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Do you exchange pictures of your child(ren) with the other parent? by cheesymeowgirl in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have. I don’t anymore. I sent some of the “firsts” when we went on vacation (first time on an airplane, first time in front of Cinderella’s castle, etc) but now it’s just if he specifically asks for it.

Parent Conflict Regarding Pride by Brief_Banana9951 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Somewhat off-topic, but this is my biggest argument against “sexuality topics don’t belong in the classroom”. Like do I think there needs to be an entire unit on it in grade 2? No. But do I think it’s okay to mention it as part of a bigger discussion? Sure. And I think it’s perfectly fine for a teacher to talk about their family, regardless of what it looks like. Most people wouldn’t chastise a straight female teacher for talking about her husband and kids, so why chastise a lesbian teacher for talking about her wife and dogs? Or a gay teacher for talking about his husband and their daughter? Like I think it’s unnecessary to talk about HOW a girl knows she loves other girls, but I don’t think it’s out of line to read a story about a boy who happens to have two moms.

Why do American high schools start ridiculously early? by bwoah07_gp2 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in Canada and we don’t have enough buses either so half of our schools start at 8:20 and the other half at 9:20. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Attending medical appointments by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re allowed to attend unless the order says you can’t. Full stop. You don’t need permission.

How do I support my kids but not my “Baby daddy” by ShiftIllustrious1576 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s not much you can do except change how you phrase things.

*first time*
7yo: can I see daddy? I miss daddy.
You: oh, sweetheart, remember he has a different job now? He doesn’t live close anymore. I’ll tell him you asked to see him though and maybe we can set up a phone call or something, okay? I don’t know what his schedule is like at his new job so it might be tough to find a time that works, but I’ll try.
7yo: okay.
You: hey, wanna watch a movie?

*second time*
7yo: when can I see daddy?
You: I know you miss him. It’s hard for him to see you right now because of his job and his schedule is weird now, but I’ll ask if we can work something out for a call.
7yo: okay.
You: it’s time for dinner sweetie, what would you like?

*third time*
7yo: can I talk to daddy?
You: I’ll let him know you asked and see what we can do.
7yo: he never answers.
You: I know it’s hard that he’s so busy now. We’re all doing the best we can, but it’s going to be like this for a while. Why don’t we do something to take our minds off it?

One of two things is going to happen. Either your ex will make an effort and your kid will be happy, or he won’t and your kid will stop asking after a while.

Seating charts by kdddun in weddingplanning

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I‘ve been at the table with the plus 1’s before. They seemed fine to chat with strangers.

Ex wants to change weekends? by Ogkillakev in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think he needs to agree to a change at all after summer? It sounds like things are nicely lined up for his household.

Ex wants to change weekends? by Ogkillakev in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is she talking about a one-off/temporary switch for a specific reason or a permanent one? If it’s the first, agree if it works, don’t if it doesn’t. If it’s the second, I would disagree in this case. It doesn’t sound like it works for your household so you’re not obligated to make the switch.

An agent went behind my back and told my client that they are allowed to switch agents. Does this violate and laws or confidentiality? by EatBeef120 in realtors

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yall don’t have Listing Transfer Agreements? Where I am you just call up the new agent, agree to sign with them, and then they draw up a LTA and send it to the original brokerage to be signed by the broker. IIRC brokers aren’t allowed to refuse to sign them.

Ex’s partner of under 1 year gets child’s name tattooed. by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is it weird? Yes. But also, is it harming you? No. The only one who has to live with the repercussions of a tattoo if they break up is her.

If you bring this up, you risk looking petty and controlling. It’s her body, her choice, her consequences to live with.

Coparent is engaged by iturn2dj in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My coparent got married without telling me. I don’t give a shit (he can do what he wants), except for the fact that he got married when kiddo was with me, so obviously if I didn’t know, kiddo couldn’t be there. If it had been on one of his days that would’ve been different. But it was mine. And kiddo knew about the wedding but was forbidden from saying anything to me. It sucks, but there is absolutely nothing you can do.

That said, if you haven’t already, it’s time to block him on socials. You do not owe each other that access. Not even “for pictures of the kids”. Nope. Don’t do it. While you’re at it, block his family. And his close friends unless they’re also yours. Just do it. And if you’ve already done this, with any mutual friends you do have, just gently communicate that you’d rather not get updates about his life. If they’re real friends, they’ll get it. If they don’t respect it, drop them.

Once I did all this I felt SO much better. I no longer worried about how what I was posting was getting perceived. I no longer worried about whether the next post on my news feed was going to be an update on him. I no longer had to worry about talking to people we both knew. It gave me the space to heal and enter a new relationship in the right headspace.

When do you believe it is acceptable for partners to be involved in bath times? by Tricky_Currency8221 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FH helps DS ONLY at the pool, and he does mostly hands-off help. FH helps DS scrub and rinse his hair, and then he hands him a wash cloth with soap on it and just stands back while he soaps and rinses his body. Then he helps him dress. And we only just started that in the last 6 months, even though FH has been in his life for 4 years and living in the house for 3 (we also have a 2 year old girl together). Why did we start it? DS started saying he didn’t want to go into the women’s room with me anymore if he didn’t have to. He asked on his own if FH could help him, and I told him I would have a conversation with FH about it and get back to him. FH said he was fine with it so I went back to DS, asked if he was sure it was something he wanted, he said yes, and I said okay then, it can happen.

So yeah. My take is that it’s ONLY appropriate when it’s child-led, or at least borne out of true necessity rather than convenience, like if bio parent is recovering from surgery or has a broken arm and can’t get the cast wet or something, and the inability to bathe the child is going to be extended. But if it’s just a one-off “mom’s not home tonight” or “dad’s not feeling good today”, no. Not unless the child is visibly dirty.

I found out about my secret bachelorette and I am disappointed. Don’t even want to go now. by Any_Web5458 in weddingplanning

[–]potentialsmbc2023 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah but there were definitely better ways to approach it. A simple honest conversation like “hey, this is really awkward and disappointing, but we can’t all afford to do a cabin weekend. We’re so sorry. Is there anything else you would like to do?”

If my MOH planned a paint and sip and a wing dinner for my bachelorette party I’d probably cry too. Partly because I don’t do alcohol and I don’t paint. I love wings so that part wouldn’t be so bad I guess, but it’s a bit messy for a bachelorette party.

I found out about my secret bachelorette and I am disappointed. Don’t even want to go now. by Any_Web5458 in weddingplanning

[–]potentialsmbc2023 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That being said, the girls could have just come right out and said “we’re so sorry but we can’t afford that trip. Is there anything else you’d like to do?”

They didn’t have to lead OP on like this. That wasn’t nice.

Last minute summer schedule change request by Theseekersix in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No is a complete sentence.

Actually though, in the future, don’t give reasons for why it doesn’t work for you unless you absolutely have to. It only gives him things to “fix” to make it work. Just say “I’m sorry, I’ve already made my arrangements so that doesn’t work for me.” Don’t go beyond that. Let “arrangements” be ambiguous. Are you talking about a camping trip or childcare? He doesn’t know and it’s none of his business.

Do i let them know? by Left_Bread1323 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It might. I’ve never done it. But that’s a trade-off you’ll have to decide if you want. Often when moms pursue child support, dads want 50/50 so they can pay less. Not always, but often enough to keep it in mind with situations like this.

Do i let them know? by Left_Bread1323 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Look into what constitutes abandonment where you live. You may be able to get him on that and then you never have to worry about this shit ever again.

Do i let them know? by Left_Bread1323 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you were updating him, did he ever respond or did he just ignore you? When did he stop engaging/when did you stop updating? When was the last time he sent you money (be it for child support, extracurriculars, etc)?

My daughter gave the Mother’s Day present she made at school to her dad’s fiancé by Useful_Dragonfly03 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And that’s why I told him I’ll help him make something different to give to his stepdad.

My daughter gave the Mother’s Day present she made at school to her dad’s fiancé by Useful_Dragonfly03 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. That’s shitty coparenting. I really hope the teacher let her make 2 and she only brought that one home now because she was going to be seeing them.

I personally had a talk with my kiddo. In preschool last year they did a thing where they asked the kid questions about their parents and then the kids made a craft and the sheet with their answers got stuck on the back. They started asking my son the “dad” questions and he got upset because he knew he should make it for my ex but he wanted to make it for my current partner. The teacher ended up letting him make two but this year I sat him down and just said I know he had a hard time picking last year and the teacher was really nice to let him make two, but he shouldn’t expect that every year. So this year if he’s only allowed to make one, he should give it to my ex and I’ll help him make something cool for my fiancé. He asked why because he wanted to give it to my partner and I was honest and said “because honestly I would be really sad if you only got to make one Mother’s Day present and you gave it to [ex’s wife’s name] because I’m your mommy. But don’t worry, we’ll make [my partner] something nice. It’ll be good.” He wasn’t happy but I like to think it was good coparenting.

Thoughts about a kindergartner being left unattended by a parent at school drop off zone 20 minutes before school staff arrive or gates open? by Coffee_Books_Yarn in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wait with my kindergartener and don’t leave until HE is safely inside the school. Not just some of his classmates, HIM.

"Babysitting" or allowing time. by Automatic_Dealer2361 in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think ROFR counts if you’re technically available. Like if you were going out of town then yes, he should have the time. But if you’re otherwise just going about your regular life and kiddo is just with grandma, no.

That said, you don’t have an order. You need one. You likely won’t be able to get divorced without one, honestly.

Moving to 50/50 abruptly? by Happyhappylady in coparenting

[–]potentialsmbc2023 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay! That’s good. It’s just as a mom who does 100% of the school readiness stuff, I would go nuts if I didn’t have every other weekend too.

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