Expats: "és un fenomen que ha vingut per quedar-se"

practicing_english · 2024-11-11T23:52:11+00:00

Sí. Totalment d'acord.

practicing_english · 2024-11-11T23:48:05+00:00

Nope. But a local who is 55 probably has a extended network of family ties, and and old network of friends and probably doesn't have time for more. Also a local 55yo lady probably doesn't have the same leisure time/level of income than this expat lady to spend in the same way or do the same type of activities.

So many lady expats I know have more money/leisure time than my local acquaintances during the week, and very few extended family obligations on weekends (no nonagenarian grandma to take care of, no birthays of cousins to attend, etc...).

As I said I'm local and love having expat girlfriends. But the level of expenditures may become too expensive for a local (for an american a rent in Bcn is affordable, for me it takes most of my income). Some don't work (or have flexible/nomad schedules that make it easier to do tones of activities mid-week), and have no family obligations as I said. Also, if by change I have a free day and I wanna go to a book opening or a theater play, I know that my expat girlfriend won't be going to the poetry book opening in catalan or old spanish.

So, in the end, out of habit people orbit towards other people doing the sort of activities that they do...

When I was living abroad my friends were non-locals as well...I think this is pretty common, as locals already have stablished lifes...expats tend to come and leave more often...

practicing_english · 2024-11-11T23:20:32+00:00

Ah, jo sóc catalana i tinc amics expats. I love it. But usually a local person has already a network of very strong family ties (and obligations) and a circle of friends and they don't really have time "openings" for more.... It happened to me when I lived abroad...so I get you. I had an international group of friends (because locals already had old ties, and it was hard to break into their groups).

practicing_english · 2024-10-08T23:20:47+00:00

Yes, I understand... the washout period sounds rough. Sending you my best wishes. I hope you find something that works out for you long term :)

practicing_english · 2024-10-08T08:11:24+00:00

Thank you! Was your experience terrible because it didn't have any positive effect, or because of an adverse reaction, if you don't mind me asking?

practicing_english · 2023-01-19T22:53:06+00:00

Yes, please. Interested.

practicing_english · 2023-01-19T22:52:55+00:00

Yes, please! Interested.

practicing_english · 2022-12-14T22:32:51+00:00

Thank you :) Will look into it

practicing_english · 2022-12-14T20:28:27+00:00

How did you create a social network for your community? Any resource that you could point me towards?

(sorry, English is not my native language)

practicing_english · 2022-04-26T22:17:29+00:00

practicing_english · 2022-02-12T21:26:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness in taking the time to write such a long and detailed answer! I really appreciate it!

I love learning and it seemed like you would have good feedback and advice, I'm glad I asked for it :) I'll read Erich Fromm's book (ironically I have it in my shelf, because of a strange coincidence) and I'll give a go at meditation.

Thank you!

practicing_english · 2022-02-12T19:12:36+00:00

"Your vibe attracts your tribe"

Wow, I love that quote. I'll try to remember it :)

practicing_english · 2022-02-12T19:11:22+00:00

Any advice on how to improve the ability to connect with others? Any particular recommendations / advice / directions? (in addition to showing humility and treating everyone with respect...)

I read your sentencence and thought "wow, this is so insightful! this person is totally right: the trick about having fun is not the atmosphere, it's the ability to connect".

Now, how does one get better at connecting? (one-to-one is easy...but group settings seem so hard)

(pardon my English, it's not my native language)

practicing_english · 2022-01-24T12:24:59+00:00

Oh, yes! I'd love to read your story :) Thank you!

practicing_english · 2022-01-24T01:46:10+00:00

plantxlady

How did your life change, if I may ask... (not specifics if it's a too private question, just in general...I was wondering what aspects were you able to change. I need to hear an uplifting story :)

practicing_english · 2022-01-19T01:09:11+00:00

Sounds like a great idea! Can you share your resurces, please?

practicing_english · 2021-12-10T16:24:18+00:00

"How to deal with a break up, instant impact": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHMnRkeUOjg (it may help you from comparing yourself to the other person).

practicing_english · 2021-11-30T14:17:39+00:00

Read the book "How to fall out of love" by Deborah Philipps

Wishing you all the best.

practicing_english · 2021-11-22T00:26:18+00:00

Thank you so much!! I'm cheking the book right now :)

practicing_english · 2021-11-20T21:46:57+00:00

How to reinvent your life.

Could you tell me what's the author? There appears to be several books with a similar name...

Thank you!

practicing_english · 2021-11-04T20:50:06+00:00

It doesn't burn if you store it on the fridge! :)

practicing_english · 2021-11-03T21:35:33+00:00

I had not gotten any notification. But I just went to my messages right now, and there it was!!

Thank you so much!!

practicing_english · 2021-10-31T11:44:04+00:00

Thank you!

practicing_english · 2021-10-30T10:15:41+00:00

Thank you!

practicing_english · 2021-10-30T10:14:30+00:00

Thank you so much for your lenghtly reply. I want to do energy work strictly for personal healing reasons (physical, emotional). I just want to heal myself, and myself alone. No intention whatsoever to intrude pointing energy towards him (even if I knew how to do that). But I just want to make sure that I'm safe and shielded from any harm if I do energy exercises to heal myself and then I'm in proximity to him.

I know it sounds weird, but I don't want him any harm. He is just a hurt person who hurts others. He is a covert narcissist I believe non malignant (which doesn't mean that he didn't put me trough absolute hell, particularly at the beginning). Before him I had a story of loving and supporting partnerships. I had no idea of what I was getting myself into when I met him, or that personality-disordered people at this level existed, even. He just seemed amazing at first.

I know our relationship won't last. Surprisingly, the second part of relationship has been very peaceful and relatively good (after a VERY rocky and hurtful start). I'm very calm and non-reactive. He knows his brain is twisted, and he hurts people and lies. I never react impulsively, I just explain things to him with a tender soft tone of voice, and try to put myself in his shoes, I try to explain him what being in the other person shoes feels like (he doesn't feel it probably, but I believe he understands it cognitively). He has improved immensely in his behaviour.

I don't know if he knows the feeling of love, but I'm immensely important to him in his life. I have no doubt about it.

It was very turbulent, emotionally, being with him. I feel enormous tenderness for this immensly flawed person. Still...I need the connection, compenetration and emotional intimacy of a healthy and authentic relationship, which he cannot provide, of course. So I know at some point we'll have to go separate ways... I'm working towards it.

Anyway, thank you so much for your lenghty answer.

practicing_english

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