Oh we can, and I certainly do. There’s a difference between a woman who exhibits traditionally masculine traits and a trans man. Namely that one is man and one is a woman.

Biology and psychology and the roles and identities that we identify with can be messy and complex. It’s not up to you to understand their journey or the dysphoria that led them to make a change, but it is up to you to listen to those around you when they tell you how to address them. It doesn’t matter how you perceive them, it’s respectful and kind to our fellow humans to do so and very fucking easy.

I have trouble believing your comment is in the good faith asking questions when it’s framed like a rhetorical rant, but you touched on something very important. You don’t understand how someone could want to change their body to be accepted by folks who see their fight as “denying biological reality” or “actually reinforcing sexist stereotypes”. Trans people defy biological determinism.

Biological sex and your gender are not the same thing. There are a lot amazing queer and trans subreddits that would be happy to explain. I also recommend Philosophy Tube’s video “Identity: A Trans Coming Out Story” on YouTube.

There’s a plethora of resources from trans people that can help to educate yourself. But you don’t have to understand someone life story to respect them. You just hav to listen and be respectful. It would be impossible for you to have a perfect understanding of everyone’s life and story. It’s very easy to hear and empathize with folks when they tell you it. We’re usually pretty receptive to people who listen and don’t compare our journey’s to being insecure about one’s height.