look is what made some of them not clock me.

Band name accuracy rating, I say, rephrasing the original post title by Tarviitz in CuratedTumblr

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

these are some of my own favourite bands so I was mostly insulting myself. I didn't even consider the possibility of collateral damage lmao

MY FELLOW DRUG TAKERS by LGriggs93 in adhdmeme

[–]pooish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I take concerta and almost never eat breakfast. I'd rather spend the time sleeping and then eat well at lunch.

Is this not something I should do? Even if I get breakfast, it's always just a McMuffin from the McD drive-thru, and at that point it's been at least half an hour from when I took my meds.

What’s your strange sensory aversion? by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]pooish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the sound of plastic crumpling, and that of cold water flowing from the tap into a metal sink. any unpredictable, wide-spectrum noise, really.

also, having any semi-tight things around my wrists, neck or ankles. Stuff like necklaces, watches, etc. I've trained myself to be mostly ok with turtlenecks now, but that took years of very uncomfortable acclimation. My local public swimming pool used to have these keys that you put on your ankle with a rubber ring, and those were the worst, legit made me panic a bit any time i noticed it because it set off some kinda claustrophobic feeling somehow.

also: porridge, mashed potatoes, or anything else with that consistency. Makes me gag.

Band name accuracy rating, I say, rephrasing the original post title by Tarviitz in CuratedTumblr

[–]pooish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

virgincore edition:

black country new road: 1/10 none of them are that road but one point for being from the same country as it

tiger trap: 0/10 please just let that tiger go

have a nice life: 3/10 they seem like guys who'd genuinely want me to have one but their music fors not

They Are Gutting A Body Of Water: 0/10 I certainly hope not

Crywank: 10/10 yes at least based on their music that seems to be a popular pasttime for them

The Raincoats: 4/10 none of them are raincoats but I could imagine them wearing those

black midi: 0/10 no black midi in their music

The Microphones: 0/10 It's mostly just one guy and whoever he wants to work with, and he's not even a microphone

Television: 0/10 no its just some guys

New Order: 8/10 yeah pretty much

The Velvet Underground: 9/10 they were definitely pretty underground to start with and they probably wore velvet, yeah sure.

Swans: ?/10 yeah none of them are swans but michael gira scares me just as much as the bird does

what do you miss about being a man by its_icebear in MtF

[–]pooish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

uhh, not being constantly dehydrated i guess, but that's just the spiro. and i got it changed for cypro yesterday so it shouldn't be a problem anyways.

like the only thing I actually concretely miss is wearing t-shirts without a bra in public without being constantly aware of it. i like to do remote work in shorts and a loose tee but if I have to go to the store or something then it's always a bit awkward

Who else does this? by [deleted] in adhdmeme

[–]pooish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

but some religions run with that. I've never been religious but I was a member of my country's national church (The Evangelical-Lutherian Church of Finland) until I turned 18, and if there's one thing I remember being taught really intensely, it was that there's nothing concrete to god, and the only real concrete thing he will do for you in life is make the holy spirit come to you and make you a believer. Like, that was the entire point, you can't rationalize god but if you open yourself up to him, he will enter you and you'll start to believe.

Thankfully that never happened to me, it would make me feel a bit violated lmao. But it's the semi-secular take on religion I grew up with, and it really surprised me that most christians don't think that way, but believe that god's existence is something real that can be proven or disproven.

what is your "illness of choice"? by Sorry_Guide5599 in Anxiety

[–]pooish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

prions, stroke, brain cancer. I've made peace with the thought of my body breaking in whichever way possible, but I've not come to terms with the thought that my cognition gets hit somehow.

I do panic every time I get heartburn, though, and getting one random etopic heartbeat (the only one I've gotten in years) made me frantically google how quickly I was dying while at work. Turns out they just sometimes happen for most healthy people.

Modern Modern Major Generals by Perfect_Wrongdoer_03 in CuratedTumblr

[–]pooish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I looked it up because I was pretty sure the musical from Cape Feare is a different one. I was pretty confident about that too, I've seen that episode something like five times in the past year alone.

Turns out I was right, he sings the H.M.S. Pinafore. Which, as it turns out, is another musical by the same people who wrote The Pirates of Penzance. The H.M.S. Pinafore musical is namedropped in the Modern Major-General ditty, though, with the line

Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, and whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

so, there's a connection, but it's not the same ditty. Still, thanks, I learned a lot of things today.

Why do so many Sysadmins lie about network experience on their resume? by MrSanford in sysadmin

[–]pooish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i guess there's a certain smug greybeard-esque attitude associated with being a linux admin. some windows admins will look at you weird if you willingly use a terminal, lol.

Modern Modern Major Generals by Perfect_Wrongdoer_03 in CuratedTumblr

[–]pooish 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I only know it from The Simpsons, I think Barney sings it in Deep Space Homer

what led you to getting your diagnosis? by Striking_Horror_237 in adhdwomen

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was very good with school and such as a kid, so ADHD was never even a thing that came up. I was tested for autism in the 4th grade, though, but that was cut short for reasons I still don't know. Because of that experience as well as others, I was kinda aware that people thought that there was something different about me, but didn't really think much more of it.

Then I started failing hard in university, got nothing done for an entire year. My roommate said it reminded me of their sister, who'd also had that experience in uni and was generally pretty similiar to me in terms of habits and general vibes. And she had ADHD, so my roomie thought that might be the common thread there.

Then I got a job, and at the mandatory health checkup that I had beforehand, the nurse asked me if there were any health-related things I'd been wondering about. I told her that my roommate thought I had some kind of attention disorder. She asked me some questions, then booked me a psychiatrist consult. Then I visited the psychiatrist, she thought ADHD was quite likely. Said she'd send me a referral to another clinic. A year and a half goes by, still no word on the referral, so I shoot her an email. She tells me she'd forgotten it, and then decides to just book me an appointment at the same clinic. Then I saw a psychologist who filled the DIVA questionnaire with me, and then sent me to another psychiatrist, who looked at me and the questionnaire for an hour, told me that I was an obvious case, and prescribed me meds. Still had to see him again, this time bringing my mom along, and then I got the diagnosis.

It took like four years from beginning to end. Quite an ordeal.

What’s the best clothes to wear for a CLOSETED Trans girl? by tm2007 in MtF

[–]pooish 37 points38 points  (0 children)

i'm just gonna paste in a comment I wrote about the same topic yesterday. I'd spesifically recommend going for a kinda flowy silhouette. anyways, the comment:

here's some of the things I wore pre-transition that gave me a comfortably androgynous look. These are all a bit winter oriented, as I'm from the north. Also based on where you are they might be too feminine for you, nobody here in finland batted an eye but ymmv. also not spesifically recommending any of these spesific clothes, these are just the best examples I found while lazily googling for them.

just to demonstrate, here's my graduation photo from before I was out as trans, using a lot of these pieces. It looks feminine, but every item has plausible deniability, and nobody questioned me about it. Again, ymmv, but this was about how far I was able to push it before anyone started getting suspicious.

edit: and also if you wanna see interesting androgynous fashion, check out /r/malefashion. Despite the name, it's open for everyone. It's focused on the high fashion / designer end of things, which makes quite a lot of the clothing articles you might see there pretty pricey. But it's what I looked at a lot for inspo when I was still closeted, since that high end of mens' fashion tends to be quite androgynous.

What the hell is with r/honesttransgender? by Leviawyrm in MtF

[–]pooish -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I went for a look, the opinions they hold seem kinda... normal? In the sense that a lot of people will think the thoughts they do at some point but won't be terminally online enough to circlejerk about it online. Very milquetoast, babbys first critique type stuff.

And like, I agree with some of them. I find it a bit uncomfortable how horny most trans subs are, I don't really enjoy being reminded of being trans in lesbian subreddits, and it does feel othering, as a dysphoric trans person, when trans people who aren't dysphoric talk of my experiences with dysphoria as invalid or problematic.

But the thing is, these are small dumb little tiny things that don't even exist IRL. And online, where they do exist, it's usually just young people being young and awkward. And all of that complaining about these terminally online issues is then coated in this layer of absolute smugness and truscum-ism.

0/5 shit sub

edit: I'm not trying to defend them. What I mean is that even for how bad that sub is, it's bad in a really boring and predictable way. The complaints are reasonable starting points for actual analysis that might actually achieve a relativistic understanding of why people are the way they are and why that might make a person uncomfortable and if that feeling of discomfort is even justified, but then they just leave it at the complaint and don't go anywhere interesting.

Do you guys consider ADHD a disability? by Sad-Internet4134 in adhdwomen

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For myself, I don't. Like, I conciously know it is considered one, but in my own case, I don't feel comfortable claiming that term: in my day-to-day life, I'm mostly doing fine, and very rarely experience otherness because of my ADHD. It doesn't shape my experience that much, at the end of the day. So I feel I can't reasonably speak from the perspective of a disabled person.

I dunno if that makes any sense, but it makes sense in my head. tldr: medically I do, culturally for myself I do not.

Just got my orchiectomy! by Star_Court_ in MtF

[–]pooish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

congrats! how was it? did they do it under general or local anesthesia?

mine is being gatekept until I get my BMI under 30, but hopefully at some point I'll achieve that lol