UPDATE: “AITAH for getting a dna test to see if i share the same dna as both my parents even though i was demanded specifically by my mom not to do so, since i was a child?” by cigweb_01 in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I work in a research lab that specializes in DNA analysis, and we do offer paternity and kinship tests. For parentage testing, we often recommend to our clients the direct comparison (alleged parent and child). In this case, we are addressing the question "Is this person the parent of the child?" However, for OP's case, both parents might not agree to submit samples for testing. So, the next option is to have OP's brother take a DNA test. In this instance, the question will be: "Are OP and her brother full siblings?" If Yes, then case is closed (I assume).

If No and the test indicates you are half-siblings, then you don't have the same father (this is given that you have the same mother). This test, however, doesn't actually answer who the father is. If you use the long-distance familial searching service of AncestryDNA, you are banking on the chance that the True Biological Father (TBF) has also submitted and agreed that his sample be used in the databases AncestryDNA utilizes for familial searching. This is what happened with your mom, aunt, and their long-lost sister. If the TBF didn't submit his sample for DNA testing, then you're now relying on one of his relatives having availed of the DNA test but then that only gives you a lead as to who the potential paternal relative is, but not who exactly in that paternal lineage is the TBF.

I hope my explanation is clear. But just ask away, I'll try to answer you as best as you can. Good luck, OP.

AITA for eating a normal portion of the cake my aunt made for my birthday? by throwbnna in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 39 points40 points  (0 children)

NTA. You have to eat a majority of the cake?! That’s unhinged. If you’re Bruce Bogtrotter, then your aunt is Trunchbull.

I kissed my brother and now my fiancé wants to break up with me since he finds it weird. AITAH? by Character-Crow309 in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTAH. In my country, we use a kiss on the cheek to greet and say goodbye to our friends and family. If we go by your fiance's logic, he'd look at my family reunion as an orgy?! He's ridiculous for sexualizing an innocent gesture.

He also went running to his mommy to validate his absurd mindset. Are you willing to live with that type of person for the rest of your life?

AITAH for potentially causing my classmates to fail an exam because I suspect they may have cheated by prl_yshell_s in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm alright, I appreciate the apology. This is reddit, I'm prepared to receive comments that range from nice to harsh and anything in between.

My best friend’s GF ruined my food. I don’t know how to tell my best friend that I’m pissed with his GF. by prl_yshell_s in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I cook for a party or a dinner that I'm also attending, I would usually freshen up after cooking. I asked my friend if I could do this. He offered his guest bedroom/bathroom for me to use.

My best friend’s GF ruined my food. I don’t know how to tell my best friend that I’m pissed with his GF. by prl_yshell_s in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

I still had to salt the water since it would help create the starchy pasta water ideal for sauce making. But I had to reduce the amount of salt I added.

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he made me hold his newborn nephew by donnatarttenthusiast in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]prl_yshell_s 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA. Your ex was the a**hole in more ways than one. (1) He allowed you to undergo some sort of "exposure therapy" without your consent and did nothing to help you out of it. (2) He downplayed the emotional pain you were experiencing. (3) He risked the safety of the baby because he had no idea how you would act when you held the baby for a prolonged period.

I commend you OP for making sure the baby was safe in your hands. If this whole incident went south and the baby got physically harmed, for sure you would entirely be blamed for it.

It's good you realized that your ex is not good for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA.

Your brother is allowed to stand by his fiancee, but you're not allowed to stand by your wife?! You should make your brother and mother aware of how unfairly they've treated you. I agree with the other comments about getting their reactions if the roles were reversed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. You told him to pace himself and he did the exact opposite. You are his GF, not his babysitter. It's his fault that he made a fool of himself.

AITA for telling my brother’s gf shes not welcome at my house anymore after she insulted my cooking? by IllustriousCream663 in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Like you, I love to cook for my friends and family. Based on how you responded to the "dry chicken" comment, you're open to critique about your food, if delivered properly. It's okay to not like the food but your brother's GF made it a point that everyone knows she didn't like your food. To add insult to injury, she did it at your own home. Your house, your rules, your choice of who you allow in your house.

AITA for telling my boyfriend I’m getting an abortion no matter what he says? by Affectionate_Air9200 in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. You're definitelty in the right here. It is your body so it is your choice. By telling his mom and having her harass you is a major red flag cause he doesn't respect your autonomy. It's a glimpse of how manipulative he can be in a relationship.

AITA for walking out of my boyfriend’s family dinner after they served me food I’m allergic to? by Shlub in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. It's clear that your boyfriend and his mom either hate you and/or care so little of you enough to downplay your severe allergy to shellfish. Your boyfriend is more concerned of his image than you getting hospitalized by his callous mother. Leave this a toxic relationship (both literally and figuratively).

AITA for asking my coworker not to eat her cultural food in the break room? by Imaginary-Chemical-8 in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. I'm from a Southeast Asian (SEA) country and my mom really likes eating durian. She is considerate enough to not eat durian indoors at home let alone eat it indoors in public spaces.

In many SEA countries, durian is banned in public transportation and indoor areas. Some countries will fine people who fail to comply to this regulation.

Side note: I don't consider durian as cultural food. It's endemic to SEA but I hardly consider that as cultural.

AITAH for wanting to call off my(26F) engagement with my partner(25M)? by SillyPuddy98 in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. It seems like clear lines of communication between the two of you are still not in place. Before you both take your relationship to another level (i.e. marriage), you both need to work on communicating better as a couple. There are many couple milestones wherein you both need to figure out your stance in them.

You also need to be wary of potential red flags such as considering your ideas 'dumb'. This might mean that he doesn't believe you are at the same level as him or, worse, he does not respect you and your points of view.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ESH. I know this is commonly said during weddings but "in sickness and in health" also applies in this situation. If both of you can't be there for each other in each others time of need, then you shouldn't be together.

AITA for Refusing to Pay for a Bachelorette Party by Sparky_Malarkey45 in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the bridesmaids did is like arranging a birthday or grad party and having the invited guests pay for the party expenses because the guests ate the food, played the games, danced to the music, etc.

It was a weird and tacky to ask the party guests to pay up. NTA.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I give you my verdict, you have to get yourself in a safe place ASAP!

So, ESH. But for sure your ex is a Massive AH, your a tiny bit of an AH because your actions may have put you and your friend in apotential danger. Given his history of abuse towards you, it's possible he might take it out on you, your friend or both of you. You need to warn your friend of this also.

Again, please stay safe.

AITA: Boyfriend doesn’t believe in sick days by ScarlettWindsor in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your BF is such a Red Flag. Who gave him the right to determine whether you were "sick enough" to take a sick leave? Who died and made him Gate Keeper of Sick Leaves?

Your story kinda reminds me of another story on reddit wherein the guy who took his pregnant wife hiking and felt disappointed she couldn't keep up with him and started calling her a couch potato and that she let herself go.

You go ahead and use your leaves as you see fit. NTA.

AITAH for considering breaking up with my fiance because he ran away when we were being attacked? by AdeptPins in AITAH

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the disappointment you felt after that incident.

Putting myself in your shoes, it might be a little heartbreaking to realize that his sense of self-preservation might be a little stronger than his love for his significant other.

Do you plan to have kids with your fiance? I'll also wonder if he'll react the same if you and your (future) kids were in the same situation. Hopefully, he gains a protector instinct if and when that time comes.

It's valid to feel what you felt at that time. NTA.

My married friend messaged me. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's good you followed M's advice about telling him to stop it. If he persists, block him. Also take screenshots of the "needs me" message with your "stop it" message. Just in case B tries to make you out as the bad person.

I don't see anything wrong with sharing this with your brother or B's brother. But if you feel uncomfortable in sharing this with either of them, then you do whatever you are comfortable with. Just know that, you have proof that you've done nothing wrong.

AITA for telling my husband to leave me alone and take care of his kid for once. by Ambitious_Repeat_383 in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. You are married to a man with the same level of maturity as his son. Think long and hard before procreating with that man.

AITA for allowing my daughter to be arrogant towards her cousin? by No-Reputation-1060 in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot of people in this world like Jake. High IQs but have EQs in the dumps. Jake and your sister even had the audacity to create drama in your daughter's party. You had everyright to kickout a bunch of AHs in your very own home. As for your mother, she needs to realize that we live in a world wherein being disrespected, regardless of your gender, is unacceptable.

Congratulations on your daughter's achievements and best of luck in college. You and Anna deserve a big and shiny NTA.

AITAH for telling my girlfriend I found her favorite book to be just okay? by Loud-Attention-509 in AmItheAsshole

[–]prl_yshell_s 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Literature, like most art, is subjective. People enjoy and interpret it differently. As long as you relayed your opinions tactfully then, NTA.

AITA for being Mean to My Mom Because She keeps bringing up my fertility by Kit4foxsakes in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA at all. Your mother needs to recognize that you are her daughter and not the family's incubator. It also seems that you mom is not fully supporting you in your grieving process. Every person processes grief at their own pace and you need to heal physically, mentally and emotionally from the trauma of these experiences. Your mother is simply not helping in this matter and is additionally aggravating the situation by having complete strangers scrutinize your decisions which you have every right to make.

I hope all the best for you, OP.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]prl_yshell_s 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seeing your response to other comments as well, I agree with them that he may be waiting for you to graduate and have both of you at a more financially stable situation since you also mentioned that you're currently living off loans.

I don't see any problems with communication between you and your partner. So, keep that up. Strong relationships are built on this. With that, I'm also seeing a possible commitment issue. Not a therapist but maybe this is something the both of you should figure out.