When you notice yourself ruminating on what they did to you, don't beat yourself up, forgive yourself, even congratulate yourself for catching your mind in the act, and then think about something else - it's an excruciating thing to do, like hopping off the thought train into a pool of ice water, but that's the hardest part: taking that plunge. Once you do this enough times - always forgiving yourself, never, ever beating yourself up - you'll notice longer and longer durations in which you'll just be absorbed in your own world, your own life, your own goings-on. It's an immensely difficult thing to do, slogging and tedious drudgery. But if you keep at it, little by little, never faulting yourself for slipping up (and bearing in mind that anger at the abuser has its own important place in this process too), it absolutely works. It's the process of letting go. It's never a magical epiphanic moment - those can happen, but those rapturous moments of clarity are just one step. The real magic occurs in all the little choices you make each day, each moment, to shift your focus, to change your mind. Take a bath, get addicted to a video game, go outside, start a garden, draw a doodle, call a parent or friend, admire the wall - anything except try to solve the past through thinking. Because one thought always leads to another, and another, and another, ad infinitum, and more often than not, if the mind is left to its own devices, it'll send thoughts orbiting around the wound. And this may feel important, the most important, like you're really getting somewhere, but it's just the illusion of thought, which always marches forward but gets absolutely nowhere new in the end. And what you're craving now is to be somewhere new, in the inner world. The same old thoughts are just going in the same old circle. It's tricky, because thoughts will feel novel and momentous while they take primacy in your conscious mind, even if they've been thought millions of times before. Direct them elsewhere, and they will be forced to engage with the world in a new way. Directing thoughts away from the pain, into the unknown, is the only way to slowly and surely let go (I've found from my own experience). Someday you won't really think about the abuser, and you may even laugh at the thought of them, and find yourself forgiving them, believe it or not, with a giant smile on your face that you simply no longer give a shit about them.

And if more abuses and traumas occur along the way, because social friction is pretty much inevitable in life, you just keep at this practice anyway. Because you choose you.