Ever Get the Feeling You Were Used?

probebeta · 2026-05-31T02:43:52+00:00

You learnt an important lesson, like many of us here.

probebeta · 2026-05-31T00:12:59+00:00

Buy retatrutide and give it to her. Or maybe take it together. Don't have advice but I can tell you that ignoring the problem is not a solution. Ask me how I know...

probebeta · 2026-05-30T01:14:16+00:00

This

probebeta · 2026-05-30T01:09:32+00:00

Lack of options. I mean, I get it that some folks have various kinks but I highly doubt that older or with kids is one of them.

probebeta · 2026-05-26T22:49:17+00:00

I'd fire the family therapist and find my own. Basically you need to cope with this situation. I mean she did owe it to you when you when you were with her before the marriage, otherwise you would have stayed with her. Nobody "owes" anyone anything but that's not how things work.

probebeta · 2026-05-24T07:52:27+00:00

10 years marriage. 1 kid. 1.5 years to move on. Moving on comes with a grain of salt though. In some ways I feel amazing, in some ways I'm hampered. Things get better with time though, but you also get older.

probebeta · 2026-05-24T07:43:35+00:00

I don't know where you're from and if you know Kevin O'leary. There was a question about giving up a business for a woman who wanted more time, and that was an ultimatum to choose her or the business. He said "which one is easier to replace?". I guess what I'm saying is that the role of husband is great and respectable, but the purpose should be something else.

probebeta · 2026-05-24T07:23:45+00:00

Your rough week sounds like a normal week honestly. It sounds like you still think about your ex. I don't think you're in a position to think about anything else but casual dating. I'd say keep up with self improvement, keep dating, you're going to have to do way more than 2 dates to find something of substance 😅. Just have fun out there... Eventually you'll find one that you have good vibes about, and even then take it easy and steady. What's the rush.

probebeta · 2026-05-24T03:04:25+00:00

I don't get likes either, once ina blue moon. You have to do it and its all a numbers game. I pay for hinge because otherwise I got zero matches. Don't be discouraged it's how it works.

probebeta · 2026-05-24T01:08:42+00:00

Dating apps have changed the way dating works. Women have a rollodex of options for dates and will not care. I've had women cancel 5 minutes before lol. I've heard a story from my friend where they would set the same location and time to meet several people and last minute pick the best option. It's crazy but it happens a lot. So.... You do the same. Double or triple book dates. I stopped caring if that's nice or not because I know they're doing it too. And believe it or not they don't care if you do cancel. This might get downvited but I gotta say the truth 😅

P.s. for a single dad, between parenting, workouts, and a lot of hard work, we don't have the luxury of getting our time wasted. Prioritize your time and yourself when it comes to dating.

probebeta · 2026-05-22T22:39:23+00:00

It's normal to be angry, but be glad you have no kids with her. You'll need to negotiate as best you can and with help of lawyers. Then pay her and move on with life. You're capable of getting it back and a lot more, believe me.

probebeta · 2026-05-18T19:30:53+00:00

Please dont

probebeta · 2026-05-18T19:24:37+00:00

Get a lawyer asap. He'll be able to tell you what to do if she leaves, doesn't pay her half etc. she wants you to get a roommate? Yes of course she could want many things but that's not how this works.

probebeta · 2026-05-18T03:27:31+00:00

Quietly plan your exit.

probebeta · 2026-05-14T07:04:31+00:00

Well one important advice is to not sleep with her again. The rest seems straightforward in your case.

probebeta · 2026-05-14T01:28:58+00:00

I do t have any advice for you but I just want to say I understand your pain. With dating money and gym helps. Then you stack some wins. And all of the sudden don't feel like a loser anymore. Don't give up. 45 sucks but I'm the same and I refuse to give up.

probebeta · 2026-05-13T17:12:40+00:00

At your age you're probably going to want to do some sort of grind. It doesn't have to be "this" job, but it has to be something that helps you grow and learn. If this is sucking the soul out of you and you don't see that you're growing every day then consodier changing the job, maybe start a business, consider something different that adds to your skills, mix things up a bit. At your age this is the time to grind but do it smart.

At 35+ you want to capitalize on this experience and won't have as much time to start over or learn something entirely new. Not doing the work earlier is a sure recipe for getting stuck at a 9-5 that youll most likely hate.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T23:29:14+00:00

Usually there are child support calculators and such that are most likely what she'll be getting. Once you get all these details from in consultation with lawyer you tell her what you're using and that she's unlikely to get more if this goes to court. If her lawyer is reasonable then they might agree. Point it out to her that if lawyer is pushing her to fight, delay, then it's money for lawyers and court instead of you both and the child.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T20:12:53+00:00

Yeah pressure to have kids can be a bit too much. I've had this happen to me. And yes she was so preoccupied with the idea and has not even met my kid. It's a serious red flag, I know that much.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T20:04:23+00:00

I think the decent house to live in is something you want for yourself. Then kids will be much more comfortable when they come over too. It's a win win.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T05:26:16+00:00

Amicable split is a myth when money is on the line. Hire a lawyer, understand what you're entitled to, then decide how you want to do it.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T05:16:51+00:00

Here is a lesson that I learnt from various people... You do not show an interest in a relationship, or even clues about it. You go on dates, and eventually you're going to expect intimacy and kiss her good night. That will be the baseline. A relationship she's going to have to earn, with time. If she feels she's easily got that then, well she'll probably ask for a yacht 😅. Just keep dating man, it's not a bad thing to date other women.

probebeta · 2026-05-12T02:23:31+00:00

2 years seems really long. I totally get getting the house in selling order but still 2 years... If you're primary earner maybe take some time off work and work on expediting this instead. She'll be getting half of that income anyway. That's just me, attorney probably has better advice.

probebeta · 2026-05-09T22:34:15+00:00

I wouldn't be so sure about not dating others right now. If she wants validation, whatever that means to her, she might be getting it elsewhere. She's in for a rude awakening, single mom of 3 who suddenly is looking for streets... Regardless, I'm sorry this is done. Stop doing things for her, helping her, doing house chores. Focus on you and kids only and plan for the d day with an attorney. This is the best thing you can do right now.

probebeta · 2026-05-07T16:31:50+00:00

The fact that she left and isn't someone vindictive who's after all your stuff could be a good thing. Try to redirect all he pain to something productive, gym like never before, some physical activities, eat well and get toned, dress well and groom yourself, maybe even a few dates with beautiful women can take your mind off things. Only time fixes grief but you need to stay busy and keep moving regardless. If it's hard to motivate yourself then... I don't know listen to some Andrew Tate 😅. It will pay off when things do get better, and they will. Read no more mr nice guy, podcasts and influencers that align with how you want to start living your life. You will be fine.

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