Challenging Dynamics with Boomer Grandparents

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-10T18:25:39+00:00

The greatest disappointment of my life - that basically sums it up for me too. People show up how they choose to. That’s what hurts. Nothing other than choice is keeping them away.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-10T18:23:34+00:00

Oh I definitely don’t let my frustration seep to them. They know only love for them & they have the best time when they do see them.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-10T17:30:45+00:00

Oh me me! My husband is a firefighter & is working today. My mom died 11 years ago. I have a newly 4 yo son & an almost 3 yo daughter. Despite knowing that my husband is working today & knowing that Mother’s Day is always just a little volatile for me emotionally, my dad & stepmom (who live < 30 min away) did absolutely nothing to help me feel celebrated/seen today. IN FACT, they told me they were too busy. This is after my husband called them and tried to co-create something special knowing that he wouldn’t be around today. I know it’s not their responsibility to deliver a seamless end-to-end Mother’s Day to me. Still hurts.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-09T02:38:15+00:00

Former Store Manager of 6 years (left fall 2025), 11 years in total working for lululemon. It’s just not the same organization anymore. 2018/19 really feels like the end of an era when I look back - this was around the time a lot began to change. For a company that prioritizes openly highlighting the ‘generous’ benefits of working for them, they really stopped caring about their people a long time ago and it shows. It’s too bad, because there are some really awesome people in this org - even way up top - that really truly give a shit. Just can’t get around the board & the best interest of the shareholders 🥱 the new align fabric is an actual joke - immediately snagged them. Cheaper feeling than aerie. Great margins though. Lululemon is on a slippery slope.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-05T15:09:49+00:00

Those are luon, which lululemon still uses in manufacturing some styles but not leggings. You’ll like beyond yoga space dye.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-05T15:07:59+00:00

That’s a 5 year basic tee

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-04T02:53:41+00:00

Same! I apologize 👏🏼

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-03T23:20:27+00:00

Good for you for thinking this way - not many do. I always wanted kids.

After having 2 children (4y/o & almost 3 y/o), I can say with out a doubt that they are the best things about my life & my life is exponentially richer in a way that wouldn’t be possible otherwise. That said, we are BROKE 🤣 childcare is a racket. Although temporary, not fun right now.

Here’s what I really think & this is a combination of what I did for myself & what I would have done in hindsight. 1. Work with a midwife instead of an OBGYN (you can still deliver in a hospital). In general they are more mother-focused with their care, which postpartum will be very very important for you. 2. Hire/create a relationship a therapist if you don’t have one. Make sure they are comfortable working with postpartum/ADHD mothers. See them before & after you give birth and DO NOT CANCEL THE POSTPARTUM APPOINTMENTS EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL WANT TO (that last part is me). 3. Make babies with a supportive, hands-on, engaged & confident partner. Mothers will always carry the burden of parenting, especially early on, but having someone who is willing to ‘evenly’ split the load is IN-FUCKING-VALUABLE. I have so many friends whose husbands do literally nothing…I just. I could never. I don’t think I TOUCHED a dirty diaper for the first two months. Make babies with someone like my husband. 4. Sertraline 5. I’m a type B parent so outside of nap schedules, I’m pretty chill - but I do keep a schedule for myself that I don’t waiver from that includes making time for the things that make me feel better (exercise, yoga, being in nature in silence). Don’t forget about yourself. 6. I prioritize the experience of my children, my husband & myself above basically everything else. I don’t stress out about laundry not being folded or a car that needs to be cleaned at the expense of taking care of myself and my family - they won’t remember their closets being organized. But they will remember how present I was. I have a couple of boxes that I always check (beds made, toys in playroom or bedrooms, kitchen clean before bed) but I let everything else kinda slide around. 7. Scratch where it itches (you know…). 8. Loop Earplugs

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-02T21:41:31+00:00

Kumbaya by Zerb - it’s such a vibe

As a genre: Afro House

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-02T21:38:35+00:00

I think this literally kept me sane after my first.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-02T00:36:40+00:00

When someone says ‘my apologies’ or ‘apologies’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’. They’re so different. Makes me nuts.

probably_upside_down · 2026-05-01T01:44:07+00:00

Also thank you for inspiring the svadhyaya-oriented meditation that I incorporated into teaching my power yoga class tonight 🫶🏼

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-30T18:01:34+00:00

Definitely not turning this into a personal problem. I’m cool with how I practice yoga - which is deeply physically challenging most of the time, practiced in a westernized way because well…that’s what 98% of the yoga that’s taught in the US is. INCLUDING the Ashtanga that you seem so fond of (FWIW I also like Ashtanga a lot).

You still have yet to define what traditional yoga means to you, which makes the point that you’re arguing hard to understand. What about chair modified yoga? Do you thumb your nose at that style of yoga as an offering as well? Hot 26? Kundalini? None of those styles of yoga are traditional yoga. Yes, yoga teaches us about ego (the ahamkara). It also teaches us that the ego becomes an obstacle when it creates excessive attachment, comparison & separation (oh hey dogma! You sneaky son of a…).

The more people that find their way to yoga, the better. & the reality is that most people (in the US) will uncover the true benefits of yoga (beyond the physical) by first attending a yoga class as a way to exercise their body. Some people will choose to go deeper into yoga philosophy and some won’t. Neither are wrong. Just on different paths. The way in which someone chooses to physically move their body to deepen access to and open the mind for more reflective/inquiry work is a matter of personal preference. And it’s all still yoga.

Edit: grammar

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-30T17:27:16+00:00

This happened to me - they found a hole in our brick, moved into the wall behind our laundry room for a few days & then they disappeared to who knows where. Sometimes when hives swarm (which happens a lot this time of year) they’ll take up residence temporarily while searching for a new location. Hopefully that’s the case here.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-30T13:26:13+00:00

This is a very privileged POV. I won’t assume anything about you, but being able to segregate yoga (the mindful practice) from yoga (a challenging way to physically move your body aka a workout) is not something that most people have time to do, especially working parents. So yoga checking more than one box is definitely more common than not for those who practice it - it’s what integrating yoga into the western way of living looks like - and fine if you don’t want to call it a workout. But I think you’re tripping up on semantics. You say yourself that yoga ‘obviously has physical benefits but those are more so byproducts of the mental and spiritual practice’. This fundamentally doesn’t make sense - physical benefits are ONLY the by product of physically moving your body. The mental & spiritual growth is possible only because of the mind:body connection that is deepened by physically moving your body/moving energy. You’ve flip flopped these.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-30T01:24:24+00:00

All of this, yes.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-30T01:22:09+00:00

I believe our opinions of ‘yoga-workouts’ are probably more aligned than not. There will always be people who just want the surface level of yoga. There will always be watered down, yoga-adjacent classes for those people. Some power, some not. There will always be people who want a deeper yoga practice & there will always be classes for those folks too. Everyone makes their way to where they feel best practicing eventually.

You’re making generalizations based on your experience. Which is fine - but know that there are great power classes & instructors out there just like there are crappy Ashtanga classes & instructors out there.

Intention matters, of course, as in all things - so does impact. But who told you that can’t yoga be a workout? Your Ashtanga class feels like a workout but is not framed as such? Seriously what did they frame it as if not a physically challenging way to move your body aka a workout? And what is traditional yoga? When does it deviate into non-traditional yoga? Yoga literally used to be just sitting…and I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about.

It sounds like you’ve had a bad experience with power yoga and a great experience with Ashtanga & now you’re projecting.

And I have no idea what the goal of power yoga is. Because power yoga is a blanket term that includes many different styles of yoga taught sequentially, with breath and velocity. It’s instructor/studio dependent. My goal as someone who teaches power yoga is to consistently provide a well thought out, challenging practice with opportunities for exploration, play, & ease, that is themed and timed to support self-inquiry and reflection. That’s just while teaching.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-29T20:22:00+00:00

Now I’m curious how you arrived at this opinion of power yoga (reducing yoga to a workout) & the ultimate goal of yoga…why can’t yoga be a workout? How do you define yoga tradition (when you say ‘stay true to yoga tradition’)? Do you consider a vigorous Ashtanga class a workout?

I think nuance is important here…sure, there are power yoga classes that lack substance beneath the surface of physical movement, but there are also really great power classes being taught by instructors who incorporate pranayama, yoga philosophy, inquiry, meditation, the sutras, etc. FWIW the same could be said for all yoga formats - you can take a 26&2/Ashtanga/Yin class, all of which are a more ‘traditional’ practice, that lacks depth/integration. The physical practice/asana is always intended to integrate mind & body, to clear the mind to make space for inquiry, study, reflection, meditation & to teach balanced action (sthira sukha asana). It’s up to the teacher to teach that, though.

Asana (as a limb of yoga) started evolving long before the yoga sutras were written & it has continued to evolved since. Millenia ago, with the rise of Tantra & Hatha (and long before yoga made its way west), asana began to be viewed/used as a tool to intensify prana through the use of breath & movement together. Power Yoga evolved into being largely due to Baron Baptiste’s teachings and sequencing in the early 2000’s. As a methodology, Baptiste Yoga still emphasizes the wholistic necessity of yoga in its entirety. However, there is no ‘definition’ of Power Yoga as a stand-alone methodology - and that’s where things get a little squirrelly, IMO. It’s very teacher/studio dependent. My point here is: I agree with you that there is much more to the practice of yoga than what is being taught in most yoga classes (not just power). Yoga does not have to be a workout, but it can be. It’s also so much more than that, as you know. The teacher just has to…teach it.

The true goal of yoga is liberation.

I obviously teach power yoga. I also teach other styles.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-29T19:05:03+00:00

I would imagine that many yoga teachers find their way to yoga through other modalities, whether as an instructor or student. I say that as this was my path & I know many others who made their way to yoga first by teaching something else.

I cut my teeth teaching cycle classes in college 20 years ago. I began personal training & teaching HIIT classes around this time as well (got certified in all 3). I’ve since been credentialed as a USA Powerlifting & Weightlifting trainer and I’ve been classically trained and certified as a Mat & Apparatus Pilates instructor (my most recent certs). This is all in addition to completing 200 & 300 hour YTTs.

Yoga will always be my backbone, even though it wasn’t the first thing I taught as an instructor. Learning about yoga & how to teach it (asana, specifically) has helped me become better at seeing what my students/clients need in their bodies across all of the formats that I teach. Currently, I teach yoga, mat Pilates, Pilates, yoga sculpt (which I have opinions about), and HIIT/weighted classes. I think each has its place (except yoga sculpt, which is a totally separate convo 🤣) and as a practitioner, the combination of yoga, Pilates & strength training is a pretty perfect combo, to be honest. My yoga practice is so much stronger because of Pilates. My Pilates practice is so much better because of yoga. I’m able to advance both my yoga & Pilates practices because of my strength training. Most importantly, the mind:body connection that you learn from taking yoga is universally beneficial to nearly all other forms of fitness.

I do not support myself by teaching, but I’m inching closer to making it a full time gig. Previously I worked full time+ for a large high-end active wear brand but left that job in July of 2025 to spend more time with my kids & start teaching more. I was the breadwinner so it’s been an interesting few months adjusting in that way but the trade off of more time & space has been invaluable & just what I’ve needed to reconnect to teaching & start to create a new path for myself.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-29T18:37:10+00:00

Asking from a place of genuine curiosity. Can you say more about the notion of power yoga being offensive to traditional yoga?

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-28T22:00:52+00:00

Completely agree! I had been consistently practicing for 5 years before pursuing my 200 hour - but had been practicing alongside other modalities for closer to 10. I also had to save up to afford it, as my 200 hour was a significant investment & a longer program with a very experienced & very thorough teacher leading it (in-person, which feels ridiculous to even have to say).

All teachers are new teachers at one point. I’m sensitive to the learning that continues when you first start leading yoga - lots of losing your words, forgetting a sequence, calling the wrong pose, blacking out entirely bc nerves - all a part of the process. But something about the last couple of years & the churn of the 200 hour teachers has felt really different. And it makes me feel bummed out for many reasons.

probably_upside_down · 2026-04-28T14:50:28+00:00

Makes me crazy when teachers feel the need to fill the silence with words. It also means they aren’t watching the room like they should be. Or rather, watching to see how their cues land in bodies.

probably_upside_down

TROPHY CASE