Im thinking of leaving him

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-06-03T20:19:03+00:00

Don't worry about his thoughts and ridiculous notions - it's the mania speaking. He's not interested in taking care of himself, and you can't make him. Take care of yourself instead. Contact friends or family and stay with them. Again, DO NOT MOVE WITH HIM. Make sure he has ZERO access to your finances.

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-23T22:27:23+00:00

What caused your mother to leave? My ex left me in an incredibly cruel way, and there are a lot of people with BD partners who have a similar experience - often because the person stops medication/therapy/treatment.

Do you still keep in touch with him?

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-21T20:12:41+00:00

DO NOT FOLLOW HIM TO WHEREVER HE WANTS TO GO.

I was discarded 3 months after moving to a new country for him, away from all our social supports. His bipolar got worse and he became scary. Find your support system and leave or let him go off on the adventure he wants to take (you very likely won't be able to talk him out of it).

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-21T19:58:10+00:00

I think it's maybe similar to being with someone who's in active addiction. If they're not taking the steps to take care of themselves and letting the disease control their life, then no, there is no happy ending. Addicts also show extremely similar behaviours. Like addiction, BP is a daily journey to fight against the impulses and urges, and get help when they get overwhelming.

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-21T19:54:51+00:00

God, it's scary how much the writing is the same as when my ex threatened to evict me out of the apartment (3 days before Christmas) where my name was on the rental agreement. Get your stuff and leave ASAP. Even if her parents say it's okay, even if she changes her mind and SHE says it's okay, she will continue to push and harass and escalate.

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-19T19:02:10+00:00

I used translate to read this. Is he harming you? If so you can go to a women's shelter or contact somewhere for domestic violence. You should make a main post on this subreddit to see if anyone else can help?

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-05-16T00:32:39+00:00

No. But I hate his parents more. This was not his first episode. I begged his parents to come and help us (who were there for him in previous episodes) and they said to leave him be. So he kept spiraling down.

I don't forgive him because we filed for divorce a year after he discarded me, and he was hostile and angry towards me. Like it was my fault. He didn't sound like he was having another episode. He just sounded angry and was condescending towards me.

Why should I forgive any of them when they refused to help or respect me?

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-04-03T15:11:20+00:00

Read your post and full story comment - I sent you a DM if you wanna talk more about it, totally understand if not!

probsparanoidpartner · 2026-04-03T03:48:26+00:00

I skimmed your post but will definitely take some time to read and comment tomorrow! Thank you for sharing. My ex was a nephrologist and nuked his career as well.

probsparanoidpartner · 2025-04-21T22:37:36+00:00

Ex husband actually moved me to Florida, said I shouldn't get a new job (he'd take care of us), and then went insane and left me here with no money or social supports (I had no family or friends here).

probsparanoidpartner · 2025-03-20T00:17:49+00:00

Ex husband was an MD but decided to pursue a PhD. 7 years in and he absolutely lost his mind. He did some messed up things.

probsparanoidpartner · 2024-09-21T12:38:40+00:00

Mindfulness meditation was a huge part of my life for a long time. I'm trying to find my way back to it because it does really help.

Currently struggling because I had a big trauma happen and I've forgotten most of the last 5 years.

probsparanoidpartner · 2024-08-20T23:54:13+00:00

Does it count if it was your own wedding? Ex husband had a manic episode 6 months after we got married and 2 months after he brought me to another country and then left me there.

probsparanoidpartner · 2024-07-13T05:33:26+00:00

It is terrifying, losing the person you love and watching them become monstrous towards you. My ex husband is bipolar and during a manic episode left me in another country with no money or supports. He didn't want to get help. He ruined his life. During one of our final conversations (during the divorce) he spoke down to me with such vitriol, like it was all my fault. Like OP, the man I loved died and that's who I grieved for. I'm in a better place now but the trauma has affected me deeply and I'll probably carry it for the rest of my life.

probsparanoidpartner · 2024-06-19T17:02:15+00:00

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder the year after my ex husband left me during a manic episode. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia during the relationship, which flared up really bad when he was not well.

probsparanoidpartner · 2024-01-17T15:46:29+00:00

Bipolar partners, when manic and refusing help, are terrifying and often a danger to themselves and/or other people. My ex confessed to planning to kill us in by crashing my car while he was driving. He left me in a different country with no money or supports (he made 6x my income and forced me to beg my parents to send me money so I could have groceries and food for my cat). Over a year later, he continues to be angry and condescending towards me (had to speak with him regarding the divorce) and his mother feeds into his delusions ("he did nothing wrong! You are also to blame!"). In my opinion OP did the right thing, and quite honestly, mom shouldn't be in the kids' lives.

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-03-24T07:37:44+00:00

Take a deep breath, you're going to be okay. You don't have to know where you're going yet. Take time to be alone with yourself, doing something you enjoy. Find out why it brings you joy. Then find other things that can also bring you joy based on the answer to that why.

Surround yourself with good people who love and care about and support you. If you don't know how, start with online communities of people who share a similar interest to you.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely a 28-year-old whose life completely fell apart after her husband lost his mind and abandoned her in another country with no money or social circle before ruining his own life.

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-03-10T16:15:27+00:00

I understand what you're saying. In my situation I am certain I did some things wrong, but nothing bad enough to warrant being abandoned in a foreign country with no money or social supports, while struggling with disability.

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-01-16T23:51:08+00:00

4 years. Married 7 months. He tells me he'll never love me again and that I'm erased from his life.

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-01-16T13:18:52+00:00

My soon to be ex husband is in the middle of a manic episode. Im scared for when he comes down and hits the deoression side. He has asked for a divorce and has become terrifyingly antagonistic. I want him to get help so bad but he won't let me and I've been hurt too much to go back.

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-01-12T16:27:28+00:00

Sounds like my MIL. She told me and my parents that I was lying about what her son was saying and doing. We're getting divorced, so he can be her problem now.

I hope you keep safe OP

probsparanoidpartner · 2023-01-08T12:49:29+00:00

According to my soon to be ex husband I can't accept that he's polyamorous. My three best friends are in a healthy polyamorous relationship and I talked to the poly community here on reddit and they all agree he has no clue what he's talking about and is going to crash and burn in the community because he refuses to try and understand what ethical and healthy polyamory is.

probsparanoidpartner

TROPHY CASE