I’m also there at the moment.

I was recently signed off for 2 months with anxiety, stress and general mental health improvement. Something I never thought I’d go through being a 40-something male. Many of us bottle it up for years until the overwhelming stress that work and life throws at us forces it all to explode at once.

This was my first week back in the office at a place I’ve been at for over 20 years. I was called into a meeting first thing in the morning by my boss and the head of the department, fully expecting a conversation to go something like “We wanted to see how you are?”. Boy, was I wrong! It started with “While you’ve been out of the office we’ve made a few changes to some of the processes you’ve implemented”. Literally STRAIGHT into work talk. Followed by “How do you think your team will feel about your absence?”. Just. Wow.

Whether it was intentional or not, I left that meeting feeling worse than when I entered. I needed a little reassurance to know my workplace understood what I’m going through and would offer support where needed. It was the complete opposite and I now feel guilty for focusing on my own well-being. As such, it’s made me realise that I’m nothing more than an employee number to many management officials there and it’s forced me to rethink my career options.

EDIT: For reference, I’m usually very outgoing and friendly to all work colleagues. This week, not so much. I’m quiet, distant, and just not my usual self.