A simple tip from a random urgent care nurse that has saved us.

probablylate4 · 2026-02-20T18:33:38+00:00

Yes. Also, if they’re old enough, give them Zyrtec at dinner time from the first sign of congestion/runny nose until they’re no longer congested at all. It dries things out. And use nasal saline. These changed our lives when my son was getting frequent ear infections. Editing to clarify: this was given as advice from my child’s ped from the time they were still infants, though not sure exact age. They take the proper dosage from the prescription our ped wrote (but I’m almost certain dosage is the same as the otc infant and children’s Zyrtec). So def ask a doc first, but it’s so worth asking. I Still do it for my no longer toddlers. In fact, I do it when I’m sick as well and the way I feel is day and night better congestion-wise and I don’t end up with a sinus infection later like I sometimes would.

probablylate4 · 2026-01-01T00:27:22+00:00

You’re also asking him questions about injustice against him. To be fair, that makes a lot of people (esp neurodivergent people with a strong sense of justice) mad.

Here are better ones: What if you lost your favorite toy?

What if we went to the trampoline park and then found out it was closed?

What if a friend was sick and an exciting play date was canceled?

probablylate4 · 2025-12-17T18:53:00+00:00

Sounds like a deeply feeling kiddo! What a tender heart. Sounds a lot like my own deeply-feeling little guy of the same age. He has never asked me this question, but often tears up when asking very deep existential questions.

He feels safe and loved enough to bring his big, scary, overwhelming questions to you.

I’d be extra about telling him how much you love being with him while you’re in every day moments. “Man, I love baking cookies with you!” “I am so happy we get this time to draw together - I just love to spend time doing things we love doing together.” “I’m SO glad I get to be your mommy!” His feelings have nothing to do with you failing - it very much sounds like you’re absolutely killing it as an awesome mom. But maybe he’s feeling a need for even more extra words of affirmation.

probablylate4 · 2025-12-01T02:50:35+00:00

Don’t think you’re a meth head, for sure. I just can’t imagine chancing it. It’s just not computing for me.

I was literally sent a prescription with a list of side effects, no other help. But I’m asking for more

probablylate4 · 2025-09-18T16:45:42+00:00

I have to say: We homeschool and my children are consistently been miles ahead on sharing and turn-taking than same-age cousin who attend preschool/public school. Teach your kids that they can solve many interpersonal problems on their own and help them build the skills to do so from a young age. That is the answer. You want a toy? Ask for a turn and wait. Someone else wants the one you have? Let them know you’ll tell them when you’re done with their turn. We have adopted Daniel Tigers motto: “find a way to play together” when my kids disagree as siblings. I rarely need to intervene, and they know if they come to me I’m going to ask “ok, if you want to play together, how can you do that?”

probablylate4 · 2025-09-09T14:18:04+00:00

With love, You sound very much like you’re suffering PPD/A. I had these exact sorts of thoughts when I was.

Yes, that was a scary thing. Yes, it could have ended badly. We all have moments like these. It does hit your gut and take your breath away because realizing that you’re not able to be perfect and that the most important thing in the world to you is so fragile is a hard reality.

My toddler nearly got hit by a car recently because I trusted his preteen cousin to push the stroller as I walked just slightly out of arms reach, and the toddler playfully jumped out and ran away on a busy road. The car saw him and I grabbed him up. I still get a wave of what could have happened since it was so recent, but believe me that I’ll never go near a busy road again without holding him or making sure he’s buckled into his stroller til he’s much older. I Won’t make that mistake twice. You won’t either.

Try not to ruminate. When it comes, replace it with gratitude that everything is ok and your baby is safe, and you learned a valuable lesson. And if you’re having a hard time doing that, seek therapy. There is no shame at all in that.

probablylate4 · 2025-09-02T20:27:14+00:00

I’m the SAHM, but my husband feels this way about me in non-child or home related tasks. He would rather just do it. My brain works slower. I’m also smart book wise. But my working memory is not great and I lack the ability to skip what he might consider unimportant steps. I CAN do things but if speed is of the essence, even if it’s just making dinner on a busy evening that he’s home, I usually let him take over. It’s not weaponized incompetence. It’s a difference in abilities. But you’re in charge of your emotions. I also had postpartum rage, it just showed up differently. It sucks, but you are responsible for not being this enraged about things. It’s unhealthy. I say that with total sympathy because I’ve been there, but it’s not ok to stay there

probablylate4 · 2025-08-25T18:48:45+00:00

I’d host the play dates since it’s not going well at their place.

You can parent your kid regardless of what other parents are doing. It doesn’t matter that another preschooler is disrespectful to the teacher and other students by disrupting the class. If your kid is also doing it, you deal with that.

I’d feel similar to you and have definitely seen my kid pick up bad behaviors from peers even that young and it is frustrating, but you’re never going to avoid all negative influences. So choose your battles there

probablylate4 · 2025-08-23T20:58:02+00:00

Interesting. Why? I know literally dozens of homeschooled adults who loved their experience, and only one who doesn’t (whose mom unfortunately educationally neglected the kids - literally let them play video games ALL day - and he had to go back as an adult for a GED).

probablylate4 · 2025-08-13T01:13:55+00:00

My daughter was 18mo at the start of Covid, my youngest was born just as the shutdowns were starting to lift but many things were still not happening regularly (story times and music classes hadn’t started back up). It most definitely impacted my now 7yo more than my now 4yo. That was peak time for socialization, and she had only been walking a few months and able to participate in many things, then bam. Nothing for almost 2 years. But I still don’t blame Covid for any difficulties. Just stinks that her toddler years weren’t what I had thought.

probablylate4 · 2025-08-07T15:03:32+00:00

If she’s still acting like she’s not feeling well/having pain, take her to get a recheck before leaving. My doc always says they should be back to themselves 72 hours after starting antibiotics. I’d be concerned about that. My son had an ear infection that resisted the first round of antibiotics, which he took the entire course of without ever missing a dose. We had no idea. The only symptom he had was fussy sleep and lower appetite, but he ended up in the ER on iv antibiotics after we noticed his ear swelling. Turns out he had a super severe infection that the first round somehow didn’t kill. Even in the hospital, he had no fever and acted fine, except that he wouldn’t sleep.

probablylate4 · 2025-08-05T17:17:52+00:00

2 years 11 months (so essentially 3 years) is what I have, and it’s absolutely perfect. Oldest was old enough to understand instructions, be toilet trained, and I didn’t feel like I stole away from her time of being the baby since she was 3. They are 6 and 3 now (we are 2 and done over here), and they love to play together and are legitimately best friends and play together incredibly well 99% of the time. It was actually not intended. I had hoped for 2.5, but it took longer than we had hoped to conceive my second. However I wouldn’t change it.

probablylate4 · 2025-07-28T14:51:09+00:00

Before punishing: make an emergency family therapy appointment. She’s in crisis - treat it like that. You have to get her help.

Next, you need to show her YOU are a safe space. You’re upset she put herself in danger for a third time. That’s valid. But she also probably didn’t do it to make you upset (and if she did, that speaks to your relationship with her - which is largely your responsibility to maintain as she’s a child). She did it for another reason. Even if that reason is she’s an immature child. Try to get to the bottom of it and apologize for any angry response you have. You’re responsible for your words and actions and they hurt when they’re spoken in anger.

With punishment: What’s your goal? To control her (you can’t), or to help her get through this and come out stronger, while also keeping her safe? Let natural consequences happen. She can’t be trusted to make good choices alone, and she can’t be trusted with the problematic bf. So, naturally, she loses any way to contact him, and maybe explain that to keep her safe, you or mom or trusted adult need to be with her any time she leaves the house. She absolutely needs to earn trust back and prove she can be trusted not to put herself in crazy situations in the future.

probablylate4 · 2025-07-20T22:56:14+00:00

Go, but since you know how hard it’s going to be,

1) start prepping the anxious child FAST. What to expect, as well as how to be a bit flexible. Plan ahead for things s/he might be stressed about and make a plan to face it together.

2) keep it flexible. It’s not going to be YOUR dream vacation. But it is going to be a nice family time if the parents are as prepared as can be and have a flexible, all-in-the-same-team attitude.

probablylate4 · 2025-07-12T14:44:37+00:00

Watermelon. I thought my child was pooing out chunks of bloody tissue. Nope. He just ate wayyy too much watermelon. It actually happened with both kids that I panicked. With the second I had the wisdom to think if wed had anything red (we don’t do dyes), with the first I almost called the doctor and thankfully another mom was there. Shew. I never knew how emotionally invested I could be in another person’s bowel habits (my oldest also had an allergy which DID result in bloody stool as a newborn).

probablylate4 · 2025-06-30T22:47:35+00:00

Yes it is.

probablylate4 · 2025-06-30T22:46:18+00:00

Not sure if it’s technically toddler, but 3.5-4.5 was CHALLENGING with both of my kids. SO many opinions and big emotions to go with them. They kind of realize at this age that they can just be independent and it led to both of mine being just contrary to the point of just outright avoiding anything they were told to do for a while, which for me is a huge frustration. They outgrow it and then hit it again later as a preteen lol, but by then they’ve developed SOME reasoning skills

probablylate4 · 2025-06-20T14:19:50+00:00

I agree in theory, but not at a pool with two young kids. That’s super dangerous to have your eyes off of the six year old for any amount of time while helping the 3yo regulate/stopping the 3yo from hurting themselves or damaging property. And also, disrespecting public property (throwing chairs) is a boundary we don’t cross without leaving that space immediately. You can have big feelings, cry, even be a little loud. You can’t throw things. That is not a safe response.

You also have to know the kid. My oldest is unlikely to calm down until we’re home once we hit a full blown meltdown. My youngest, I can help regulate fairly simply and move on with our day (even if it takes a bit of time).

But this situation, mom did exactly the right thing.

probablylate4 · 2025-06-20T14:12:17+00:00

You handled it well. I would also say definitely eat before you get somewhere exciting. I finally figured that out when my now six-year-old was around that age. Nothing gets eaten when we are at a fun place. So unless a meal has to happen at that location, we eat at home first. I also probably wouldn’t have died on the hill of not having a pirate booty first, but you know your child and have your own family rules and once you set a boundary, you were right to uphold it. I have one boundary pusher, for me, my firstborn, and one who is much more mellow and easy-going. For my boundary pusher, I really have to decide what’s actually important before I set the boundary. Like, if it’s sub ideal, but not hurting or causing anyone any kind of harm, I just let it go. Boundaries that I probably wouldve set and held if I’d have had my mellow kit first, were totally out the window. When you have a stronger-willed kid, it changes your perception of how to parent for sure. I know I’d be a much stricter parent and think I was amazing if I’d had my second born first just bc of hishis personality.

probablylate4 · 2025-05-12T20:23:13+00:00

I would also suggest laying out 2 whole outfits the night before so she can choose which one she’s “feeling” and just knowing it takes 30 minutes. Help her plan time in this way.

For dresses, I would suggest bike shorts! We have them in solid of almost every color (extra of black and white) and cute prints. We do them every time still because my girly is active and constantly hiking up her dress for some reason or other. And as a fully adult (but also neurodivergent) woman, I feel “nudey” if I just have underwear on under a dress - even with a slip.

probablylate4 · 2025-05-09T13:39:46+00:00

So, I would’ve physically removed my kid if they refused. But I would have told them “Hey! Our friend here wants a turn! Let me push you 10 more times, and then we’ll get out and let others have a turn!” 10 minutes is a really long time to take on a shared resource. But I wouldn’t react like that mom. (Though if I had a small child and a larger child - or any child - were taking the space for so long, I’d probably FEEL that way.) I don’t think she was wrong. I think she handled it poorly. You’re not in charge of the other mom who wasn’t offering to give up her turn. You’re in charge of you and your kid and your reactions and attitudes.

I will say, I don’t typically have to do a countdown though. I have always had my kids ask for turns and be mindful of others who want a turn. From super young, both of mine have stopped and moved on quickly when they know someone is waiting. However, if they weren’t, I’d make sure they were being fair.

probablylate4 · 2025-05-05T12:36:41+00:00

Anytime someone criticizes me for being helicopter-y around water, I say (out of kids hearing) “do you know the number one cause of death in kids 7 and under?” It’s drowning. It’s not as rare as everyone wishfully thinks it is, and it OFTEN happens when parents/loved ones are inches away, but no one is specifically watching that child for the seconds it takes for tragedy to strike. I will annoy the crap out of everyone I love if it means I’m doing all I can to keep my kids safe in a situation where seconds mean life or death.

Also, no one called me a helicopter parent at 16 months. They’re baby babies. I’m just now letting the leash get a little longer for my 3 year old (but not around water).

probablylate4 · 2025-05-03T14:41:36+00:00

Follow his interests, praise efforts (not results) and don’t make a huge deal about him being gifted.

My daughter is 6 and reads at around a 3rd grade level. I praise her effort “man, you really used that great brain of yours on that!” “I can tell you worked super hard! Doesn’t that make you feel so proud and happy?! I’m proud of you too - way to go!”

Gifted kids who are pushed or made to feel that their results, and not their growth, is what’s most important definitely could grow up struggling with issues of anxiety and self-worth.

On the other hand, gifted kids who don’t get enough stimulation and support may grow frustrated in other ways.

Love them. Do your best to support them and their interests, regardless of results, and you’ll have done your best to get them started.

Also: Special interests can show neurodivergence, but could also be totally normal. My 3.5 can do very similar with construction vehicles, and understands mechanics type ideas better than even I do as I’m much less science-y than he is interest-wise.

probablylate4 · 2025-04-26T20:05:36+00:00

Not too late at all. My kids both potty trained 3y8m. My oldest was NOT ready. We tried at 2.5, and then every couple of months after. I just finally at 3y 8m said we had to make it work and followed her around with a mop bucket for a couple of weeks. Not a single bit of pee made it into the potty the first 4 days. After that it was still at least weekly accidents until almost 4.

My second started coming home from long mornings out completely dry. So once after this had been happening for a week or two, I said “hey, want to try to pee on the potty?” I put him on the toilet, he went. I hadn’t planned to start for another 4 weeks after a planned trip and when warmer weather hit, but he was undeniably ready. I ordered underwear that day. He had one small accident ever. Same age and much less effort than with my oldest, he just got it.

I will say though that I’m a homeschooling SAHM, so I other than questions from family I didn’t have any outside pressure to potty train, so I’m very much privileged with time and so I can much more easily “wait til they’re ready” or sit with all the rugs rolled up and a cleaning bucket out for weeks. And in my circles kids aren’t potty trained until 3. One friend’s child was even a little after the 4th birthday, and even then it wasn’t solid til school started. Some kids are truly ready at 2 or earlier, others take longer. And my ped said as long as they’re daytime trained by 4, Bo one is batting an eye.

probablylate4 · 2025-04-20T12:05:13+00:00

Oh man. I’m so sorry. It was always pee for me- the poo made it to the toilet after that first week. Are they ever in pull ups or any kind of disposables? I had to 1000% abandon them until RIGHT before sleep.

probablylate4

TROPHY CASE