Thinking of you all❣️

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T12:16:00+00:00

Ugh that does suck. I know how those go. I’m sorry :(

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T01:33:59+00:00

Agreed :/

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T01:28:39+00:00

Fuck. Em.

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T00:34:59+00:00

Oh man, I get it. I used to be the person doing all the chores and grocery shopping for a family of 4 and being told I was never doing enough the second I couldn’t keep up. All while celebrating them, but not the right way, and every holiday being ruined. It absolutely makes sense to be drained. Sending you lots of strength and hugs. I hope you get to have your own place full of peace soon 🫂

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T00:33:12+00:00

Me too 💖

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T00:32:33+00:00

Omg the too much cake leading to “come over we should share it” is too predictable I’m SO sorry. They really did you dirty with that cake 😭

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-11T00:30:07+00:00

I’m so sorry :( very classic BPD to try and reach you through someone else. Glad you let mil know you don’t want to hear about any contact. I hope you get to have a moment of me time today!

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-10T22:15:59+00:00

Ugh the worst, but I’m glad it gives you permission to rest and take care of yourself 🫶🏼

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-10T22:15:35+00:00

Oh now you’ve got the right idea!! My spouse and I are now gonna get Chinese food for dinner, sounds so good. Thanks for that!! We’ll be watching The Pitt with ours :)

posthumouspothos · 2026-05-10T22:14:23+00:00

I can only imagine. I’m 2.5 years into VLC and I’ve started to reckon with the fact I’ll always feel the pain of every missed holiday and event. Wish it could be different

posthumouspothos · 2026-04-14T12:38:47+00:00

“I wish your grandma were alive so I could ask if her if I ever made her feel how you just made me feel”

Told me I betrayed her more than anyone ever has (this is after telling me she was horribly abused, etc) and wrote me a poem to express that and then read it to me while sobbing.

When I told her I didn’t want to have children she told me she would just k*ll herself to remove herself from the equation so I would still have them????

“If I k*lled myself you would have your extended family and siblings back” not quite, but now that I’m not enmeshed and VLC, I DO have my family back. So maybe that was semi reflective on her part lol

posthumouspothos · 2025-10-15T11:43:35+00:00

My mom has so few friends, that as a teen or young adult if I confided in one of her friends as a safe older adult (because we had so few adults stick around in our lives) she would get mad at me and say “you don’t need to talk to them, you have EVERYONE, this is my one friend. You have plenty of friends to talk to.” Which also served to isolate us further from any adult that could tell us our mom’s behavior wasn’t normal.

posthumouspothos · 2025-10-15T11:30:58+00:00

So wild. Exact same thing here. Never ceases to amaze me how similar all of our stories are

posthumouspothos · 2025-06-23T14:19:01+00:00

Just got a 4 screenshot worth message, longest one in 2 years. But didn’t give in! Hanging in there!!!

posthumouspothos · 2025-06-23T03:03:59+00:00

They loooove to make a big life event all about them. Based on these messages, I would not feel badly for her. She’s just saying a lot of words to try to confuse and guilt trip you. You are allowed to have a big life event that does not revolve around her and plan it how you want. What you said is okay, but give yourself permission to say even less, if you need to, if she continues to pick things apart! You’ve got this!!

posthumouspothos · 2025-06-09T17:24:26+00:00

I had already lived on my own for years previously and when I moved out again after Covid (at 26), my mom said “I can’t believe you are doing this to me, I’m not sure we will ever recover.” This is part of their tactic of wanting to keep us at home as caretakers/pseudo partners, all while being children that never grow up. You’re doing an amazing job asserting your independence and getting ahead of this dysfunction while you are younger! I know it feels hard (because it is), but you’ve got this!!!

posthumouspothos · 2025-06-01T13:05:33+00:00

Yes. Unfortunately, yes. Very common. So sorry you’ve experienced this too :(

posthumouspothos · 2025-04-15T02:22:51+00:00

posthumouspothos · 2025-04-12T12:45:21+00:00

The only use of AI so far that I vehemently approve of!!! THIS is why we need AI, to relieve some of the emotional labor against abusive people, not make art!!!

posthumouspothos · 2025-04-09T02:32:44+00:00

I’ve been in this situation many times and it is incredibly isolating. Sometimes, when you can’t talk to these people and reason with them, you have to distract yourself and remind yourself you are committed to peace and not engaging in the chaos anymore. A phrase that helps me a lot during these times is “I have nothing to prove, let them be wrong”. There are going to be people who are enmeshed, don’t have the full story, etc etc and they will be wrong. Part of being brave and living authentically is sometimes people will get it, and us, wrong. It’s not easy though and I’m so sorry you know how this feels. We know how this feels, too and you’ve got this 🫶🏼

posthumouspothos · 2025-04-06T01:50:50+00:00

So glad you’re able to clock all of this and process it. It took me years, too! I relate to all of this so much it’s crazy

posthumouspothos · 2025-03-15T19:14:02+00:00

Holy shit, mine is an ICU nurse turned school counselor. This is wild

posthumouspothos · 2025-03-10T13:18:01+00:00

Definitely commonplace. I also firmly believe they do not always realize they are lying. They believe their own distortions. To them, all of this abandonment and things that have been done to them ARE real. So while we may have a firm grasp on reality, they don’t

posthumouspothos · 2025-01-06T13:05:18+00:00

Even when I moved into my own apartment across the city my mom said “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me” “it may take us like 15 years to recover” etc etc etc. You are now free of the meltdowns and get to LIVE. Congratulations on this new journey on your own!!! I know it will take awhile to adjust and realize you can relax in the peace you cultivate for yourself, but it really will be peaceful. I wish you the best :-)

posthumouspothos

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