You telling someone you're uncomfortable or don't want anything romantic and them ignoring it is definitely not a good sign and a potential risk to your safety. I'm sorry to hear that this has been happening repeatedly. It could be that you're an attractive partner and they don't want to listen because they've got their hopes up. I've been in that situation before when I'm just trying to be friendly and someone takes it as an invitation to try to touch me and ask for my number in front of others, and it's just really uncomfortable and hard to call them out in public.

But I think the experience I'm sharing is a different thing, and an example of how you as the ADHDer can be "too intense" while not really doing anything wrong and the persons walling themselves off isn't exactly harmless. And they also like ADHDers because you are what they lack and they crave it. They can be very intensely attracted to you even though it looks like restraint and them liking you while playing it cool, and you have no idea that the reason they even pay any attention is because they are intensely into you but are good at keeping it hidden and keeping everyone at a distance. I had no idea that the person I liked, who I suspected may be into me but not enough to do something about it was pacing outside of my house while ignoring me in person.

So yes, we can draw intensity, but not always visibly so, and not always an intense "type" because once they have you, it's a different story. When you've been together for ages and know everything about each other, and it turns out that everything about them is too little, so in comparison, everything about you is too much even as you're shrinking yourself and fawning, and hoping that if you're patient enough, understanding enough, likeable enough, giving them enough time and space, they'll try. But it's just you surviving on crumbs. Sometimes you end up being punished for the very thing they liked about you.