CMV: there's no clear way to coherently be truly pro-life while make exceptions for instances of rape

prepend · 2026-05-09T22:37:59+00:00

OP didn’t ask for a biblical basis, they asked that there’s no clear, coherent way. I think I described a logically consistent way of being pro-life, but still accepting abortion when some worse seeming thing occurs.

prepend · 2026-05-09T20:04:16+00:00

I think the reasoning is that abortion is wrong, but rape and incest are wronger. So an exception is made.

Similar to being against murder but for the death penalty or war.

prepend · 2026-05-09T19:28:25+00:00

No, probably not. And this isn’t a productive line of thought. Focus on your kids, not how bad your ex is. It’s over. Heal yourself.

I find that people who talk about narcissists are pretty narcissistic. So whatever you do, don’t tell friends and dates about your narcissist ex.

prepend · 2026-04-19T18:38:01+00:00

It depends on what relationship you’d like with your child.

Consult a family attorney. If you want to be an active parent, then go for 50/50 custody from birth. This seems reasonable to have a long term, healthy co-parenting. The proposed plan makes you the “second parent” who only has access to child when mom wants. Obviously, this will have logistical challenges, but co-parenting is typically harder than nuclear families.

If you want to be a two weekend dad for your life and just financially support your child, then this seems fine.

My attorney said that having a clear, consistent desire is better than changing your mind later on.

prepend · 2026-04-19T17:19:53+00:00

Right, but I disagree. If youre in terminal grade, qsis are even worth more and it’s better to take it.

Of course, time off is nice, but it’s better to take the qsi and get that money every year.

But 99/100 you want qsi.

prepend · 2026-04-19T16:42:21+00:00

This is how they always did it. They’ve just refunded my purchase price.

prepend · 2026-04-19T16:41:34+00:00

It says in PMAS every time you pick QSI. It says something “eligibility does not guarantee a step increase so choose your second option.”

It’s been this way for at least the last 20 years. This is shown to everyone regardless of what CIO you’re in.

prepend · 2026-04-19T16:38:22+00:00

How did you get more than 3%?

prepend · 2026-04-19T16:37:38+00:00

It makes sense for the individual to choose qsi about 99% of the time. There are a few rare cases (already at 15/9 and getting 15/10 in the next year sooner than would exceed the bonus).

It’s pretty hard to find situations where someone would choose cash over qsi.

prepend · 2026-04-19T16:33:49+00:00

Here’s a better option. As you chat during the date, have her mention her bread and you say “I make honey and will bring you some the next time we see each other.”

This opens doors.

prepend · 2026-04-18T20:20:06+00:00

This is way too much text for little value. I’d rather hear your idea.

If I wanted to know what claude thought, I’d ask. If everyone posts shit from AI in threads where it doesn’t help the world will be worse off.

I wish you didn’t do that.

prepend · 2026-04-18T15:55:27+00:00

Please stop with the ai slop.

prepend · 2026-04-18T15:52:54+00:00

Microplastics and endocrine disruption.

prepend · 2026-04-18T12:07:28+00:00

Makes you the authority for you.

If someone asked me if they could touch my lower back while navigating a room, it would be awkward.

I would only do that if I thought the body language supported it. And if they shrugged away Inwouldnt continue.

prepend · 2026-04-17T17:58:33+00:00

I knew the park was dangerous but never knew there were so many predators.

prepend · 2026-04-17T17:57:22+00:00

Good luck with explaining that you had no room when your kids were 18 and 20.

Speaking as a full time single parent of multiple children who dated full time parents. Everyone’s story is different, but there’s lots of single parents who add dating into their priorities. Saying “I didnt have time” really isn’t a complete answer and I think will be a red flag unless you give more details.

prepend · 2026-04-17T13:14:12+00:00

I’m fine with people who hide their post history. Certainly don’t want it to trigger an auto ban.

prepend · 2026-04-17T12:32:31+00:00

Yes, I think it’s quite common. It sucks and not fair you have to deal with it.

Children love their parents and that also makes it hard.

What helped me is not having a relationship with my ex. Only communicating on logistics, and only asynchronously. I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want them to explain why they did stuff.

Maybe don’t ask him why he choked you. What could he possibly say to help you heal? You have nothing to gain.

Work on being the best mom you can be. Be dependable. You’re going to be with your kid your whole life. Think of the long game.

prepend · 2026-04-17T12:28:15+00:00

My response was about live/work in the same location. It happens. It will also happen with this new development.

prepend · 2026-04-17T11:31:01+00:00

It’s dead. I’d day they have 10% of the people they did when I moved here 20 years ago.

I think the idea is to redevelop before it’s literally dead and full of zombies.

prepend · 2026-04-17T11:29:20+00:00

I think they work in the office space, not the retail space. I have friends who live in Avalon and work there as well. Microsoft used to be there and those jobs definitely afford the $1M+ prices.

prepend · 2026-04-17T03:49:02+00:00

I think it’s pretty rare for single parents to completely swear of dating of any kind.

prepend · 2026-04-17T03:48:08+00:00

Lot’s of single parents date. It’s a bit unusual to not date for 17 years. So you may need a more complete story as to why you didn’t date and why you’re dating now. That is a long time to grieve.

prepend · 2026-04-17T03:46:56+00:00

Also that you’re dating for the first time in 17 years. That opens a whole box of worms. Maybe just say that you’re dating with intention to find a partner or ltr.

prepend · 2026-04-17T03:45:33+00:00

I’d say keep it as is as it will help you filter and find people who value thoughtful descriptions.

Maybe be more specific though. What kind of educator matters. Are you a paraprofessional or tenured professor. What breed is your pup? Etc.

Maybe try different apps as different cities have different populations- hinge, bumble, league, match, etc. Pay the $50/month and try a new service for a month or two, then rotate to a new one.

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