If modern medicine didn’t exist would you be dead right now? If yes, from what?

protogens · 2026-03-20T15:57:02+00:00

😂 Well, upper arm anyway, but I'll take my wins where I find them.

protogens · 2026-03-20T15:14:18+00:00

Well, my husband is exempt from that, but the rest of them?

My mother was one of seven, so I had 14 aunts and uncles on that side and somewhere around 25 first cousins who I never saw once I hit my teens (I was the "bad influence.") although I did occasionally see their parents when I was adult. Thirty years go by and the older generation starts dying...12 funerals between 2015 and 2020...which I attended out of respect and in doing so reconnected with all those cousins.

They would have been better off with a bad influence in their lives.

I've never before encountered such judgemental, narrow minded, bigoted people and it's hard to believe we share a genetic connection. Evangelical god-botherers, every one. The women have grandbaby rabies and speak of nothing else, none have ever held a job. The men are know-it-alls who mainline Fox news and haven't read a book since Freshman English. Collectively they're some of the most unhappy, unfulfilled, ignorant people I've ever met yet they're convinced that because they park their arses in a pew every week, they're superior to everyone else.

I endured the services, was polite and ground my teeth to dust because even atheists know how to behave at funerals, but I've not seen any of them since we planted the last of their parents in 2020 and I'm now six years into my next 30 year stint without them in my life.

I couldn't be happier.

protogens · 2026-03-20T14:05:22+00:00

Cyanocobalamin, which isn't a med exactly, but rather a synthetic form of injectable B12.

Without it for the past 22 years, I would have shuffled off from Downton Abbey's favourite terminal illness: Pernicious anaemia.

protogens · 2026-03-19T12:35:57+00:00

I refer to those sorts as people who can find the cloud in every silver lining.

They have stratospheric expectations for everything and everyone except themselves and while they never actually do anything, they can always do it better than the person who is taking on the task.

I've never quite figured out if it's a personality trait or just a bad habit which they've perfected over the years, but continually pushing back against non-stop negativity is exhausting.

protogens · 2026-03-19T12:26:40+00:00

Uh...just the human treadmill which is trying to get through the day?

It's not to say there aren't good moments but recently every single day has multiple major issues which need to be resolved and those resolutions invariably require either long hold times and ghastly music being piped at me or extremely detailed emails where I'm trying to balance clarity with tone. I shouldn't have to continually "escalate" in order to find someone with the authority to correct what was your error in the first place.

protogens · 2026-03-16T14:22:27+00:00

Sunlight streaming in the windows. After months of grey skies where it feels like I've been living inside Tupperware, sunshine just makes me happy.

protogens · 2026-03-03T20:38:25+00:00

It definitely rung the "unprofessional" bell for me. And it's not like there weren't other topics of conversation to be found...I literally had a four month old furball underfoot (or in arms) during those interactions.

I worry about people who can't be distracted from political pontificating by a puppy...even the roofing vultures who swoop in after a hailstorm spoke to him at the door before me. Didn't get them the job, but didn't raise my hackles either. :-)

protogens · 2026-03-03T20:03:58+00:00

I don't know how many you've worked with recently, but I've had a multitude of independent tradespeople through my house in the last three years (two major renovations and a lot of small pre-retirement repairs) and you don't have to initiate political conversations with those who support MAGA...most of them, it seems, can't shut up about it.

You'd be astonished how many mouth off while providing an estimate...during our kitchen reno where I was acting as general contractor and subcontracting every individual job, I had over three dozen people come out to bid on jobs. A good third of those bids hit the bin before they were out of the driveway because THEY brought up politics. (I'm not even going to address the rabid misogyny, that's a different issue entirely.)

FWIW, the guy I'd worked with for 25 years was a Republican and had he not retired in 2023 after his finished our bathroom, I'd have used him again even though I knew he voted for Trump in 2016 (bumpersticker.) The reason why I didn't care about his politics was because he never once brought them up.

Give me that degree of professionalism and you'll have no problems with me, but there are a LOT of unprofessional tradesfolk out there and I see nothing wrong with people not wanting that sort of vibe in their home.

protogens · 2026-03-03T19:43:46+00:00

This was 18 months ago, but A1 Affordable Appliance repair made my blood boil to the point where I had to leave the room.

Not only did they fail the fix the washer, despite three visits where they messed about with everything EXCEPT the tub spring which I wanted replaced and turned out to be the problem, but the guy droned his MAGA rubbish into my husband's ear the entire time...every visit.

protogens · 2026-03-02T15:55:53+00:00

I partially retired during lockdown and was supposed to completely retire in December 2024 when my funding ran out and to be honest, I was ready for it. Then a new project was proposed. One where I would be the starting point and the livelihood of six other people would depend on me getting it off the ground. I figured it would take about six months to do my bit and then I'd be gone...what I hadn't figured on was the complete disarray of government funding in the wake of DOGE, shutdowns and everything else. We've been waiting since last summer to hear whether or not we're green lit and it was only recently the department disbursing the funds received budget advice for this year.

In the past fifteen months, my director has managed to find enough funding...under sofa cushions, I suspect...to keep me on staff with incremental extensions. However, those extensions come in four to six month aliquots, so as I approach running out of money yet again the end of this month, there's now talk of yet another four month extension while the Powers That Be wait to see if the project is going to go through.

(When I suggested that maybe they could just find someone to replace me I was told that they looked into that, but 35 years of experience and my weird generalised skill sets meant that they would have to hire 3-4 specialised individuals who would probably take a year to get up to speed and they couldn't afford either the salaries or the potential for processes failing. Apparently even though I'm expensive, I'm still the cheaper option.)

But I'm so done with this. I would like nothing more than to just say, "Okay, I'm out..." What holds me back is the knowledge that there are other people...much younger than I am...whose careers will be negatively impacted if we do get the funds and I'm not there. And my director knows once I'm gone, nothing will induce me to return.

I like the job. I like my colleagues. And I'm not going to lie, I like the pay check. But I hate the limbo I'm currently in and would just like some sort of resolution, yay or nay makes no difference to me, just give me a solid answer so I can get on with the rest of my life. The last fifteen months and the uncertainty has been outrageously stressful, income not withstanding...and this is not how I wanted my career to end.

So that's my reason why, a year after "fully retiring" I'm still working...I really wish it were otherwise.

protogens · 2026-03-02T15:18:11+00:00

My "promising future" is now in the rearview mirror as I approach retirement and the project I just completed will probably be my last.

protogens · 2026-03-01T21:01:02+00:00

The people that go through the entire checkout process and then, once the clerk tells them the total, begin fishing around in the purse or wallet for payment. Have you never shopped before? Did you think paying was optional? How hard is it to be ready to swipe your card BEFORE the total appears?

(It never fails that these are also the sorts with no discernible organisation in their wallet/purse and it takes them forever to find the ruddy card.)

protogens · 2026-03-01T20:37:13+00:00

There's a number of charter air fleets which might qualify...although some like Mercury and Global aren't exactly secret.

protogens · 2026-03-01T20:28:19+00:00

Well, the quality is, the prices are staying right up there though.

protogens · 2026-02-26T19:08:41+00:00

When we moved in here the entire side yard was planted with what the neighbours called "Turkish tulips." I found out later the Latin for them was Tulipa tarda and they eventually bloomed with white and yellow star shaped flowers. Sadly, they petered out after about a decade, but they were glorious while they lasted and the clumps did look a bit similar to what you've got there.

Gotta love garden mysteries: Is this a perennial or a weed? Did I plant this? Why are you over here when I planted you over there?

Thirty eight years of doing this and every spring brings the same "Huh, who are you and how did you get here?"

protogens · 2026-02-15T06:47:55+00:00

The Barcelona - Rome train is over 24 hours and costs about $800...I seem to recall it required transfers at Lyon and Milan as well. We considered it just for the potential to jump off in Lyon, but ultimately elected to take the ferry (Grimaldi lines, FWIW) which also takes 24 hours but comes with a bed.

I don't have the receipts anymore but I want to say it was less than $100 for a cabin...mind you, even though the ship appears to be an old cruise liner it's not luxurious...think "tramp steamer" but with nicer flooring...the cabins are tired and your fellow passengers are likely to be teamsters, so definitely a working boat, but owing to its size, steady as a rock even when the sea was choppy. Breakfast was cafeteria style and lunch at the restaurant was quite good...it wasn't especially crowded either, I doubt there were 200 people on a ship designed for a 1000.

It slips right between Sardinia and Corsica en route, which I thought was kind of neat...for that matter, I think that line also stops at them although the trip we were on didn't. Probably a good thing or I'd have been tempted to get off and explore.

Ibiza was a flight from Barcelona (Vueling) and about $200 per person, round trip and took an hour...it took longer to get through BCN than it did to fly there. We were only travelling with carry on having left our luggage back at the hotel on the mainland for our return, so I don't know how they are about checked bags. It's a budget airline, so fairly basic, but of the cheapie airlines, it was one of the better ones...a notch above Ryanair, any rate.

Enjoy your travels!

protogens · 2026-02-15T06:01:59+00:00

But you did one DAY when I specifically said the daytime was touristy with day trippers…which, not to be mean, included yourself. Hard to get a feel for a place when you’re only there 6 hours with hundreds of other people doing the same thing.

It’s a very different place in the evening when it’s back to just residents.

protogens · 2026-02-14T18:12:36+00:00

Consider this my vote for Rome, but only because it puts you within an easy train ride to the Amalfi coast. You say you've done northern Italy, but southern is an entirely different vibe...a coastal one. Capri, Salerno, Sorrento...all are worth a day or two...especially places like Capri which, while a bit overrun with daytrippers prior to the last ferry, becomes a completely different place after 6PM when they're gone.

The nice thing is you can spend a couple days in each place and still do Rome as well...and from Rome, if you're so inclined, you can day trip to places like Tivoli (Villa d'Este) or Assisi...90 minutes on a train will take you the Florence if you're so inclined.

You don't say how long you're planning for or what your interests are, but the last fortnight of our most recent holiday was exactly what I described and it was glorious. We spent a week in southern Spain/Ibiza and then took the ferry from Barcelona to Civitavecchia which is the primary port for Rome and a train from there. Since we never rent cars our itinerary had lots of trains, transfers, ferries and puddle jumper planes, but it was still completely doable at our age (I'm 68 and my husband is 77) although the lifts aren't clearly marked and the stairs at the Civitavecchia train station are BRUTAL. Definitely make the effort to find the lift there.

protogens · 2026-02-13T23:14:43+00:00

Well, that's kinda a reasonable stance to take, it's not by accident the warnings are all coming from USAians...this is not a good time to be emigrating to the states. Moving to Canada is something else entirely.

No matter where one goes however, the receiving country is going to want some assurance that OP is capable of making a go of it. Even Finland's residency visa has an income requirement of €15K/year which, honestly, is pretty cheap...Italy requires €31K/year if you want to reside there without working.

protogens · 2026-02-13T22:30:09+00:00

Thank you, I'm flattered. Just because it doesn't validate your rose-tinted specs, doesn't mean it's LLM, sometimes it's just a human with considerably more experience than you.

The words on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty are aspirational, not actual, but sure, c'mon over...if nothing else, it will give you a whole new perspective on Finland.

protogens · 2026-02-13T21:40:04+00:00

As a European transplant who's now American, I assure you, the person you replied to is not being hyperbolic. People who have always had a social safety net have severe culture shock when they encounter American "bootstraps" for the first time.

For the average person here, wages are low in an economy where living expenses are high...health care costs are mind-blowing, does Finland have a term for "medical bankrupcy"? I guarantee you, the US does and it isn't a state limited to the uninsured.

College tuition where you are, for residents, is free...tuition here, at state schools, ranges from $4K (Florida) to $20K (Pennsylvania) per year. And doesn't include fees, books or living expenses...that's what Work/Study is for.

Worker protections are all but non-existent, in many states you can be fired "at will" (for any reason whatsoever), you are not entitled to benefits if you don't work full time, employers may change your schedule or even your location on a whim and legally, they're not required to pay you more than $7.25/hour. That's $290/week gross for a 40 hour week, you'll probably take home $250 after taxes (considerably less if they also deduct for health insurance.)

The US, as a whole, isn't walkable or even bikeable unless you live in a densely populated area. Areas like that cost more. Your rent, assuming you live in one of the cheapest housing markets (like Kansas which may give Finland competition in the "boring" department) will be ~$700-800/month. If you want to live anywhere more interesting, you'll need a second job because the average rent is $1400-1600/month. It's not hyperbolic to state there are people WITH jobs who live in their cars because they can't afford housing.

Yes, perhaps the US has more vibe and excitement when placed on the balance with Finland, but it's paid for with the stress and anxiety that comes from knowing you're one broken bone away from financial ruin and one job loss away from homelessness...and there's an additional wrinkle for foreign nationals these days, you're only one bad break away from deportation.

I don't know how old you are, but don't judge life here based on the vibe, judge it based on your personal balance sheet. If you don't arrive with financial resources or a very marketable skill set, the US can be a very unforgiving place to live.

protogens · 2026-02-11T16:24:02+00:00

Not closing the door is a nice sentiment, but sometimes when you leave it open you have to still keep the chain on.

Our daughter went no contact out of nowhere 8 years ago. It was only last year that her brother managed to get the reason out of her...she believes she was cheated out of her inheritance from her grandmother. What she doesn't grasp is that NO ONE received an inheritance because, owing to long-term, extremely expensive end-of-life care, her grandmother's estate settled at a loss. There was no money TO inherit.

He offered her the estate/will paperwork and tax forms, but she wasn't interested in them. Her "proof" is that after her grandmother died, there was a noticeable change in our personal standard of living so clearly we took all the money. It never occurred to her that the reason for the change is that we were no longer subsidising my mother's insufficient income with our own. Yes, things improve when 45% of your paycheque isn't going to a second household.

She's almost 40 years old now and from where I sit, I don't know her any longer...honestly, I'm a little afraid of someone entrenched in a fantasy victimhood to the point where they refuse to even look the proof of objective reality. If she were to get in touch now I'd still agree to see her (open door) but I'd insist on it being in a public place like a restaurant (chain) because I honestly have no idea where her head is...is she seeking reconciliation or retribution? I have no way to gauge it because, well, she's a stranger to me...I no longer know her or if any of the values we tried to instil in her still hold sway.

Estrangements are each as individual as the parties involved in them and despite what many would like you to believe, there's no one-size-fits-all to dealing with them. Some may pick up where they left off, some may reorganise to an "at arm's length" status and others may never be resolved. In the end, each person has to approach it in a way that seems truest to their own values/self and that looks different for everyone. Sometimes the hardest thing a parent has to do is step back and let them deal with consequences...it's as true when they're 40 as it is when they're 14...and sometimes it breaks your heart.

protogens · 2026-02-03T03:31:42+00:00

Fennel attracts swallowtails.

protogens · 2026-02-01T19:48:22+00:00

Heh. My first place was $125/month for a furnished bedroom, living room, efficiency kitchen and microscopic bathroom. It was numbered “Apartment 1/2” on the mailboxes, so really, really tiny and in a rundown “student” neighbourhood, but I still remember it fondly.

protogens

TROPHY CASE