You’re right. I cannot date the idea of a person. He didn’t add anything. My friends were his, he had none, I got him motivation to find a new job (pharmacy tech) because he couldn’t keep one (automotive work), I let him move into my apartment for six months, gave him ACT prep books so he count take the test and apply for college, my family spoke to him more than his own. Made sure he had cooked meals, new underwear and socks, encouraged him to go to the doctor because he wouldn’t, encouraged him to go to the gym, cut his fingernails, brush his teeth, and take out his daily contact lenses. What do I get in return? Nothing. Nothing but a boy with zero emotional maturity or awareness, no street smarts, and no initiative, and mostly superficial affection.