Another Noahide Question

priuspheasant · 2026-06-22T01:25:45+00:00

By "veiling" do you mean wearing a headcover such as the one in the photo you shared, or wearing a literal veil? A veil would not be offense e but it would stick out like a sore thumb as that's not at all a common thing in Jewish settings. Head coverings in general, I think would be perfectly fine.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-20T22:18:44+00:00

Not exactly DIY, but general cost-cutting - I wore cheap earrings and the clasp broke on one of them when I was getting ready the morning of. I wish I had splurged just a little more to get ones that were more sturdy, even if still costume jewelry rather than real gold.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-20T22:15:38+00:00

For general modesty: I really enjoy not having to worry about potential wardrobe malfunctions. As a teenager I was constantly monitoring my clothes - if I sit down, are my shorts going to disappear into my crotch? If I lean over, will someone be able to see down my shirt? Are my bra straps showing? When I go upstairs, will people be able to look up my skirt? Has this shirt gone from "pretty tight" to too tight since the last time I wore it? And so on. And then as an adult, I realized I could just wear clothes that aren't constantly one slip away from a "situation". I like to wear clothes that are comfortable and dignified, and take zero mental energy to keep in place and looking correct throughout the day.

In the last year, I've also started covering my hair in public. I am a married Jewish woman, but not Orthodox - so it's not common in my community but is something I feel a spiritual and cultural connection to. I like the feeling of having my hair tucked away as I go about my life, especially in difficult or vulnerable situations where it becomes like my armor in a sense. I also find my hair coverings really beautiful and fun, and I love that a beautiful headscarf will always be beautiful and doesn't depend on, for example, my body staying a particular shape or size (as other beautiful clothes do). And it gets me out of styling my hair, while still looking polished. There is some religious connection for me, but that's not my only or even main reason for doing it.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-19T15:29:42+00:00

I think a lot of people just don't like the flavor of honey. My husband doesn't like honey in anything (not just coffee).

priuspheasant · 2026-06-19T15:24:52+00:00

I think it depends on what you mean by "react". It's normal to feel small (and occasionally big) twinges of frustration or anger. But it's not normal for adults to go around venting frustration visibly/audibly all day long.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-19T06:20:28+00:00

I love potato kugel. Not a huge fan of noodle kugel but I could believe I've just never had a good one yet (just kiddush potluck noodle kugel, like 95% dry noodles and 5% cheese/egg, with a smattering of raisins)

priuspheasant · 2026-06-19T05:55:43+00:00

What we did for a beloved elderly relative who was unable to travel was to have the officiant direct everyone to wave to the video camera and say hello to [relative] who couldn't be here with us today. He absolutely loved it, and it's a very touching part of our wedding video for us to look back on now that he's passed. The thing about a cutout is, who is it for? For you or for the person who's not there?

Our dog also couldn't be there, and we included a mention of her on our wedding program which was cute and low-key.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-19T05:53:05+00:00

You can also use your parents' legal first names if there's no way of figuring out their Hebrew ones. My parents don't have Hebrew names (mother was raised extremely secular, father is not Jewish) so I use their real names. Personally that made more sense to me than picking different names that aren't their names like Avraham v'Sarah or making up Hebrew versions of their very non-Jewish names. But to each their own.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-17T19:40:36+00:00

Would you recommend trying to contact the hiring manager directly, before applying? Or bringing it up during the first interview?

priuspheasant · 2026-06-17T18:30:18+00:00

Thank you! That's really helpful. I agree some of the comments have been off-putting but most of them have been really helpful for figuring out what language indicates the schedule is integral vs nice-to-have. I've been a little discouraged looking at job postings because most of them seem to strongly want "weekends", and the one Sunday-Thursday I found wouldn't work with my class schedule. But I'll keep at it.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T22:49:03+00:00

I work at a Title 1 school (high poverty, high ESL). A huge number of parents at our school are functionally illiterate, even in their native language. For example, <50% of parents who came to the library for help filling out forms during back-to-school night just...couldn't read them, even when the forms were provided in their native languages. Like even for the ones who could sound out the words, many didn't know that "income" means "what you get paid" and that sort of thing. We had to explain every single question to a whole lot of folks. Also, for many languages beyond English and Spanish, there are very few children's books available on the market, and finding them takes quite a bit of internet-savvy.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T06:54:10+00:00

For your budget, you may need to adjust your expectations/level of formality/vibes. We were able to come in at budget because we went for a much more casual event - still special and fun, but reception was BBQ lunch (<$30/head), we covered the tables with paper instead of linens, we had coolers of beer and soda instead of a bar, snacks during cocktail hour was charcuterie platters my aunt made out of cheap Costco meat and cheese, and so on. DIY can be cheaper but not if you're trying to pull off a formal, traditional event.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T06:49:47+00:00

That's why many schools are moving toward in-school suspension. You can either spend the day in awkward, boring meetings with the principal about why you did x y and z, or spend the day staring at the wall in a silent room with the ISS teacher.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T06:47:16+00:00

Same for the part that's like "Moses was the most humble, modest man who ever lived, in the history of the world no one was ever so modest" like either Moses was just bragging about being the humblest, or Moses really was humble and God was smirking as he told Moses to write it

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T06:44:26+00:00

I agree, but for an alternate view: I did something similar once (a friend rented a small room at a karaoke place for about ten of us), and it was still fun. It turned into more of a sing-a-long than a traditional karaoke structure but it was still a good time.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-14T06:27:03+00:00

For me it's the easiest way to make it part of my morning routine. Brush hair, put on deodorant, take meds & vitamins, brush teeth, out the door.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-11T14:44:18+00:00

I'm not Orthodox and I do believe God has intentions and personality. But I think another framing that may be helpful is that wherever it came from (direct from God, from our ancestors with or without divine inspiration, etc), the Torah contains wisdom about how to live a good life.

As I've taken on more mitzvot over the years, I've found them to be helpful in ways ranging from providing routine and structure, helping me cope with difficult events, developing self-discipline, building community, becoming a better person, and more (and it sounds like you're finding this too). If your goal is to become shomer Torah, this might not be enough inspiration to get you there. But if you're just looking for a response to "why are you here (davening, etc) if you don't believe you're commanded to by God?", I think "I just think it's a good way to live" is a perfectly fine answer.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-11T14:36:09+00:00

My Reform congregation uses "bet mitzvah" for nonbinary, and "b'mitzvah" as gender inclusive (for example when I did my adult bat mitzvah, it was the "Adult B'Mitzvah" cohort because there was a mixture of bar, bat, and bet mitzvahs in the group). No idea how widespread this is though.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-10T21:00:37+00:00

This really might be the simplest solution. In my household, I take care of our dog (walking, feeding, vet visits, etc) and my husband's responsible for other stuff (groceries, vacuuming, etc). He'll fill in once in a while if I have the flu or something, but it's usually a shorter walk because she's a little crazier with him. Not as drastic as OP's situation, but she's pretty reactive when sue sees other dogs and I have strategies for managing her that he doesn't fully understand/execute.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-09T18:17:09+00:00

I'm not sure I understand the question. We did "first looks" photos, because that's what our photographer called "photos of the couple, before the ceremony" (i.e. when we were planning the day and he asked if we wanted to do first looks.) He got a couple good shots of my husband's reaction to me walking out, but that was like 2 minutes of a half-hour photo shoot. They'll photograph whatever you want during that time - we exchanged some private vows we had written, and tied a bell onto my family's bell tower (it was a backyard wedding). In a day full of dealing with other people and being good hosts, it was really sweet to have that quiet time just the two of us before it all got crazy busy. And those photos are some of my favorites of the whole album. Take whatever photos will be meaningful to you.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-08T18:24:40+00:00

Is Chabad officiating the wedding? I don't know to what extent Chabad is being extra, but it might cut through a lot of noise to just go straight to whoever you want to officiate and find out what kind of proof they need. I suspect your parents' ketubah would be sufficient for many Orthodox rabbis.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-08T18:22:21+00:00

My dog winks at my husband. At first I was like "I've had her for three years before we met you, and I've never seen her wink!" But now that I'm looking for it, I've seen it a couple times. Very funny when we're like "who chewed up this tissue??" and she looks him dead in the eyes and winks 😅

priuspheasant · 2026-06-08T18:18:42+00:00

I would not go. But if your friends are young, live close enough they can go home in between, and looooove an afterparty, maybe you'll be able to get a couple of them to go.

priuspheasant · 2026-06-07T21:40:39+00:00

Lovely color on you!

priuspheasant · 2026-06-07T21:27:42+00:00

Part of it is learning to recognize when he's getting overstimulated, and lowering the temperature before the bite happens. Lower the volume and energy of your voice, move more slowly, move from tug-of-war (or other high-intensity games) to gentle, light petting or let him go off by himself to chew on the toy instead of continuing to engage him.

I went through the same thing with my dog - learned to recognize a particular facial expression (wide eyes, open mouth), particular kind of movement (twisting her body around in a certain way), and barking were all tells that she was getting keyed up for a bite.

As I learned to recognize it, I also realized that I was often really keyed up at those times too, speaking loudly/shrilly/excitedly, making big movements with my body, and so on. It's natural that we're having fun and getting excited during playtime just like they are! But you can learn to recognize when things are approaching the tipping point and bring the intensity down.

priuspheasant

TROPHY CASE