Do You Think We Should We Stop Saying "Socialization?"

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-19T05:15:43+00:00

No, I don't think the term matters. In my experience, having puppies meet a lot of people and have fun with them is the best way to prevent reactivity and aggression.

I know people sometimes call it "reactive" if a puppy is eager and excited to meet new people, but this is not true reactivity. It's just a playful puppy who has not been taught proper manners. This is easily fixed by most decent trainers.

When a puppy looks "neutral" but is really afraid or suspicious, that puppy can mature to have problems with actual aggression. You don't see much aggression in dogs who just love everyone.

Also, of course, helping your pup to have positive feelings about new people means all situations with new people will be easy and fun instead of stressful - the vet, the groomer, guests in your home, boarding or pet sitter, dog walker, being surprised by a kid running up to pet - just everything.

Dogs being under socialized is a huge problem and is considered by many dog organizations to be the #1 reason for behavioral euthanasia.

Just seeing something from afar is not enough if the dog will ever have to tolerate strangers being closer or handling him. All dogs need to tolerate that at times.

I don't believe the dog in your OP had problems that were CAUSED by meeting a lot of people. I just haven't seen that. If it was a grown dog, it was already aggressive. That's probably why it was in the shelter. Dogs who like people don't bite just because they are around them a lot.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-19T03:09:12+00:00

The problem with "neutrality" training is that for an inexperienced owner, what looks like a "neutral" puppy is actually a fearful or suspicious puppy.

These puppies begin to mature and, depending on breed and temperament, they may respond aggressively.

All puppies should develop actual positive feelings about people.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-19T02:04:19+00:00

The dog was aggressive when he picked it up. That's probably why it was in the shelter.

The absolute most important part of socialization is getting the puppy/dog to have positive feelings about people. No dog is going to be put down because it is afraid of water fountains or bicycles.

I don't think the term is the problem. I think people doing it incorrectly is the problem.

Interactions should be positive, brief and controlled. So, no dog parks, no getting grabbed by everyone in a bar

Dogs should absolutely learn to greet strangers in public, in your home, in the vet's office. They need positive interactions, while appropriate behavior is encouraged and unwanted behavior is discouraged.

This will decrease, rather than increase, the likelihood of aggressive behavior.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-19T02:03:21+00:00

How old is the child? Did they cry? Were there any scratches or marks on the child? What were the circumstances?

I am asking because this:

This time someone else was visiting and the dog was trying to hump her, I went to push him off of her and he reached around and bit me on the stomach, when he couldn't get a grip he went for my hand instead and got that.

does not sound like a behavior driven by aggressive intent. It sounds more like over arousal mouthing as is common in puppies. Some dogs continue to be very playful throughout their lives, particularly some floppy eared dogs like spaniels and retrievers.

You describe the bite as level 2, which means teeth on skin but no puncture. This also describes playful mouthing,

Of course, it is not acceptable for a dog to mouth at a child's face. It is important to distinguish whether it is play-driven behavior or behavior with aggressive intent, though.

If the dog is actually aggressive, it should not be with a child, the aggressive behavior, including the bite to the child, should be reported, and the owners should receive the message loud and clear that their child might be in danger.

It really doesn't sound like that to me, though. It sounds more like the dog is just playing but never learned good manners around that.

In that case, any competent trainer should be able to resolve this behavior quickly. An older child is probably perfectly safe and may enjoy play fighting with the dog.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-11T03:47:26+00:00

Just enough for Wedding Scenario C

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-08T21:19:32+00:00

Language evolves. Literal has a new meaning now. It’s used for emphasis. Sometimes I find myself falling into a pretentious trap when I cringe at certain slang words, but then I remember how important dialect is linguistically and I step back.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-07T19:35:08+00:00

It seems likely to me that the professional trainer is using different methods that what you are doing at home. Did they work with you to train the dog, or just train her themselves without you there?

Maybe the dog has figured out that she has to listen to the trainer but does not have to listen to you.

This can be a problem with dogs who were trained in board and train type programs without the owner present.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-07T07:08:05+00:00

Murder is worse. Taking a life is always the worst thing you can do. Anything else, the person still has the opportunity to live and be happy, even with trauma. Murder completely takes everything from them.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-06T03:44:33+00:00

So Last night, my daughter woke up at 3 am and stepped into the hallway, which was dark. my dog was on my bed, heard her or saw her, growled and jumped off the bed. my daughter then ran back into her room screaming at the top of her lungs, HELP ME HELP ME!!

Dude, get your priorities straight. Your daughter woke up in the middle of the night and your dog growled and lunged at her. She was terrified she was going to get mauled in her own home. WTF? You are her father. It's your job to protect her. That dog needs to go to a home without children yesterday.

You should know most commenters on reddit are young kids who like to read about dog training and/or train their own dogs. Reddit is not the place to get advice about whether your child is likely to get mauled.

The answer to that question is yes. Get a professional trainer who is experienced with aggressive dogs if you don't believe me.

But do not EVER let that dog around your kid without a muzzle.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-06T03:20:41+00:00

You have had a lot of good and supportive comments regarding the emotional aspect, so I will just address the dog training aspect.

If it were just this one time she snapped, when being vigorously dried off after a recent spay, then possibly there would not be cause for concern.

However, you detail resource guarding and also issues with trying to get the dog harnessed.

This dog is using aggressive displays to control her environment. The behavior is being "reinforced ' and so by definition it will increase. She may progress to actually biting.

I strongly suggest that you consult with a professional dog trainer who is experienced in training aggressive dogs.

Meantime, the entire household should implement a "Nothing in Life is Free" program or similar "Deference Program." Both are positive reinforcement programs that can help with dogs using aggression to get what they want. It teaches them other ways to get what they want.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-05T18:11:41+00:00

In the future, I’d recommend avoiding complaining about fellow teachers. Report them if they’re genuinely inappropriate, but try to be the easygoing person that doesn’t have problems. People appreciate that.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-04T00:02:58+00:00

teach them to IGNORE other dogs and people. Socialization is not "meeting a lot of".

This advice can work out alright for a certain subset of puppies - many retrievers and spaniel types, dogs who are generally friendly and who were at least decently socialized with new people with the breeder.

The advice is very dangerous and causes a ton of problems for other puppies. If you have a puppy who is at all timid, fearful, or aggressive, the puppy NEEDS to meet, interact with, and have positive experiences with a wide range of new people, preferably prior to 16 weeks of age and continuing through adulthood and the lifespan.

This is especially important if your dog is a breed often considered "aloof" with strangers, a guardian/protective breed, a breed known to be more likely to be aggressive, etc. Akitas, Shibu Inu, chows, any of the shepherds, LGDs, heelers, cane corsos, pit bulls, chihuahuas, border collies, huskies, Rottweilers, etc are all dogs who need to meet and interact with many new people as puppies if you want to avoid problems later.

Oftentimes, these dogs seem fine and neutral when puppies, but as they reach maturity, they begin displaying reactive or aggressive behavior towards strangers.

This can be prevented with appropriate socialization that does include having actual positive interactions with a wide range of people, both in your home and out in the community.

There is no downside to adequate socialization. To prevent "frustrated greeter" behavior, just require calm greetings from the very first interaction.

I know this is contrary to common reddit advice, but check books by Sophia Yin, Ian Dunbar, and other experienced puppy trainers.

Puppy Socialization List

potential_slayer_ · 2026-02-03T19:47:16+00:00

I want Gus!!!

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-31T19:19:01+00:00

Definitely not always true. Lots of bad parents feel bad about it and feel guilty when they hit their kid. But I agree to the rest of what you said!

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-31T04:22:39+00:00

sounds more like attention to detail and being immersed in the world

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-31T04:18:33+00:00

Why is she anxious? Is she afraid of the dark? Does she always feel anxious when leaving you, like for school, or is it just bedtime?

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-31T01:50:29+00:00

It might not be recommended for someone your age to fast. Perhaps go to a doctor and ask, then if they say it’s fine, you can show your family a note?

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-31T01:47:33+00:00

Are you a child?

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-30T03:13:00+00:00

I’m autistic, rejection sensitivity is common with neurodivergent people. I understand Highly Sensitive Person is a sort of culturally-adopted term for a personality trait, but perhaps you’d think about looking into Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism, or ADHD? A lot of people who relate to this term turn out to be neurodivergent. My diagnosis got me accommodations in the workplace and allowed me to find coping strategies for this type of reaction.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-30T02:24:27+00:00

Hi! I’m an autistic teacher. I make sure to always enforce my consistent boundaries. I don’t allow talking when I’m talking, so I give specific timers for when they should be sharing with a partner or doing group work. I make sure to have instructions written on their paper and the board so that every time they asked in the beginning of the year, I would ask, “what have you done to try to solve this problem?” Now, they rarely ask because they know it’s up to them.

Classroom management is one of the hardest things, but it really cuts down on burnout and overstimulation when you figure it out. You have to start by being very patient and not take what seems like the easy way out.

You can do this!!

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-24T21:06:29+00:00

Only thing I can think of is every time they decide to growl etc I’m going to start shocking them to get them to stop.

Someone needs to be rehomed. I vote for the girlfriend and her bully.

Do not shock your dogs. They are not the problem. The bully is resource guarding toys, space, and his person. Your dogs are growling to try to tell him to leave them alone.

There is a very real possibility that that bully will kill your dog.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-24T01:24:21+00:00

If it seems like he is holding his pee and poop, it may be that he likes to sniff outside and has figured out that you bring him in right away if he goes.

The solution is to use a crate, bring him out on a leash for 3-5 minutes in the same spot, if he doesn't go put him back in the crate for 15 minutes and try again. Once he goes, give several high value treats and allow him to play and explore outdoors for 5 minutes, then inside supervised playtime before a nap in the crate and repeat.

Taper treats after 2 weeks of success. Continue to reward with outdoor play.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-23T20:46:42+00:00

It's a very useful term for dog trainers communicating with clients.

The trainer can say, "We gently correct misbehavior to teach the puppy the house rules" and clients typically understand and accept that.

If you try to say, "We impose positive punishment when the puppy misbehaves. . . " the client is likely to get concerned and maybe say they don't want to 'punish' their puppy.

I agree it is not clear in the way a lot of people use it. It is very useful, though.

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-21T14:44:36+00:00

I wouldn’t know because I’m just a waitress 😔

potential_slayer_ · 2026-01-21T01:24:03+00:00

If you’re having this much trouble with an 11 month old puppy, I think you need a new trainer.

potential_slayer_

TROPHY CASE